Just found out my OH is married. Should I tell his wife? How?

[Anniemannie]

I'm 24, and I met my OH after bumping into him a number of places around the city- it started off as sort of a joke but then it was TOO much of a coincidence and he asked me out officially with the line "you're probably already planning to go but would you like to go to X with me next weekend?"

He's great- sexy, clever, compassionate. He's quite a bit older than me but it's never really felt like it, we have a lot in common.

Neither of us have ever said we're looking for something official. I DID trust him with everything but I'm in no rush to get married, I'm not the sort of person to do anything without considering it thoroughly. We've been seeing each other about a year, we've gone away a lot but we spend a lot of time in the city as well so I never had the feeling he was hiding anything. I've met his sister and friends, but was never officially introduced as his OH, but I liked that.

Anyway, I go to a local bar tonight and he's there. With a woman and two teenage daughters who are clearly twins and clearly his, he didn't see me but I watched for 10 minutes and saw all his little touches to his wife's shoulder, pats to her knee, and at one point, a brief kiss on top of her head when he left the table to go to the bar.

I'm shaking. What do I do?

Text 'I'm in so-and-so bar, come and join me' and watch him look round....

I like this idea! I think that would get to the bottom of things PDQ.

I assumed post work drinks meeting non-work friends later. A normal Friday night for lots of normal women.

She's not in that bar any more Fetchez. She left and is in a dingy pub half way home.

In fairness to the OP, I've had weirder shit happen to me that people definitely wouldn't believe if I asked for advice on it.

In fairness to the OP, I've had weirder shit happen to me that people definitely wouldn't believe if I asked for advice on it

Same.

Like the time my ex said he was going to the shop and didn't come back for three days. I found him on the streets somewhere (sheer coincidence), with a witches hat on pissed out of his face.

What have you decided to do op?

Has your friend got to you yet OP?

Haha, strumpetron too funny!!!

I once in my late teens had a bf who had trouble keeping it up (big confidence boost for me). He did drink a lot and was a bit of a mess in general. After another drunken fail I went to sleep whilst he stayed up drinking with his mates (house share)
I woke up at 3am to this loud noise, he was fully naked - fucking the wardrobe. I swear. Humping the fuck out of the wardrobe.

I collected my stuff, left and didn't see him again. But I still wonder if I should be insulted -
1, did he think I was the wardrobe?
2, how did he manage to keep it up for the wardrobe and not me?
3, was the wardrobe better then me?

Twat

HAHHAHAHAHAAHAH

I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh by oh my god

Skully - that is not odd at all of course. What is odd is then joining MN from said bar to post she has seen her lover and his twins.

I expect the OP is having a fair few stiff drinks with her mate after that shock, as most of us would.

Annie Please don't be put off by the derailing of the thread earlier, there are a fair few of us here willing to help with advice and sympathy if you need it.

BDTD, not odd, if you went for a quick after work drink with colleagues, and didn't want to discuss what you'd seen/ your personal life with them.

But would your first thought be 'I KNOW I'll ask those people who are ao knowledgable about dick rinses'

When I was 24 and single this place would not be to my taste in fact, it wouldn't be on my radar.

I loved been 24. And single.

ankaret In that past we've had women posting just after they'd had their heads kicked in by their DP's. So what is your point?

bubalou DH wants to know how he avoided splinters!

Are you OK OP? X

I'm 22 and I post because it's the only place I feel comfortable speaking about my mental health, except to my DP.

Dont think age really matters. I remember we had a 16 year old poster.

No age doesn't matter, I would have loved this place when I was 22.

Strumpetron - please do laugh.

I know I do. What's weirder is that he friended me on Facebook a few years back! Why would you do to that someone who knows something so humiliating about you?

He now has twins and is married so he obviously managed to stop humping wardrobes and keep it up long enough to fully penetrate a woman. (Something he never really managed with myself or his ex that I know as well.)

Strumpetron 'we had a 16 year old poster' - er, yes, of course we did.

hogfucker yes we did. A couple of years ago. In fact she wrote a very articulate thread in which a lot of the 'regs' posted in, and we were shocked at her age and had a nice discussion with her.

There was also a 17 year old in AIBU a few days ago.

Sorry Strumpetron I thought you were talking about someone else.

I was pursued across a city for an entire evening by a chap and his friend. The chap was quite attractive so we ended up snogging (love the word snogging - conjures up exactly what my early 20s self did in bars!) and he tried to come home with me. I'm not that kind of lay-dee and declined. He had given me his number so a week later I called to invite him to a gig of someone we had mutual fondness for. He didn't pick up. Meh. I went to the gig with some girlfriends and had an awesome time A few weeks he called to say sorry he hadn't called earlier but he'd just found out his ex wife was pregnant. I asked by who? He said, oh by me. I said well not very ex then and hung up. True story. Lucky escape.