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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need to get out of this hell

159 replies

sadsong · 26/10/2013 17:56

If you think you know who I am in rl, please dont out me. But here I am again, perhaps 3 months on from last violent outburst. This time he punched me in the face and slapped me. Apparently it's all my fault again.

I am working my way towards leaving but finances are so entwined. I have nothing that's my own. So I'm playing the waiting game. Paying off debt and trying to make a secure financial future for my children. I believe I have about a year before I can leave.

I know you'll all say leave now. I can't yet. I will I promise I will.

This is the 3rd physically violent relationship I've been in. This one didn't become violent until we got married. I feel dead inside. If only there was enough money to leave now. But there isn't. I just wanted to feel less lonely and that is the reason I'm posting. I know the score I've been here before.

OP posts:
springylippy · 30/10/2013 00:47

Well, I was advocating that she 'just run'. I'm sorry if that was ignorant in light of better's firsthand account, that it seems that the net to catch people in OP's position appears to have some giant holes in it. Appalling. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. It is just appalling beyond words Sad Sad

I wish you well, sadsong. I am so sorry you are facing this and I hope there is a resolution sooner rather than later Flowers

HissyFucker · 30/10/2013 07:53

Oi! Everyone just back the fuck off will you?

If ANY of you have experience of former DV (as I know you do) you will know that when you're in it, it's a total FOG tornado, you can't see the hand in front of youf face for thé Fear, Obligation and Guilt.

Yes, sadsong does need to get out, yes asap, and yes, she's in a VERY dangerous situation, but telling her she's bad, and failing her family is hardly going to help her find the herculean strength she needs to get out.

sadsong, please investigate the real situation, with all the plusses and minuses of all the debt solutions, explain the business situation to a professional and see what they say.

I remember all too well, the fear of facing all this means that we do allow any and every obstacle to be impassable.

That's the abuse doing that love.

Is there any way your business could be relocated, move with you?

I'm sorry to hear your mother's not going to be much help, but this is common in DV victims, we get groomed for it, and a normal parent'd have been straight on the phone to ask if you're ok, not ignoring it.

My mother was the same. It's awful. I've been utterly let down by my entire family. It hurts.

I'm here for you, i'll hold your hand, but you really DO have to look at professional advice from a number of sources.

Finally. You WILL need to go to therapy to learn to heal from all this.

Your lif has been so badly shaped and controlled by others, and you've lost the idea that this is your life, and only you (and your dc) matter, and sometimes in that very order.

You're telling yourself and ruling out things that would help you.

This is going to be a tough journey, you know that. You will be the one that makes it harder for yourself at times, so prepare for this and power through it.

Fix your eyes on your goal, to be out, safe, with all your dc, and working profitably. Don't ever lose sight of this. Your current life is preventing that, so time to wriggle free of the shackles and move on towards where you need to be.

Your life is at risk, so you can't afford to be held up a day longer than is necessary.

Once you realise that anything and everything is, and should be on the table inthe pursuit of your dafety and freedom, and as long as your kids are ok and with you, then nothing else matters, everything else can be made again, then the taste of freedom will start to come to you.

You can do this, you just have to be smart. Get 3 opinions on legal/financial advice, get the punch seen by a Dr, and make sure you start leaving proof and evidence of DV, just so you get the legal aid, and eventually the child visitation protection.

Box clever. It will be ok, but you really do have to act.

PM me, or anyone on here you find of assistance?

trish5000 · 30/10/2013 08:15

Still thinking about you sadsong. Hope you are able to get the advice you need. Realise that you cannot come on here very often due to your very heavy life work load Thanks

fromparistoberlin · 30/10/2013 08:45

I am so sorry

its easy to say "a few quid" but we all need a roof over our head

I think you need to call womens aid and do what you can to get into a refuge in case violence escalates

you are also no goods to your DC if you are injured

I feel desperately sad reading this, its an awful situation

PLEASE call womend aid OP

fromparistoberlin · 30/10/2013 08:48

and hissyfucker, Thanks

mammadiggingdeep · 30/10/2013 08:50

Sad song- have been thinking of you. Please pm one of the wise mumsnetters on here. Please be as open minded as possible on routes away from your h.

Sending good vibes x

sadsong · 30/10/2013 09:22

I'm not ignoring any of you, I just wrote out a lengthy reply and I think my Internet dropped out! So will be back later.

OP posts:
AnkaretLestrange · 30/10/2013 09:26

Good god that does sound like hell.

He has punched you in the face. That is a frightening level of violence, I can only imagine how it would get worse.

Apart from the pain it is causing you it must be a godawful life for your children, especially the older ones who know what's going on.

As much as the financial aspects are daunting, surely you can't envisage yourself living like this for another year? What is he going to do next?
Twinkletoes has some great advice, please do think about getting an injunction.

springylippy · 30/10/2013 12:30

But if sadson told herr GP it would then be a cp issue - s/he would be duty bound to report it hissy.

Have you called Womens Aid? At least then you are anonymous. They would give you some legal advice on what you can do. Rights for Women is a free legal advice service Womens Aid will probably refer you to.

I'm sure you know all this though. I've re-read your OP and your despair is palpable. I do have a lot of compassion for you, I really do (as almost all posters on here do) but technically the needs of the children come first in the eyes of the law. That's just how it is. The law is right... but all very well to lay down the law and then for there to be no effective net to catch you all as a family. It is monumentally crap.

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