Just found out my OH is married. Should I tell his wife? How?

[Anniemannie]

I'm 24, and I met my OH after bumping into him a number of places around the city- it started off as sort of a joke but then it was TOO much of a coincidence and he asked me out officially with the line "you're probably already planning to go but would you like to go to X with me next weekend?"

He's great- sexy, clever, compassionate. He's quite a bit older than me but it's never really felt like it, we have a lot in common.

Neither of us have ever said we're looking for something official. I DID trust him with everything but I'm in no rush to get married, I'm not the sort of person to do anything without considering it thoroughly. We've been seeing each other about a year, we've gone away a lot but we spend a lot of time in the city as well so I never had the feeling he was hiding anything. I've met his sister and friends, but was never officially introduced as his OH, but I liked that.

Anyway, I go to a local bar tonight and he's there. With a woman and two teenage daughters who are clearly twins and clearly his, he didn't see me but I watched for 10 minutes and saw all his little touches to his wife's shoulder, pats to her knee, and at one point, a brief kiss on top of her head when he left the table to go to the bar.

I'm shaking. What do I do?

Or what mushroom said.

I think you could meet the friends without him seeing you and have one of them 'happen to pass' his table and wait to be introduced.

Or you could tell him you're going to that bar with friends, but only moments before you/they arrive so he has no chance to make a getaway.

I am not troll hunting, don't be tiresome.

OP stand on the table and shout 'OY OY SAVELOY' and see what happens.

I know its a long shot but he couldn't have a twin could he?

That would be a bit of a stretch, MisForMum, but a great twist in a romcom.

Lighthousekeeping report then ffs. Stop troll hunting.

I would take a pic of the family group and send it to him.

Definitely what mushroom said

I am just waiting for a moment in my life when something utterly awful like this happens, and instead of ringing a friend and saying 'get your arse down here pronto' I decide to create an account on a website I have never been on before (netmums, say) and ask for advice from complete strangers who I have never conversed with before

People are different. Sometimes its better to get advice from people who you dont have emotional ties to. Some people don't have close friends and so need our help.

Not very nice of you to post that, it's judgemental. Hope it doesn't put anyone off posting on here.

Well twins do run in families...

You sound rather jolly about the whole thing, are you not upset at all?

Barry Grant BoF

A young Barry Grant.

You don't know if they are married...you are jumping to conclusions

Steam and scully I don't know who you are or your intentions but thanks for that. Talk about putting people off.

Er Yes you are troll hunting as are a few other s on the thread. If you don't believe the op them what possible value are you adding by posting?

Putting people off what? Troll hunting?

If you think the OP is a troll, click on the report button. Simple.

He was nowhere near as good-looking as Barry Grant, reeling. Probably not even Terry, tbh.

I really liked Barry. Terry wasn't my type. Now I'm thinking of the whole Harry Enfield thing.

I would've shagged Barry Grant to death.

What was his name in RL?

Where is he now, omg, I could recapture my lost youth and elope with stalk Barry Grant.

Terry, well, no.

Barry was definitely better looking than Terry.

I would decide if you want him enough to compete with his wife for him. Or if you don't mind sharing...