The Dating Thread 64

[unBant]

Here we go again...

Arf at wisey. Envy at tall and tattooed. *dreams of crush man....

Re the ex setting up the date - I popped in to see the ex about something during the week at a pub near his work (only see him once every three years or so, we split in 08 after living together for 5 years) and this other guy was there so we chatted. Anyway, the ex then sends a text saying he's heard other guy is keen, should he pass my number? I say what the hell, do it, but then ex sets up a kind of 'text-conference' with 'X meet Y' and both our numbers so he may have bungled it anyway!

Good luck to all with dates this weekend, or hoping to set up some dates...

Hi all. I'm feeling a bit miserable about online dating, after an odd experience. Starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me!

Dontcallmehun, what happened? I can almost without doubt guarantee you 100% it won't be you.

Dontcallme I read your other thread. I really don't think you should be feeling miserable. It was one guy, you clocked it early. No offence but you'll need ten more incidents like that before you're allowed to be all woe is me.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1864039-love-at-first-sight
This was my thread. I know, alittlestranger - but I do hope I don't have to go through this 10 more times....

Hey everyone

I just can't seem to get anyone normal to speak to on Pof

One guy I spoke to tonight told me he lives in two separate areas I ask why and he replied I just do

I'm finding it hard to have a conversation with some one that replies like that.

I desperately need someone for some action. Should I just message loads of guys on Pof and hope for a couple of responses??

I read your thread Dontcallme n yes u'll prob meet few more sharks before you get your salmon

Hi is the common opinion that POF is full of weirdo men? And so do I need to pay for a proper site like MATCH or eHarmony?

Also with no job as yet and still not fucking well divorced, its been 20mths, I feel as though I have nothing much to talk about to a guy but my boring and frustrating life. Should I hold off dating till I have a job and am divorced. Am so lonely and bored.

I joined match, zoosk and pof and found pof to be the best for the better looking men but that just my opinion of course

Hi, may I join you? Long time lurker.

Shy and Rubbish I've been on POF a few months now and think there are some okay guys on there. You just have to be careful about how you market yourself - nice photo, nothing tacky in your profile and send messages to guys who are saying nice stuff in their profiles. Don't bother replying to the ones who message saying Wanna chat? or whatever. I'm on Match as well and don't find it any better than POF.

If any red flags appear while you're messaging, just disappear - you owe them nothing. And remember, you're the prize

Pauline that's the best way of looking at it. Very hard though when you like someone then find out they are a fucking fruit loop

You're right Flo some of the twunts get through the radar bastards

I just don't get why people can't say what they mean and mean what they say.

They are the one's not worthy of your time Flo. Move on. Next!

Indeed, just feeling disheartened by it all now.

Okay, my turn for advice and guidance.

I'm 50 ish, thick skinned and believe I'm very in control about OD may be delusional, though

Anyway, I've met 3 men via OD who I like - just had 2/3 coffee/drinks dates with each of them - all seemingly decent sorts. All talked in terms of wanting a relationship / finding that special someone etc, which perhaps is what they thought I wanted to hear.

I'd like to continue to see all of them greedy, I know and see what happens. Ideally I'd like to keep them all as friends, so long as they don't morph into prats, and perhaps have a FWB relationship with one of them - but this is all in the distant future - they will need to impress me first. I've been very open with them about continuing to see other people and I presume they are too. Also realise I may lose one or all along the way, but this seems the right path for me at this time.

Its just feeling rather odd as I've never juggled more than one man at a time never had the opportunity but I'm wanting the male company without the "relationship".

What do you think? Have any of you been in this situation? Or is this just typically how OD is?

Well I went out for drinks with a friend on the weekend told her some of my dating stories and said omg you have massive commitment issues and she is so right. I often wonder why I can't seem to get into a relationship with a decent guy and that's why.

So my question is how do u move forward from here?

Pauline - I've never been in that situation as I never seem to like any of my online dates.

Alot of the guys I've met want to date and not to be friends so I doubt thu would hang around too long if I said let's be friends. But if you go for the friends with benefits I bet all three would hang around

Pauline, sounds like what you're after is 'nothing serious' - sounds good to me. All the fun without the drama part of a relationship.

I think you can continue to see them all until one or more bring up the 'exclusive' convo - I believe that's how it works with OD, someone correct me if I'm wrong.

rubbish It did occur to me that they'd all be up for the FWB role

About you moving forward - maybe you need to forget about getting into a relationship and focus on just dating, and only with nice guys. Could you avoid the type you're usually attracted to and give the others a chance? The ones that you're not instantly attracted to might be nice and kind and not fuck up your head

nice I've not had one of those exclusive convos yet - must steer them away from that for now

All the men I meet seem to just want sex, not a relationship. My ex helpfully suggested it is because I take too much care of my appearance and so it attracts the wrong type! I certainly don't put revealing photos on there, so I don't get what he means!

I agree until the exclusive conversation is had then it's all fair....I'd generally expect somewhere between dates 3-5 to be sussing out where something could go, but I'd also be taking what people were saying at face value (ie if they're saying they are looking for a special someone I'd believe them and not think they were just saying what they thought I wanted to hear). But maybe that's just naive of me :-) I also don't really get the whole 'let's be friends' if you've been on a date or two and there's not the romantic spark....unless we had a hobby in common or something I guess.

Well my update....never heard from my Tuesday night date, and I forgot to text on Friday and now it seems a bit passed the point! I have another first date tonight with someone I'm a little bit excited about cos he seems really, really nice. Only problem is, I am suffering a stonking hangover right now after going out for a work colleague's birthday, ended up dancing with their housemate until the club closed, the housemate bought me chips, walked me to my nightbus and had a cheeky cuddle and a little kiss! Told him to get my number from colleague. Am getting into the swing of enjoying this dating thing :-) lots of orange juice, bacon and sofa this afternoon to recover for tonight!

I have a question for everyone; when sending an initial hello message on a dating site, what's your tactics?

I struggle with first posts but tend to say hi how are you, lovely profile, terrible weather... Might explain my lack of success... Comments on specifics in someone's profile seem not to draw responses

I never initiate messages at all - I wait for them to make the first contact. I never seem to get to date 3!