The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

Yes it's simple niceup just remember You're the prize.

I agree with the others broken he sounds ever so controlling! run while you can!
wisely every date has to have its perks, good luck

I have first date with Supermarket buyer man tonight, drink at the pub.

I will try to do the loo update tonight, if they have wifi!

Hello dating folk.

I've had coffee date with events man. And I like him!!!!!!!!! He def likes me too and I think we're on for a second go.

Music man has sent me a lovely message - very keen to meet up and I can't quite believe it, he's not woo at all it seems . So hoping we can arrange to meet soonish.

Can I dare to hope that my dating luck is changing?

Broken - he sounds rubbish! What was he's favourite dessert any way? Lol

Well my mums friend tried calling me yesterday and today and text me last night saying I hope your ok!

I think I will call him tonight for a chat and say its all fine, I've calmed down now and it's all cool, now we just have to completely forget that it even happened!

Really I would rather not have to speak to him again but as he's my mums friend I can't do that as then it will be obvious what happened

rubbish I was thinking about your 'encounter' this morning.

Why would someone in their right mind, who's a mate of your DM's even mention they've been on a date with you AND THEY TOOK YOU HOME THE MORNING AFTER.

It's creepy and I don't think you need to placate him by telling him it's all fine. It isn't fine to tell your DM ANYTHING. It's especially not ok if you don't feel you want to speak to him again.

rubbish - you said earlier that it may have been your mum saying that he told her that? What do you think? If it was your mum fishing for info, then that's a bit odd, but then that's mums for you. If it was him, that's just odd and I'd avoid him.

Is this food test guy?

What about how you feel about some guy wanting to test you? Whether it's first or twenty first date, testing is NOT NICE.

to be fair, testing always happens. The first kiss, seeing if they're rude to the waitress, first time you have sex, meeting your friends or parents, or kids, and if they don't do well then they're probably for the heave.

Also, going to a movie, the ballet, a gig, and looking to see if the other person is enjoying it too, because you want to see if they like something you like. Any fledgling relationship has a series of conscious or unconscious tests to see whether they're right for you - it's just that it's not a case of 'Here is my Test, if you pass it, you may continue to try and impress me'

That approach is a bit control-freak-ish, I think.

Broken is this all the same guy you saw for a few weeks recently, the one who kept checking his watch on your first date? He sounds very odd but to be honest there's no point at all going over and over it. It won't change anything and it's just keeping things fresh in your mind and stopping you from recovering and getting back to normal. I honestly believe that keeping busy and a bit of distraction in whatever form you prefer can be really helpful in situations like this.

Both.

But who's questioning these things now? That's the issue for you, I think. Does it really need to be such hard work? I don't think so.

I agree with Wisey - from my time on the dating threads, I've seen people (including me) talk about men or women they've chatted to, some funny, some weird. Some of them they go on dates with, and sometimes - rarely, but it happens - they come back from a first date and are going 'he's lovely. just lovely'. Sometimes it takes a second date or third date. Sometimes they're worried that the guy isn't into them but usually it's obviously mutual.

Angst about why he did this, why he said that etc, is generally not a good sign that things are going to go well in the future. People may get worried that the person hasn't responded to a text, or hasn't mailed or called, and there is the occasional vanisher who seems to be pretty damn great and then just disappears for some reason.

But FoodGuy here seems to have a history of alienating people, deciding that things just aren't likely to work and testing you to see if you're ticking all the right boxes. I really don't see that as being a good sign. He's not trying too hard, he's trying to make you jump through his hoops and beg for scraps. You really deserve a lot better than that.

What was the dessert, incidentally? I went out with a girl once who didn't like chocolate. I love chocolate. She was funny and sweet and amazing in bed and clever and witty. Eventually we broke up because she moved countries (this was at uni) - but I didn't dump her because of the chocolate. That's just ridiculous, he's looking for excuses to dump you, possibly after sleeping with you, because he realised after all that 'we're not right for each other'.

Aka - I don't think he said that to my mum, I think as Bant said, it was my mum trying to find out information.

The reason I'm saying that I will say its all fine is just to keep things as normal as possible really I don't want my mum to know I slept with him.

But the truth is I am annoyed with him. He took me out for dinner encouraged me to drink (I didn't need much encouragement though) and brought me back to mine (even though he picked me up from my mums so I'm assuming he knew I should have been staying there). And in the morning when I was freaking out saying oh no this is really bad I can't believe this etc he said well you know you did stick your tongue down my throat then one thing lead to another.

But he was completely sober. I was extremely drunk and can't remember much atall (thank god) and as my mums 50 year old friend, I suppose I'm thinking it might have been a good idea for him to say this isn't a good idea. Good night and leave it at that. But I feel like that was his intentions to sleep with me!

Obviously I'm not trying to say its all his fault, I am an adult and decided to get myself drunk and out of pure hornyness I slept with him

rubbish - you are an adult, and you did decide to get drunk. However, he decided to stay sober, help you get drunk in order to sleep with you, and then blame it on you the next day. What a complete (I'm sorry, I swear occasionally on these threads, but..) what a complete cunt.

I have friends who are young enough to be my daughter, we socialise, we drink beer, I walk them home at the end of the evening. Sometimes they're trolleyed and get a bit frisky, and I make sure they're in their front door and safe home, then I go home alone. He completely took advantage of you here.

If I were you, I'd tell your mum 'yes, you're right, we went out for dinner, he got me paralytically drunk to the point of amnesia, whilst staying completely sober himself, then he drove me back to mine instead of yours and then slept with me. I regret it hugely, I'm horribly embarrassed and I could do with never seeing him again, okay?'

Although my mum probably wouldn't take it well, with the implied homoerotic angle and all, in my case.

Bant - everything you said is how I feel, apart from telling my mum. I feel too embarrassed to tell my mum.

And let's be honest he was out of order, but its not the first time I've got myself into odd situations, Im defiantly no angle!

I'm starting to think that unless I'm sleeping with someone that is unsuitable or unavailable emotionally etc then I'm not interested.

Back from my first date with supermarket buyer man. Pub was empty which was weird, but he was lovely, we seem to hit it off. My only slight reservation is he is something completely different to what I normally go for.

We have plans to go out next Sunday evening.

Poffed - how long have you been going on proper dates? Did you tell him you had deleted your profile? If so, what was his response?

Hi all, update from me but first AKA, I pusses myself laughing at martial arts man :) I went on a date on Saturday night, had 3 glasses of wine and felt really self consciously pissed. I don't usually do alcohol on a first date. Anyway, he missed his train and got I suggested he should stay at mine, he said not on first date (thank god for that or I would have been mortified the next day, although I still feel mortified that I suggested it). He snogged the face off me and when I got home I realised my red lipstick was smudged all over my face!!!!!! Oh the shame, the shame. I feel so embarrassed. Anyway, he did text the next day but he hasn't asked to see me again so I'm not feeling hopeful. Oh well, what will be. I do wonder if I sabotaged this one.

*^pissed not pusses :)