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Original poster

Offered a housing association house but partner and his family want me to private rent

148 replies

jacinta1 · 30/10/2013 13:51

I currently have a one bed housing association flat. Now my baby is almost 2 weeks old I have been offered a small 2 bed housing association home in a nice area. The house itself could be bigger and doesn't have much of a garden but has the added bonus of being a former private home so not in an estate. And I am very lucky to get a HA home!
At the moment I am living with my partner's family in a beautiful area of the UK where there is no social housing. His family want me to stay in the area and this means either live with them (not a long term solution) or rent privately (since I have been offered social housing this seems daft to me).
The house I have been offered is an hour away from my partner's work so would reduce our income a lot in fuel costs each day but he is currently in a job he hates and looking for other work so I can't see how this is a problem.
His family say the house I have been offered is in a rough area (it isn't at all it's just not in an ultra-posh area like they live) and I wouldn't want to live there.

I am happy to live in the house by myself and my partner stay at his parents home if the area is too beneath him! I would prefer to live in the area I am in now but there is no social housing there. I really think it's daft to reject social housing for private renting but what do you guys think? Do the advantages really outweigh the negatives? Am I being stubborn?
I am very poor at the moment so would struggle to keep up with the rent if I rented privately. I am entitled to some Housing Benefit but only half my rent.
I guess I'm asking, is private renting that bad? I just don't like the idea of having such an insecure home

OP posts:
Lazyjaney · 30/10/2013 17:24

Do not use private renting if you can avoid it.

sisterofmercy · 30/10/2013 17:25

I would take the HA flat. It is a bit more secure, they often let you decorate to make it nice and the rent is usually cheaper.

I am renting privately and I've known some lovely landlords and some terrible ones. I am constantly worried that they will sell up and kick me out - it's happened a few times (even with the lovely landlords) so I would take a HA flat in a second if there was the slightest chance of my getting one.

PumpkinsPieEyed · 30/10/2013 17:26

Glad to read that your viewing it and likely to take it.

Sparklysilversequins · 30/10/2013 17:30

OP are you the one who's in laws were being very nasty and critical towards you almost as soon as you moved in? Please don't listen to these people, they don't have your best interests at heart and your DP is ineffectual at best.

Cabrinha · 30/10/2013 17:31

You posted about this before. Your mummy's boy boyfriend didn't like the commute from yours, for a minimum wage job, IIRC. So not exactly a massive deal financially for him to change job!

It'll continue to be unanimous - take the HA. Hen's teeth, and only going to get harder to secure one. Do what's right for your child.

ThePlEWhoLovedMe · 30/10/2013 17:41

TAKE THE HA - and never loose the tenancy (unless you win £££££)

AdoraBell · 30/10/2013 17:59

YY take the HA house, put all paperwork in your name and be careful that having DP "stay over a few nights" doesn't impact your HB or any other benefits you may claim.

Never, ever, ever let anyone pressure you into giving it up ever in the future unless you rather than DP are earning a bloody good wage in a secure job and so the HA want their cheap house back.

As for how to tell if you are being controlled, there's so much to look for because different people use different tactics to achieve the same end goal. Essentially though I you are being made to feel you have done something wrong, not approved of, anything different to their views is bad etc then it would be worth asking for advice in Relationships. There really is so much that can either be a red flag or innocent, depending on the context and person exhibiting the behaviour.

AdoraBell · 30/10/2013 18:00

OOps, just realised this is Relationships. Why did I think it was a different topic?

Elfhame · 30/10/2013 18:05

It's hard to tell if they are controlling, or if they are massive snobs who are so horrified at their grandchild being brought up on a council estate that they can't see it's actually the best option.

missnevermind · 30/10/2013 18:11

You must keep things as separate as possible from DP parents. You are the one with the baby and it is you living there.
They have already talked you out of living in YOUR flat. Don't give them any more control.

I know I am being bossy. But I really felt for you on previous threads.

LIZS · 30/10/2013 18:15

When are you leaving ? tbh it sounds as if the sooner you and ideally dp get away from his family's influence and back to normality the better. Is he financially dependent on them or something ?

HansieMom · 30/10/2013 20:29

I read earlier thread and it does appear he is an alcoholic. Best to rely on yourself.

Original poster
jacinta1 · 31/10/2013 14:15

I am taking the house. I'm just wondering if anyone knows if there is always no carpet in a HA home? I can't afford to carpet the house and I'm worried about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
jacinta1 · 31/10/2013 14:16

viewing the house tomorrow. Part of me thinks I should have stayed in my flat but it's not suitable for a baby really.

OP posts:
Harryhairypig · 31/10/2013 14:22

Please take the house. It will offer you security you will never get private renting and do not add him as joint tenant. Once you do he can end the tenancy whenever he wants and you may not be able to stay there
youdo have to carpet them but don't let that put you off as it's much better in the long run for your stability.

LemonBreeland · 31/10/2013 14:24

Don't worry about the carpets issue. There may be some, if not you will manage until you get some. It's not like your baby is crawling.

It seems your DP is not exactly reliable, so you really need to do what is best for you and your baby. The HA house gives you security.

RegTheMonkey · 31/10/2013 14:24

Perhaps his parents can help out with some basics for the new house - they maybe have bits and bobs they don't really need any more, or even make you a present of some things. You are doing the right thing taking the HA house.

lougle · 31/10/2013 14:51

You are doing exactly the right thing. I know a family who started with a 2 bed flat in a bad area, transferred to a 2 bed house in a slightly better area, then a 3 bed house in a nice area.

We have a LA tenancy and it's such a good feeling to know that we are secure for life.

TimidLivid · 31/10/2013 14:54

U will need to get carpets but don't let it bother u and if u are very hard even poundsland has floor tiles and low price stores like b and m seel floor covering rugs if inlaws are bothered could they help towards that. We paid about sixhundred pounds to carpet three bedroom and a stairs and vinyl floor bathroom wc and kitchen covering. Cheapo and no underlay but looks fine. For a while had cleaned by me flooboards. It took a few months to save for this but long term its nothing compared to the rent for one monht in a private let.

LIZS · 31/10/2013 15:12

You might be able to get end of rolls/remnants for most of the rooms. If it isn't a new property there may be flooring down already.

AdoraBell · 31/10/2013 15:18

Yes, don't let a lack of carpet put you off. Could your family help you? I don't know what prices of carpet are like where you are but maybe your parents could buy some as house warming/birthday/Christmas present?

And what Harry said about the tenanacy. The HA have offered you acomodación, make sure it is in your ñame soley, for your security and that of the baby.

MrsDeVere · 31/10/2013 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZombieMonkeyButler · 31/10/2013 15:21

I'm glad you have opted to take the HA house. The cost of having to find carpets is minimal compared to the extra cost of private renting in a "naice" area.

We have a HA house after coming out of a mortgage in negative equity - we couldn't afford the £1000 pm mortgage after DH & I were both made redundant and, as the property was in negative equity due to the recession, we were rather stuck! We weren't repossessed as such, no Court was involved but we did end up pretty much giving the house back to the mortgage company to sell. Repossession would have been the next step.

I know this is not your situation OP, but I would not swap the security of my HA house for a private rental OR another mortgage. If I could afford to buy my home outright, then I would move - but that's not likely to happen in the foreseeable future.

AdoraBell · 31/10/2013 15:25

I also remember your other thread. Being told where you will live and coerced or forced out of your home To live with ILs is controlling behaviour on their part.

missnevermind · 31/10/2013 15:39

It may have all changed now. But sometimes the HA Can do you a deal on carpets. They did for us but that was a long time ago. But I had heard of it more recently too.

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