Just found out my OH is married. Should I tell his wife? How?

[Anniemannie]

I'm 24, and I met my OH after bumping into him a number of places around the city- it started off as sort of a joke but then it was TOO much of a coincidence and he asked me out officially with the line "you're probably already planning to go but would you like to go to X with me next weekend?"

He's great- sexy, clever, compassionate. He's quite a bit older than me but it's never really felt like it, we have a lot in common.

Neither of us have ever said we're looking for something official. I DID trust him with everything but I'm in no rush to get married, I'm not the sort of person to do anything without considering it thoroughly. We've been seeing each other about a year, we've gone away a lot but we spend a lot of time in the city as well so I never had the feeling he was hiding anything. I've met his sister and friends, but was never officially introduced as his OH, but I liked that.

Anyway, I go to a local bar tonight and he's there. With a woman and two teenage daughters who are clearly twins and clearly his, he didn't see me but I watched for 10 minutes and saw all his little touches to his wife's shoulder, pats to her knee, and at one point, a brief kiss on top of her head when he left the table to go to the bar.

I'm shaking. What do I do?

No worries hogfucker

babalou I think I'd have accepted just for the laughs!

What's with the ageism?!

I always feel stupidly protective when young mums post on here, especially if their spelling is all to cock or they use abbreviations and wait to pounce on people if they are spiteful to them.

I have probably been a bit of a twat on this thread, but I am a twat sometimes, it can't be helped.

Haha - hogfucker

I don't know - I didn't stay long enough to ask. To be honest and a little bit cruel 'it' was the size of a splinter so I doubt he'd of noticed

op why didn't you just go say hi to him at the bar? he was away from whoever it was at the table, things would have been a lot clearer, and if it was his wife and daughters you could have walked out and never looked back. wish i'd seen this thread earlier, bit late now!

I have probably been a bit of a twat on this thread, but I am a twat sometimes, it can't be helped

Me too, what with my Barry Grant obsession after all these years.

I can't remember Barry Grant. But Christ I loved Max Farnham.

Why did they get rid of Brookside, the bastards. It was great.

I thank god MN wasn't here when I had my babies, they would have been poor neglected souls.

I was 21 when I started posting on here when I was pg with ds.

Not whining I swear but I did stop coming on here when he was about 2 because there was a lot of 'pouncing' going on.

I remember posting about my mil () letting my 23 month old drink a pint of diet coke in a restaurant when they took him out. I told her that coke was a no! She took him out a week later and gave him lemonade! When I went mad she smiled at me (as we were in front of DH and fil) and said 'oh, you said no coke, nothing about lemonade'.

Grrrr - this still riles me to fuck! Anyway I had so many people telling me I was unreasonable and it was just a bit of fizzy! Not the fucking point.

Now I'm 27 and have a bit of a thicker skin and have only come back on here a few months ago and I love it.

Sorry to derail - just wanted to say.

I read back on my old posts the other day (old account) and I cringed. I was a gobshite.

I think you're jumping to a lot of conclusions OP.

Firstly, why definitely wife and not sister, close friend, ex wife?

How could you be so sure that twin teenage girls were 'definitely his'? Is there a certain way that a man acts towards teenage girls across a bar that proves that he is their father? If you're looking at body language etc it could easily be that he's a loving uncle, close family friend, ex stepfather or so on.

If this is a real relationship you just contact him, tell him what you saw and ask for an explanation.

I've just joined MN. I have a 6 week old little girl with a lovely man in our own home...I'm 23...does that mean I'm not welcome to post? Was hoping it would be a place to get some advice and have some laughs. Disappointed at the attitude of some posters :(

No babybells, anyone of any age is more than welcome.

You don't know people's ages anyway. I had been speaking to a mumsnetter for months and suddenly saw that she had read Harry potter when she was at school and was in her early twenties and was a whippersnapper. Had no idea. It doesn't matter anyway.

Same goes the other end, have been amazed many times that people I speak to on here are grandmas several times over!

I was a very young mum as well so will snarl if I see people being snarky to young mothers.

Welcome babybellsmum !

Post away and take no notice of some posters, it comes with the territory i'm afraid.. most of us receive some crap at some point.
Oh, and stay away from AIBU unless you have a sharp stick

text or call him - say you're in the same bar, wondering who he is with. - if he gets it his reaction will tell you what you need to know. He can chose whether to introduce you.

if he doesn't or does but acts oddly take satisfaction that you've given him a nasty shock, say hi/ bye quickly in a neutral way, walk out, cut contact.

Babybellsmum

You are welcome. I'm only 27, I must admit I do feel like hiding my age sometimes.

Most of the people on here are nice but as with most things, there are some nutters, crazies and weirdos.

I might be 1 of them

Wow op seems your thread had been spectacularly de railed. Might be worth posting again and hoping the troll hunters don't turn up .

Thank you :) Previous posts were baffling me as I don't think 23 is particularly young. I've gone through school, uni, work, bought a house, had a baby etc etc. Obviously you gain life experience the more years you're alive but I don't think age should be a factor in how valid someone's thoughts or opinions are. Looking forward to chatting to some of you nutters, crazies and weirdos haha

Sorry...should have posted this somewhere else. Was just replying in shock to some of the attitudes!

No need to apologise Babybell, t'was a fair valid post.

Reckon the OP probably won't return to thread anyway, and i wouldn't blame her.. if i'd posted looking for advice and support and read some of the previous posts, i'd do a bunk too.

I'm sure the OP will come back with an update when hell freezes over.

"I remember posting about my mil (angry) letting my 23 month old drink a pint of diet coke in a restaurant when they took him out. I told her that coke was a no! She took him out a week later and gave him lemonade! When I went mad she smiled at me (as we were in front of DH and fil) and said 'oh, you said no coke, nothing about lemonade'."

I remember that!

Did it JUST happen?

(You were totally right, BTW :o )

Joinyourplayfellows - this was 2 years ago.

Still makes me angry! I had so many people having a go at me telling me I was being unreasonable!