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Original poster

Offered a housing association house but partner and his family want me to private rent

148 replies

jacinta1 · 30/10/2013 13:51

I currently have a one bed housing association flat. Now my baby is almost 2 weeks old I have been offered a small 2 bed housing association home in a nice area. The house itself could be bigger and doesn't have much of a garden but has the added bonus of being a former private home so not in an estate. And I am very lucky to get a HA home!
At the moment I am living with my partner's family in a beautiful area of the UK where there is no social housing. His family want me to stay in the area and this means either live with them (not a long term solution) or rent privately (since I have been offered social housing this seems daft to me).
The house I have been offered is an hour away from my partner's work so would reduce our income a lot in fuel costs each day but he is currently in a job he hates and looking for other work so I can't see how this is a problem.
His family say the house I have been offered is in a rough area (it isn't at all it's just not in an ultra-posh area like they live) and I wouldn't want to live there.

I am happy to live in the house by myself and my partner stay at his parents home if the area is too beneath him! I would prefer to live in the area I am in now but there is no social housing there. I really think it's daft to reject social housing for private renting but what do you guys think? Do the advantages really outweigh the negatives? Am I being stubborn?
I am very poor at the moment so would struggle to keep up with the rent if I rented privately. I am entitled to some Housing Benefit but only half my rent.
I guess I'm asking, is private renting that bad? I just don't like the idea of having such an insecure home

OP posts:
Elfhame · 30/10/2013 13:54

It's too insecure. A HA home offers much better security for you and your child.

Is you partner aware that a private landlord can give you two months notice with no reason? And some landlords will use this if you dare ask for essential repairs.

CogitoEerilySpooky · 30/10/2013 13:56

Isn't this for your partner and you to decide, not his parents to get involved? Assuming you actually want to be a family, that is.

fifi669 · 30/10/2013 13:56

Do what's best for you not DPs family! I'm in council accommodation and not entitled to HB anymore. It's a relief to know I have to pay about 50% of market rates!

With private renting the landlord could sell up, restrictions on what you can do with the property etc. it always feels borrowed to me. My house is my home. I feel secure there.

crazykat · 30/10/2013 13:57

My SIL had to private rent after as a last resort and is desperately trying to get a HA house as private renting is expensive, even with HB.

At the end of the day it's you that has to live there so if you like the house and area then I say go for it. If you DPs parents don't like it then tough if they aren't paying the rent then its up to you where you live.

NatashaBee · 30/10/2013 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRobberBride · 30/10/2013 14:02

Why are your partners parents involved at all? Surely you're grown ups who can decide what is best for your family?

FWIW, I would opt for the HA home. Generally cheaper and less insecure than privately renting. Do you really want to continue to live with interfering iLs longer than you have to?

awakemysoull · 30/10/2013 14:06

I was offered a HA house 4 years ago. I took the house and moved in. It was pefetct for me and dd. It was a great area and I knew most of the neighbours. I paid £295 per month in rent

I then met dp. We were 25 miles away from his work and family.

I very stupidly agreed to leave the ha house and rent privately in dps home town. We moved to a house of the same size but paid £750 per month in rent. It was awful and within a month I realised I had made a very big mistake.

We moved house again and it was £600 per month in rent for an even smaller house a further 10 miles away. We had to go cheaper when I fell pregnant with dd2.

I love this house but I struggle to pay the rent and bills even with a little bit of hb help.

Myself and dp have now split and I'm stuck in a very expensive house with very little chance of being offered council or ha accommodation

Even if you can afford private, it's not ideal. I always wonder what's going to happen if my landlord wants to sell up or asks me to leave - the chances of getting another private let are slim especially as I'm a single mum claiming housing benefit (the scum of the earth in the eyes of most landlords)

If I could turn back time, I would never have left the ha house and would have told dp to bugger off himself.

Please think it through. Private is not a great option there is no security and your rent could double in price over the years.

WeGotTheKrunk · 30/10/2013 14:08

I'd definitely go for the HA home. Private renting is such a lottery and HA is secure, cheaper, and with a lot of housing associations you have much better comebacks if you anything needs repairing, etc.

