The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

[Kirstywirsty]

I finished with FoF on Saturday

He changed plans on me and let me down ( not for first time) I called him on it and he said he is not going to change his priorities .. He needs to cancel plans if it suits him for his hobbies )I told him I deserved better .. Shame as we got on well but I'm not being treated like that

[feelinlucky]

Kirsty, well done. You do deserve better. Well I've been rejected yet again. Why can't these grown men be grown up and say no thanks. I think it's really rude. So you spend an age chatting incessantly, have a fun night then bloody nothing! Ffs, what is that all about!

[splishsplosh]

That's a shame Kirsty - it sounded like things were promising with him. But the fact that he was clear that his priority was his hobbies must have hurt. Well done to you for not accepting being treated as less important.

I have a lunch date tomorrow, which am looking forward to although have got to a point when don't really have any expectations at all other than hoping will be a generally pleasant occasion.

[joblot]

How long were you together kirsty? Sounds really disappointing and sad. And he sounds unreliable. Still bloody hard ending things though. As I get older it's like another nick out of my heart. But you may be young and hopeful so I'll shut up

[niceupthedance]

Bad luck feelin. I also wonder what is so hard about declining politely. Although I have to say, chatting a lot before a first date is usually a no-no for me as it feels like a waste of time in case you don't like each other.

[Kirstywirsty]

joblot 4 months .. Ho hum .. Back to the drawing board

[Kirstywirsty]

And I'm 45 and still hopeful

[joblot]

I'm 48 and hopeful, matched with big dashes of cynical and realistic. I'm dating but it's up in the air as she has been polyamorous and isn't sure if she wants to be with me. I don't, so shes thinking about it. We all have so much more baggage the older we get.

Are you od kirsty?

[yogagirl7]

Aw Kirsty I'm sorry! Sounded like it was going so well. Hope you're ok.

Still going well with SnS. We had a really great weekend away, we seem to get on so well when we're together. He's a little insecure - looks for a lot of reassurance that I still like him/fancy him/want to be with him - which I do! But the I find the constant questioning a little difficult to deal with. Then again, I guess that's the down side of being with someone who isn't arrogant/alpha male. The upside is he is very kind, considerate, interested in making me happy. And he is warm and lovely and cuddly - and a fab kisser. So we will carry on and see where it goes.

[joblot]

And feelin it's the same on the gay scene, lots of disappearers

[49howdidthathappen]

I am 49 Joblot Will have been with my bloke for about 10 months. A chance meeting in RL. We are getting married at some point :)

Fantastic yoga Long may it continue.

[Kirstywirsty]

I've just unhidden my POF profile joblot .. I take it that is what you meant and you didn't miss a 'd'

yoga I am delighted for you

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

So I had my first first date last night, trying OD for the first time in a good few years. Not a lot of messaging beforehand which is my new rule now as I don't want to get to know someone too much before we actually meet in person.

No instant massive instant physical spark and he seemed a little nervous but was a lovely guy, we seemed to have a very similar approach to a lot of things, liked a lot of the same things but also enough different things that we'd each be willing to try which would be nice. He was the gentleman all evening, picked a great venue equidistant between us, wouldn't let me get a drink in all evening, and even walked me to my tube platform!! Slight fumbly quick goodbye hug/cheek kiss he seemed to get all nervous again. I had a very pleasant evening though and think he could be a grower. No text from him afterwards.....I'm wondering how to play this now. If I didn't hear from him, it'd be a shoulder-shrug and oh well, but equally I would very happily go on a second date with this one. I'm thinking if I don't hear for 2 days maybe one little text from me? Hmm.

feelinlucky I agree there should at least be a ''thanks, fun night but I don't feel the spark to take this any further'' message. Otherwise it's just rude.

[feelinlucky]

Niceup, you're so right and it's normally my rule alongside no getting drunk. I broke both. Silly woman that I am. Hopefully on a second date with another guy on Friday. I'll fill you in if it actually happens. I've been repeating lots of positive affirmations this morning. I ll tell you if that's working too :)

[akaWisey]

Evening all.

I think once they start mucking about with cancellations, it's all over and if they can't prioritise you at least some of the time it's all over.

I'm 53 and still hopeful despite events guy not phoning or texting as he said he would (very eagerly). However, looking back at the date I think there were pinkish flags which may have meant something or nothing so I'm shrugging too. I'd have seen him again to check out whether they turn a darker shade though!

