Oh God! Just looked up H OW on FB - feel sick

[Whatnext074]

I know I shouldn't have done it but I was curious. Yesterday I told myself that I didn't need to search for her but I just did, I didn't know her surname but just did a search under her first name and location.

My H told me she was older than me but she doesn't look it and I feel so sick as she is stunning. I feel sick, I feel sick! It's all in my head now and I shouldn't have looked. I'm just torturing myself. I'll never get better.

08457 90 90 90

Ring them. You just need to get through the night for now. For your son.

Yes there is somebody in RL. There's you and DS. I've been where you are. I was shocked at my body's physical reaction when I found photos of DH and OW. Fuck'em both. You sound lovely. Keep posting here x

Your son is more important than any man.

You will get through it. You don't have to measure how slowly or quickly you don't compared to,other people.

Oh no :(

I wish I could make you feel better...

What you are going through is part of the process, there is no quick easy way.
This mad grief is the start of the healing process...

You are not alone, many of us walked this dark rocky road,
two steps forward, one back, even falling down...
Keep going for DS.
If you keep going, it will be ok.

On phone to Samaritans, not helping, she doesn't know whatto dsay

We all feel for you. We round all call/come round if we could. Please please don't torture yourself with FB again. It's a killer. I was doing it, looking at him and her together. It's not healthy for you to keep revisiting the pain. What did you want him to say when you called? He's already shown himself to be a stupid fool with his 'postal' requests. FYI tell him to pay for a bloody redirection like nirmal
People. Or just keep writing on the letters..they won't get to him! Please talk on here or call the Samaritans. You sound shattered and exhausted .

I think just talking to someone real is a good thing. Please keep talking

OP are you there? if Samaritans isn't working talk to us. I am here and I will stay here.

She just yawned, can I hang up

You can hang up, absolutely, if it's making you feel worse. You can also ring back and will likely be connected to someone else, if you would like to keep talking to someone

I said I was hanging up, she wasn't bothered. I don't want to be sectioned. I've been through too much. I can't cope.

Let all the wails out - it does hurt. But please stay safe.

I'm sorry that she seemed like she wasn't bothered :(
Perhaps that wasn't the case, and she was trying to give you room to talk. Either way, it's ok if it didn't work for you.

You won't be sectioned simply for a state of emotional distress. Your partner leaving has hit you so hard but you won't always feel this way. You can cope.

Would you like to talk about what happened?

You can post here and talk to us.

I have tried so many times to reach out for help. I've tried. I've put it all down in a draft email to my H and my DS. I still love my H, he doesn't care, he never said sorry. He hates me. I feel worthless. I lost our 2 babies and our 2 baby nieces died. There isn't something good around the corner, I'm going backwards and he's moved on to this beautiful intelligent woman. I'm broken, I hurt beyond belief. I'm sorry.

You may feel like you can't cope but actually you can cope and you are coping!

You do sound devastated. It has been a huge shock to you and no wonder you feel so crushed because of the hurt your feeling. Others who go through this also feel this bad I promise you, you are not alone or going mad all that your feeling is very normal after such a huge blow.

FB isn't real op. I look bloody lovely on FB. In real life I'm afraid to say its not really that good .

You may feel like you can't cope but you can and you have found the strength to reach for help and support here. Its a great step forward. Everyone needs help and support sometimes.

Talk to us on here then. There is always someone on MN.

I'm so sorry you're hurting - please don't do anything to hurt yourself. Think of your ds! You can keep talking here.

I'm so sorry you lost your babies OP. It sounds like you have so much pain to deal with. Your H is gone but you will be ok without him. You are enough in yourself, for you and for DS.

She is stunning, great job and loves culture, travelled a lot. Everything he wants. I'm no good, he doesn't care. He doesn't care if I wasn't here, he wants me wiped from his life.

No FB is bollocks. One of my friends stages photos for FB. She will actually get a mixing bowl out, put on a pinny, chuck a bit of flour about and take a picture of her and her dd making a cake! There is no cake.

I'm sure she has good qualities OP, most people do. But I'm sure you do, too. You feel so crappy about yourself at the moment and all you can see is her, but she is not perfect, and their life together will not be perfect.

Your H has left for a myriad of reasons and many will not be to do with you. His leaving does NOT mean you are no good.