Private renting can be a nightmare. It can often be overpriced and substandard (in my experience) and the tenancies are much less secure.

It's quite hard to get a HA flat too, as you no doubt know, so if you've been offered one I would take it. Don't worry about what your in-laws think. It's you that'll be living there, after all, not them!

gamerchick · 30/10/2013 14:12

Sod that you've been offered gold.. It may not happen again. Always choose the secure option.

I like your idea if telling him to stay with his parents if it's beneath him.

LIZS · 30/10/2013 14:14

Why are you living with his family if you have a flat ? Sounds pretty claustrophobic , is there a reason your partner wants to stay put and have them so involved . You stand a better chance of security of tenure and protection for rent hikes in HA than private. there will be Social Housing in their area , they just may not recognise it as such.

frumpet · 30/10/2013 14:16

Get the house , you can always do an exchange in a years time if neccessary or later if you need bigger . Also get the tenancy in your name alone for the time being .

Abitannoyedatthis · 30/10/2013 14:17

Definitely 100 per cent take the HA property. Further down the line you can probably xfer to a HA property in another area; you may also have access to more first time buyer type initiatives later on. You are really lucky, almost impossible to get where I am and private landlords can be a nightmare.

Bogeyface · 30/10/2013 15:00

Forget their arguments about areas, commuting etc.

You cant afford to rent privately and thats all there is to it. If they are so keen for you to live in their area then they can pay your rent!

MadeMan · 30/10/2013 15:02

Take the HA place otherwise you're just throwing your money down the toilet and paying for someone else's mortgage.

FunnyRunner · 30/10/2013 15:04

You would be mad to turn this house down. Take it and make sure it's your name on the tenancy, in case things don't work out with your DP.

MistressDeeCee · 30/10/2013 15:19

Id ignore them all and just move into the HA property. A private tenancy means an Assured Shorthold tenancy - hardly secure. Especially if youve just had a baby. If landlord wants his house back, then out you go. Im quite sure your OH & family are aware of this, theyre just being controlling and not putting your needs 1st.

moldingsunbeams · 30/10/2013 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DismemberedDwerf · 30/10/2013 15:40

Agree, take the HA. The secure tenancy is worth all the hassle alone.

arsenaltilidie · 30/10/2013 15:48

It would be daft not to take the HA house.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 30/10/2013 15:55

We were privately renting until recently and I HATED it. Extortionate rent, no privacy because of frequent inspections, can't make the house a home by decorating etc, and no security - our ll told us they were looking for long term tenants, then sold up within 18 months. Don't privately rent with children unless you have to, it's shit.

Plus, it sounds like you'd be even more insecure because you can't really afford it.

coppertop · 30/10/2013 15:56

Take the HA home.

The only advantage to the private rental is that it stops your dp and his family from complaining - until the next time that they decide that you're not doing what they want you to do.....

halfwildlingwoman · 30/10/2013 16:00

Take it, take it, take it. If your circumstances improve you can save towards a mortgage. (if that's what you want). You need security and the HA need good tenants. And you need independence from his family.
I would never privately rent again if there was ANY alternative. (voice of bitter experience after 12 years of private landlords)

mercibucket · 30/10/2013 16:16

do you live with your partner in your mind or is he more a boyfriend?
I would not want an hour commute to work either so I can see his pov but it seems strange to not live with your girlfriend who has had your baby
how long have you been together?

I would take the ha flat and look into benefits single vs couple as well tbh

Original poster
jacinta1 · 30/10/2013 16:25

Thanks for all the advice people. Just to clarify, I am not living with the in-laws. I have a flat but just with the in-laws while I get used to baby and off to see my parents tomorrow. I'll be returning to my flat when baby is 4 weeks old.
Just living with them at the moment. The flat however, is not suitable for a baby (elderly neighbours, no lift)

OP posts:
Sparklysilversequins · 30/10/2013 16:28

Grab that HA tenancy with both hands and do not let it go. I am in HA property and its too small really but we are in a great location and I have rented privately before and it's a flipping stressful nightmare. Not going back to that!