However - music man has phoned 3 times and he's coming down to me to take me out to dinner on Friday night! I like the sound of his voice, what he's said so far and in response to his first message I was completely up front about what I consider to be the purpose of dating and a relationship which works for me. To my surprise he thinks the same so we'll see. We've both agreed that if the spark isn't' there in person we'll have had a nice evening .

[niceupthedance]

Oneday, I wouldn't text, personally. If he wants to see you he will ask.

Talking of which, looks like my date this weekend is not happening. He hasn't told me either way, so I am making other plans. FB is trying to grovel his way back into my good books but I will be strong!

[joblot]

Wisey that sounds hopeful. Take it you have an idea of what he looks like so won't be a terrible shock.

Oneday- did he get in touch?

[Kirstywirsty]

Morning all .. I have not one but two dates lined up Sunday and Thursday .. Best way to get over one man is to get under another allegedly

[splishsplosh]

Oneday - I have the same dilemma - i had a lunch date yesterday - he was good company no immediate phwoar, but I enjoyed spending time with him. But I haven't heard from him. I quite often send a text along the lines of "thanks for an enjoyable lunch / evening, it was good to meet you" and then leave it to them to actually ask if they want to meet again, but I haven't done that this time. I'm going with Bant's they'll get in contact if they want to belief.

I have another date booked for Monday - lunch, and then dinner if we get along - that would be the quickest 2nd date I've ever had if it works out!

[Snapespeare]

hello thead! Just dashing by to say hello - all is well with lovely nameless and I - he spent the weekend at mine and charmed the DCs a little bit more, then we went to the nudey beach on Sunday - it was a bit parky, so I put my kit back on and while nameless popped back to the car to get his coat a naked leathery old man came and sat next to me and had a chat This freaked me out a bit, especially as the place seemed full of single older men standing around with tehir arms crossed pointedly staring at each other. Leathery old man (LOM) asked if I went o any clubs. I wasnt sure what kind of clubs he was referring to so just reiterated that I liked this beach because it's friendly and clean and PEOPLE DONT BOTHER YOU! then lovley namless returned and kept asking if I was OK, because I looked a bit freaked out.

hope all well with you all - have been neglecting you all - busy with kids and work and nameless and applying for jobs and trying to budget for huge unexpected bills! grr!

[scrazy]

Hello, just thought I'd check in too.

Kirsty, the way to get over one man is to get under another worked fine for me. I never thought I'd get over LT as fast as I did. I deliberately met someone for a meaningless fling a few times and it did the trick. Then I met someone local and fingers crossed it will come to something.

I wouldn't get in touch with a guy after the first date first. Unless I had acted like I never wanted to see them again and changed my mind.

[WawaSkittletits]

Hi everyone,
Can I join in? I'm a 24 year old with a 14 month old dd. I started dating about 2 months ago. I'm bisexual so I'm on OKCupid but have yet to meet any women.
Its been a bit of a disaster so far and I haven't a clue where I'm going wrong!
I've only met up with one guy so far (we had about 5 dates) but red flags started popping up everywhere and I called it off.
I've had to cancel another date recently with someone else because he was getting way too intense.

The problem I'm facing is I either seem to find men that are waaay too intense (wanting to message constantly, too familiar too quickly) or men that seem to be promising at first but then just send me penis pictures ...

I don't seem to be getting excited about any dates that are planned for some reason! Is that normal?
I don't agree to anything until I've spoken to them for a little bit and a general rule for me is I need to have a video chat on skype before meeting up.

[akaWisey]

Hi wawa. I have the same thing with most dates - not 'feeling it' sort of thing but I'm trying to go for 'decent seeming guys'. that said -

I have inadvertently dated a MM. Only once, had no idea, and there was no spark for me anyway. I was so fucking busy doing 'the waitress test etc' it didn't occur to me to look for a wedding ring mark……..

Yes, music man has posted a number of really good pics and I fancy him to look at. What he's like in the flesh will obvs make a difference. And I'll be scrutinising his hands now too

[Hamwidgeandcheps]

Hello everyone. Well I have ballsed it up with crush man. I'm so bloody ill and grouchy and well.... Shy. I have killed it. There is a social occasion on Sunday he may attend. I will endeavour to try and look nice and be charming.

[Hamwidgeandcheps]

Where is everyone....