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Original poster

Offered a housing association house but partner and his family want me to private rent

148 replies

jacinta1 · 30/10/2013 13:51

I currently have a one bed housing association flat. Now my baby is almost 2 weeks old I have been offered a small 2 bed housing association home in a nice area. The house itself could be bigger and doesn't have much of a garden but has the added bonus of being a former private home so not in an estate. And I am very lucky to get a HA home!
At the moment I am living with my partner's family in a beautiful area of the UK where there is no social housing. His family want me to stay in the area and this means either live with them (not a long term solution) or rent privately (since I have been offered social housing this seems daft to me).
The house I have been offered is an hour away from my partner's work so would reduce our income a lot in fuel costs each day but he is currently in a job he hates and looking for other work so I can't see how this is a problem.
His family say the house I have been offered is in a rough area (it isn't at all it's just not in an ultra-posh area like they live) and I wouldn't want to live there.

I am happy to live in the house by myself and my partner stay at his parents home if the area is too beneath him! I would prefer to live in the area I am in now but there is no social housing there. I really think it's daft to reject social housing for private renting but what do you guys think? Do the advantages really outweigh the negatives? Am I being stubborn?
I am very poor at the moment so would struggle to keep up with the rent if I rented privately. I am entitled to some Housing Benefit but only half my rent.
I guess I'm asking, is private renting that bad? I just don't like the idea of having such an insecure home

OP posts:
Original poster
jacinta1 · 01/11/2013 15:23

I went to view the house and unfortunately it was awful! Dirty, damp and a very unfriendly neighbour. I didn't even wait to view inside as the outside was all I needed to see. It's a shame I arranged a viewing as one look at the outside would have let me know it wasn't suitable. Luckily I still have a flat and although it isn't really suitable for a baby it is clean, warm and in a safe area. I shall now apply for social housing in the area my flat is. I am disappointed but I just couldn't live there. Not staying with the in laws though. They are so interfering its unreal!

OP posts:
motherinferior · 01/11/2013 15:25

Oh no - please go again and have another think. You can clean it up. Won't the HA help with damp proofing? If you turn it down, can you really get another place?

Original poster
jacinta1 · 01/11/2013 15:25

Partners mum asked my partner to let her known what the area was like. Wth is it to do with her. Glad I am finally seeing her for beings controlling and I shall be staying in my flat when I return from Scotland where I am visiting my family

OP posts:
LIZS · 01/11/2013 15:26

Was it empty ? In this weather and if unoccupied it would probably look a bit shabby from outside but not necessarily damp inside . Your choice though and hope something better comes along soon.

Original poster
jacinta1 · 01/11/2013 15:33

It wasn't just that it was dirty. It was damp and the doors were quite broken. The neighbour came out and asked me rudely why I was hanging around. He had a Rottweiler. Honestly it was the worst impression ever and unsuitable for a baby. The area I live in has quite a lot of Social housing so not like London. Social housing isn't as precious as in other places.

OP posts:
fromparistoberlin · 01/11/2013 15:33

stay where you are then , babys wont need their own room for quite some time away anway!

Original poster
jacinta1 · 01/11/2013 15:34

The area my flat is in that is and the surrounding area.

OP posts:
cjel · 01/11/2013 15:38

what a shame. At least you have your mums to go to now and then your lovely little flat while you wait for another house. At least it helped you realise what dps parents are like and made you strong enough to make your own choicesxx

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 01/11/2013 20:35

that's a shame. Hopefully they will be able to offer you something a bit more suitable soon. You have time - babies don't need much space at all.

AdoraBell · 01/11/2013 20:49

Sorry the house wasn't suitable. Good on you for returning to your flat. Sounds like a good plan and really there's not much that's unsuitable for babies. As long as you can make a few minor changes like fitting stair gates and cupboard locks etc, making sure she can't touch an open fire.

You should be able to make your flat safe even if it's small. Good luck with any future viewings.

HansieMom · 01/11/2013 23:26

The house does sound terrible in every way, but thank goodness you have your flat, and it is nice and cozy. And you are off to your family and then back home to your own place.

AmberLeaf · 02/11/2013 09:38

You didn't even look inside?

You bonkers sorry.

You won't get another offer in a hurry either.

AmberLeaf · 02/11/2013 09:40

you = you're

Actually its probably not you, you have probably just been pressured by your partner/his family.

MrsDeVere · 02/11/2013 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintesKabooom · 02/11/2013 10:40

'I can't ask for money from dp for things for the house as he doesn't want to live in the house or area'

The way I understand your situation, your dp and his family are not exactly supportive in other ways either. And it is not like your dp is falling over himself wanting to rent privately with you and go halves.

Which, considering how they are behaving, is a good thing I think.

Stay in your flat for now. But can you do a private swap with people who want to downsize?

HansieMom · 02/11/2013 13:53

Should you be careful of how often he stays there, so you do not lose benefits? He cannot live with you, right?

Original poster
jacinta1 · 03/11/2013 17:10

I can refuse as many as I like and social housing isn't scarce round here so it's not like some areas. I've been told I will be offered somewhere else is a few weeks but I am going to stay in my flat for now as it's still social housing and nice. It's not ideal but better than private renting which after a talk with my dp he has agreed.

OP posts:
cjel · 03/11/2013 17:21

OP do you mean to sound as if you just go his approval to live in your flat?x

gigglestar · 03/11/2013 18:45

I'm sorry-but you're dp sounds and acts like a useless twat who needs to cut the apron strings. Be careful their snobbish attitude doesn't rub off on you....social housing may be not be scarce in your area but the number of offers the housing association will make ARE. I work closely with my local housing association in a voluntary capacity and this is how they work:
a) based on a points system-the higher your points the higher your place on the waiting list
b) you are allowed to refuse an offer twice without losing your place on the waiting list. Refuse an offer the third time and (if the H.A think their offer was reasonable) you go SLIDE DOWN on the waiting list.

By 'reasonable',they mean whether the offer they made fits your requirements i.e number of bedrooms. Refusing for a third time because you don't like how it looks from the outside or because of a snap judgement made of the neighbours will NOT be accepted. Next time,go INSIDE and have a look around. Doors/windows can and will be fixed prior to you moving in as will any damage on the inside.

lougle · 04/11/2013 15:04

When I viewed our LA house, the entire front garden was filled with junk, the kitchen was being used as a 'site office' and everything was bare with terrible decor.

It's really quite nice now.

cjel · 04/11/2013 16:02

Lougle - I bet its more than quite nice if youlive in itSmile

lougle · 04/11/2013 18:57

We're getting there Smile 3 children, 4 chickens and a dog means that it will never be a show home, but it feels homely.

cjel · 05/11/2013 09:38

sounds just the sort of place I'd love to have,Show homes are soul destroyingly hard to live inSmile wonderfulx

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