In many ways my ex is a very good ex. He pays child support, on the dot, every time, he takes huge interest in the dc and is reliable about pick ups and drop offs.
The children are 6 & 10, and spend 2 nights a week with him.
Last night I got a call from my dd holed up in a bedroom saying "Dad is going crazy, yelling and hitting." I said I'd pick her up and asked her to pass the phone to her dad, he was able to contain himself enough to say "OK" when I said I was going to pick her up.
When I got there she was at the door waiting, then the younger one came flying out, howling at the top of his lungs. (I had assumed he would be in bed asleep.) He climbed into the car and I told him to buckle up and close his door.
My ex stood there looking very grim but didn't say anything.
Took the kids home, calmed them down & put them to bed.
Later I got a text from ex saying he was sorry, he'd lost it and had hit them both and that he thinks it might be better for them with him out of their lives.
This has happened countless times before with the exception of the remorseful text.
I am unsure what to do. I have toyed with phoning police about his violence towards them, with doing nothing, with resigning myself to the fact that he's a lost cause and to get on with our lives without him, and with trying to talk sense into him.
I am trying to work out what will be the least damaging way forward for the children and I'm not sure that no contact is the answer. Surely this will cause terrible grief and issues of rejection?
His own father was an alcoholic who shut himself away and did not speak to anyone for years. My ex carries a lot of grief about that. His insight into his own behaviour, however, is nil. One day he'll be knee deep in remorse and self pity, the next he'll be blaming the children.
I would really appreciate some advice. Thank you for reading this.