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Original poster

Offered a housing association house but partner and his family want me to private rent

148 replies

jacinta1 · 30/10/2013 13:51

I currently have a one bed housing association flat. Now my baby is almost 2 weeks old I have been offered a small 2 bed housing association home in a nice area. The house itself could be bigger and doesn't have much of a garden but has the added bonus of being a former private home so not in an estate. And I am very lucky to get a HA home!
At the moment I am living with my partner's family in a beautiful area of the UK where there is no social housing. His family want me to stay in the area and this means either live with them (not a long term solution) or rent privately (since I have been offered social housing this seems daft to me).
The house I have been offered is an hour away from my partner's work so would reduce our income a lot in fuel costs each day but he is currently in a job he hates and looking for other work so I can't see how this is a problem.
His family say the house I have been offered is in a rough area (it isn't at all it's just not in an ultra-posh area like they live) and I wouldn't want to live there.

I am happy to live in the house by myself and my partner stay at his parents home if the area is too beneath him! I would prefer to live in the area I am in now but there is no social housing there. I really think it's daft to reject social housing for private renting but what do you guys think? Do the advantages really outweigh the negatives? Am I being stubborn?
I am very poor at the moment so would struggle to keep up with the rent if I rented privately. I am entitled to some Housing Benefit but only half my rent.
I guess I'm asking, is private renting that bad? I just don't like the idea of having such an insecure home

OP posts:
TimidLivid · 30/10/2013 16:31

Take the ha house as its secure for your baby the other options arent

allmycats · 30/10/2013 16:39

Go for the HA - you need to put yourself and your child in the most advantageous position you can.
Your partner and his parents' sound a bit up themselves. What would happen if you split up and you were to pay a private rent on your own ?

BalloonSlayer · 30/10/2013 16:53

Look, they are not even your in-laws, just your partner's parents. It doesn't sound like your partner and you even live together.

Why are you even considering these people's opinion on where you should live? What the hell has it got to do with them?

If your partner decided that he didn't fancy parenthood after all, and dumped you, you and your DC would have nothing. Sorry to insult him by suggesting he would, but just from the bare bones of what you have posted it doesn't sound like he has done anything towards getting a home where the two of you can live with your baby and build up your own family unit.

Damnautocorrect · 30/10/2013 16:53

I rent privately it's shit, your always on tender hooks that the LL could visit, put rent up / decide to sell. Which could mean my ds moving schools.
I don't want to plant flowers in the garden in case I don't see them grow, you can't always decorate have pets or even put a picture up

Ha all the way

Original poster
jacinta1 · 30/10/2013 16:54

I am completely independent and my partner and I do not share money at all. He wouldn't be living with me officially but would stay some nights a week with the view to move in properly once he got a job in the area. The tenancy would always be in my name even though I believe we will stay together.
I do feel like I am being controlled a little eventhough they are good, genuine people. What are the signs of being controlled?
I feel like I'm a bad person for trying to do what's right for me and my baby :-(

OP posts:
BurberryFucker · 30/10/2013 16:55

do not even think about it - private renting is shit, take it from me.
Take the HA place without another thought!!

Original poster
jacinta1 · 30/10/2013 16:56

I have decided to take the HA property although I am really worried as I don't have any income while I'm waiting for my benefits to come through and next installment of student finance. I am worried I will be in rent arrears before I've even started.
Also if there is not carpet down God knows how I will afford that

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 30/10/2013 16:57

Take the HA house.

BurberryFucker · 30/10/2013 17:00

yes well if you do fall into rent arrears at least you can come to an arrangement with HA, a private landlord can tell you to leave any time he/she likes.
please take it. (well jel)

Sparklysilversequins · 30/10/2013 17:02

You'll probably walk in and think WTF have I done. I know I did. But it will be sorted within weeks and in a few months will be just how you want it.

specialsubject · 30/10/2013 17:03

and bring on the landlord haters...

most private landlords are decent. But many cannot take you because they cannot get insurance for an HB tenant. Not because you are 'scum'. Also some landlords may have a change of circumstances and shock horror have to sell their property.

take the HA flat. You probably have no alternative anyway, and it sounds perfectly decent.

BurberryFucker · 30/10/2013 17:05

most private landlords are decent
no they are not they are bottom feeding parasites

Original poster
jacinta1 · 30/10/2013 17:05

I've just phoned and agreed to view it (altho already know I'll take it). Excited but so nervous due to money constraints. Already paying off a social fund loan from my flat. Feel a little sad too as wanted to move back to my family hometown but can't because of partner.
At least this will feel like a home tho

OP posts:
specialsubject · 30/10/2013 17:05

oh, and if you stop paying rent a private landlord CANNOT 'tell you to leave any time he likes'. They have to go through the legal procedure which takes months.

there is some serious ignorance on here.

but I repeat - take the HA flat. You can get carpet on freecycle or ebay, rugs from charity shops, all sorts of things cheap if you look around.

nkf · 30/10/2013 17:05

A housing association house in a nice area. It's a no brainer.

BrianTheMole · 30/10/2013 17:05

HA place. Its a no brainer.

BurberryFucker · 30/10/2013 17:06

specialsubject it is not 'ignorance' it is the voice of experience.

BrianTheMole · 30/10/2013 17:09

oh, and if you stop paying rent a private landlord CANNOT 'tell you to leave any time he likes'. They have to go through the legal procedure which takes months.

Months isn't very secure though. Not if you want to be settled on one place for a while.

MrsSchadenfreude · 30/10/2013 17:10

Take the HA house - we moved three times in 18 months renting privately as no-one would rent for more than 6 months at a time.

I've also been a private landlord and most definitely was not a "bottom sucking parasite." And I think our tenants would have agreed as they stayed there for 8 years.

stephrick · 30/10/2013 17:11

I implore you to take the HA house, nobody can read the future, if you private rent you will be stuck with no offer from HA again. I private rent which was fine, however when my partner passed away I could see no way of affording the rent unless with HB, 5 years later still far from a HA house, while rent is partially paid as I work it reduces my options of increasing hours as I will always never be able to be pay the rent in full myself. Hope this makes sense.

BurberryFucker · 30/10/2013 17:12

besides if you do not leave within the TWO MONths private landlords give you, and he/she has to take you to court, yes the process will be lengthened by another couple of months - then you try and private rent again.....? impossible. So essentially if they say leave, you leave.

AmberLeaf · 30/10/2013 17:13

Hope you like it when you view.

HA over private any day.

AmberLeaf · 30/10/2013 17:14

BurberryFucker bang on.

PumpkinsPieEyed · 30/10/2013 17:22

I would say go for the ha instead of private letting too. .Private letting is not secure and expensive before you even pay your heating bills etc and the ha house is really where you want to go then you should.

You do not live with your partner so it is your choice for yours and your dc happiness not your in laws or even dp an hour travel is not gonna kill him if he is committed and frankly probably would still out weigh the cost of private renting.

You could always make a plan to save or improve you finances to one day live near Inlaws or maybe not Wink.

Do what you want for you.

motherinferior · 30/10/2013 17:24

I can assure you MrsS leaves bottoms alone.

Having said that, I'd go for the HA. Definitely.