Mojavewonderer Just so you know I don't think having a wank while being in charge of a child and my husband and I having a quickie in a locked room is the same at all
How is it different exactly? The quicky is with another person and the wank is alone. They are both sexual acts. One alone, one with another person. The only people who would think that knocking one out alone and knocking one out with another person were completely different, would be people who think that masturbation is dirty or sinful. The result is the same.
Oh and the wank was is a locked room! It was in a toilet, so the same in that way as your quicky with your husband.
Thisisaeuphemism Just this once, and very stressed mum, both intimated that it was no big deal. Other posters have suggested its just a "silly, self indulgent, horny mal thing". This is minimising it, clearly.
Or perhaps we are just not hysterical and can see it for what it is. You can't minimise something that you were never over reacting to in the first place. Completely different thing.
Scarynuf He didn't 'get' aroused whilst caring for a child, he actively sought arousal whilst caring for a child. That's the difference. A man that wants to be aroused in front of a child, to the point of needing to ejaculate, would not be welcome in my home.
It is much more likely that he was feeling sexually frustrated so looked for an image to use for that purpose, rather than "he wanted to be aroused in front of a child" 
That's putting your own sick minded spin on it. Oh my God! There's pedophiles everywhere!!!!!!
I find it concerning that so many poster on this thread are freaked out about someone thinking about sex whilst being the same room as a child. It is possible to be a bit aroused/think about sex/see a picture of some breasts or whatever, without it being necessary for that thought to involve everyone in the room. His having a sexy thought doesn't mean that for him that sexy thought involved his child! That doesn't make him a pervert, just as if sex pops into your head/you feel a bit horny while you're sitting at your desk at work doesn't mean that you want to shag your boss/the person sitting opposite you.
How terrible that your minds would immediately assume that. 
It says more about you and our society than it does about him.
mammadiggingdeep He is not a family man. He looks at porn with his child present and leaves the child undupervised to wank.
But it's ok to leave the room to have a quicky with another human being? You should ask yourself what is so different between the two. Do you see masturbation as dirty? Sinful? Did you go to a Catholic school? From a culture where masturbation is forbidden?
oldgrandmama a stupid, thoughtless, bored and probably randy man surfing the web, small child in the room playing, and he didn't engage brain while engaging you-know-what so went off for a few minutes for a wank. I assume there were no matches, knives, guns, bottles of sulphuric acid lying around for the child to play with in his brief absence and that he turned the screen off. There are so many situations of appalling sexual abuse of kids - I could tell you some tales. But for me, I give OP's husband the benefit of the doubt here - he was looking at porn, child was in the room, he didn't think of the ramifications. To jump from this to some suspicion of 'kiddy fiddling' is to my mind unfair. I think the OP is handling it well, her husband will never dare click on anything much again, so please, stop haranguing her to LTB etc.
I agree.
MissStrawberry Just - I did understand your posts. That is why I said what I said. I have no concerns about everyone "seeing" how "nasty" you think I have been as I am certain I have not been. What I have been is keen to challenge ridiculous posts where I thought they were not in the best interests of a vulnerable 3 year old.
You most certainly did not understand my posts otherwise you wouldn't have said what you did. Challenge posts by calling people stupid? Really? All you have done is show your true colours. Lovely.
TerrorTremor I would step away from this thread now OP as it's got really attacking and I don't think that serves any purpose. You are doing what you feel is right and you are keeping an eye on your children and your partner. I don't think you have done anything wrong and you are trying to do what's best for everyone involved. Nobody gets it right all the time, but it sounds like he was more an idiot than being abusive... I don't see why everyone is getting so het up and adding things to the situation that aren't there.
Because this is mumsnet and that is what posters do? 
Particularly when it's about a MAN! Aaaarrrhhhh run for the hills! Men are so scary and eviiiiiiiiiiil!