14 year old with 25 year old

[mewmeow]

Just wanted people's perspectives really, we're not talking about my child (thank feck!). Rather it was me when I was younger. Bumped into the person yesterday and was civil but obviously a bit pissed because I feel it probably had negative conatations for me. But my mate went absolutely ape shouting 'peado' etc (she was my best mate back when we were together so knew the situation). I realise it was probably a bit of an explotative relationship because of the age gap, but as we were both essentially adults I don't think the pedo label is really appropriate. Just wondered people's perspectives, what reaction was justified mine or hers?

Hm, not sure really. I feel a bit sick thinking about it, the places we had sex in (grotty), the realtionship as a whole. He ended it basically by not getting in touch anymore after endless texts, phone calls, I love you's, planning a family and stuff together. So I think partly it's just the realationship as a whole. But in hindsight the age is a massive contributor to that because it allowed me to be taken advantage of more easily.

Paedophilia is the sexual attraction to teenagers. Being attracted to teenagers is called ephebophilia. If they're under the age of consent, it's still wrong.

A 14-year-old can look sexually mature. It's not deviant to find a girl of that age attractive in the same way it is to feel desire towards an 8-year-old child. However, there is no excuse for acting on that attraction because that 14-year-old is still a child, no matter how much she behaves in an adult fashion.

Massive slip up there. Should obviously read:

Paedophilia is the sexual attraction to children. Being attracted to teenagers is called ephebophilia.

Cogito "When you say 'negative connotations' OP, do you mean that you felt you were exploited or is it the same negativity you'd feel towards any ex that you didn't care for? I suppose what I'm getting at is whether you feel damaged by the experience or not."

I didn't feel damaged by what happened to me when i was 23, i was probably still infatuated with the bastard But believe me, i WAS damaged!

At 14, my nickname was "Sammy" because i bore a striking resemblance to samantha fox! That does not make it right that a 32 year old man put his cock in my mouth.

But then maybe i was a prick teasing little slapper who should have acted my age - this thread is proving extremely triggering for me :(

Sorry didn't mean to kill the thread :(

I agree with curlew in that your friend's reaction was understandable, but not acceptable.

:( I'm so sorry Lem! Didn't mean to bring up all this shit for you. It's fucking awful. I'm sure you've made a a good life for yourself though, despite this horrible fucked up situation.

No LEM you were not a prick tease (I hate that expression) you were a vulnerable young girl who was taken advantage of. ((big hugs)) hope you and others who were in the same situation get the help you need to get over being totally taken advantage of.

I have a daughter who is 13, next year she will be 14, she is a child now and will be still a child until she is over 17. I would literally kill any man that wanted to be with her between 13 and 17. I don't care how unreasonable that sounds but it is wrong that a full grown adult wants to be with a teen. Makes my skin craw.

Meowmeow, the same goes for you, you were a vulnerable child who was taken advantage of. Yes your friend did over react somewhat but the fact remains this man took advantage of your inexperience and naivety and that is very sad.

Paedophilia is the sexual attraction to children. Being attracted to teenagers is called ephebophilia.

Potato Patato... I don't care, it's inappropriate at best for an adult man to want to be with a child or a teen.

Don't apologise mew - there are just a few posts on here that have made me question myself is all.

Actually, there are situations, i am sure where an older man could be with a younger girl but he MUST respect the age of consent, its there for a reason. Its these bastards like the guy you are referring to who take adavantage and think they are gods fucking gift because they can get a young girl into bed that are the cunts. Whats the matter with them, too inadequate for women their own age???

What highbrows said!

That's it exactly LEM these 'men' are far to inadequate to be with an equal.

I really am sorry for anyone who has been taken of advantage like this it so sad.

HighBrows - I agree. I thought the OP may find it useful to know the definition though, from her comment:

I always imagine someone abusing innocent children when I think of a peadophile, like a 10 year old.

It explains why she feels it is different, because it is. It is just as wrong though, which I also said.

For fucks sake.

Neither of the two relationships I had, one of which I AM STILL IN after nearly 13 years was exploitative.

Yes some girls are groomed and abused not ALL of them are.

I am hugely offended at the opinions of some people on here suggesting my marriage is somehow wrong due to our ages at the beginning.

My husband is a hard working wonderful man who is devoted to me and the children, he has never cheated on me which judging by the relationship board is a rare thing. Yet here he is made out to be some sort of deviant monster because he happened to fancy me when I was 17.

you were 17 what is your problem?

are teenagers not innocent then?

I'm talking about anything under 17, however I would question a man who is well into his 20's having anything in common with a 17 year old. The same goes for a man of 23 and a 15 year old child.

There's a massive difference between 17 and 14. The main one being the age of consent.

What an appalling post thecockyfoxreturns, you go right ahead and be an apologist for deviants and pervs..

I've reported that post.

Your friend sounds a bit unhinged, unless you told her that you were abused by him or something.