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Original poster

"Stupid Shit Cheaters Say"

132 replies

Bogeyface · 17/09/2013 19:16

Inspired by reading this on Chumplady.....

Hows this…. “I never thought you trusted me, so I had an affair to prove you never trusted me. See! I was right!” This is the explanation I got.

Yup, there’s something about cheating that seems to bring on sudden mental retardation. How can someone even SAY that with a straight face?

My personal favourite from my cheater was “I am not in a place where I feel comfortable talking about this yet. You need to wait until I am ready, this has been so traumatic.” I posted it on CL, and I am still to this day amazed that he ever had the gall to say it.

OP posts:
Viking1 · 17/09/2013 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Agnesboo · 17/09/2013 19:34

"I was in a bad place and just couldn't deal with life anymore, I think I had some sort of nervous breakdown and didnt know where my head was at. I didn't even mean it"

So you had a breakdown and accidentally put your cock in someone else while I was at home Pregnant with other dc and the death of a relative to deal with? Good job I held it together to deal with life while you had your fun eh?

Agnesboo · 17/09/2013 19:35

*pregnant and with older dc.

StupidMistakes · 17/09/2013 19:37

"it was your fault, you were always indoors waiting for me to come home" errr yeah that's sorta what wives do you know

jellycake · 17/09/2013 19:38

'You didn't trust me and you kept on wanting to see my messages so i got another phone so that I could text the whore charming woman on it.'

Wasn't so clever as to hide said phone. I was sitting on the sofa on XP's discarded jogging bottoms when they vibrated, his phone ws sitting in the kitchen Grin it was 8 years ago, I can laugh at it now!

holstenlips · 17/09/2013 19:43

Just had "it wasnt me...it was a different me..that doesnt exist anymore" What? Since last Saturday??

Daisypops · 17/09/2013 19:46

My ex always said 'can't remember'

Twat

StupidMistakes · 17/09/2013 19:51

And my favourite one yet "its not like I fucked them" well erm no so you say not but everything else other than fucking them. And oh yeah "you knew all three of them" that's ok with me. I'm glad I divorced the twunt

RippingYarns · 17/09/2013 19:51

you made it so easy for me

yeah, i minded YOUR (not OURs) kids while you fucked her

TalkativeJim · 17/09/2013 19:52

Sort of posted on this earlier.

The classic - 'it was a mistake'.

How so? Really, have a sit and a think about what the word 'mistake' usually means in the English language. Because conducting a secret betrayal isn't it.

I suppose it translates as 'I'm kind of sorry I did it now I've been caught. Because what I planned was to be able to cheat on you, have extra fun and sex, and for you not to find out. Now it looks as if taking that risk was a mistake, because I've been rumbled.

Choosing to cheat isn't an accident.
It isn't something you didn't quite realise was wrong until later.
It is never the case that it was something you did without realising, kind of the sex happened to you before you even realised it...

No mistakes, just cold, conniving decisions that it's WORTH betraying your partner, for sex with someone new. No mistakes.

BellEndTent · 17/09/2013 19:52

"I can't remember" Hmm

ALadyHippo · 17/09/2013 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

farrowandbawl · 17/09/2013 20:17

"I made the wrong decision"

No fucking shit Sherlock. Live with it.

McBuckers · 17/09/2013 20:28

My STBXH after sleeping with me:
"Oh my God what have I done? I've cheated on X (ow), she'll never forgive me for this"

On discussing divorce:
"I've done nothing wrong, all I've done is fall in love"

And
"I've played this by the book"

When I told him to fuck off:
"We can make this work - I'll stay with her on week nights and come back here at the weekends"

mammadiggingdeep · 17/09/2013 20:49

Mcbuckers.....he did not say that!!!! Shocker!!!! Was serious bout week/weekend?! My jaw just hit the floor!!!!!

farrowandbawl · 17/09/2013 20:54
Shock
BelleDameSansMerci · 17/09/2013 20:59

My favourite, discussing how it started, "It was a very stressful time - you were so ill." Yeah, so ill that we didn't see you for two fucking weeks and my mum had to come and look after me and DD's nursery picked her up and retuned her every day until I could drive again...

The others include:

"I think I had a bit of a breakdown."
"I don't know how it happened."

And then, when I'd started seeing lovely, lovely DP: "I've made a mistake. Do you think we could make a go of it."

TWAT.

GetStuffezd · 17/09/2013 21:01

"You weren't supposed to find out, in my defence."

You stupid FUCK!

Cabrinha · 17/09/2013 21:04

All I ever got in explanation for the prostitutes - and bear in mind this was when he was minimising, so he only looked or booked but didn't go through with it (riiiiiiight) was "I don't know why I did it". I kinda wish the arsehole had the wit and imagination that some of yours show!

mumonline65 · 17/09/2013 21:21

My XH said....

"I didn't want to give up seeing in case our marriage didn't work out"

Duh

mumonline65 · 17/09/2013 21:22

My XH said....

"I didn't want to give up seeing xxxx in case our marriage didn't work out"

Duh

Original poster
Bogeyface · 17/09/2013 21:25

McBuckers I think you win. You know, I am almost impressed at his chutzpah at trying to turn his wife into the OW while living with the OW! That is a whole new level of fucked up.

OP posts:
flippingebay · 17/09/2013 21:27

I can't remember

It was an ego boost Hmm

McBuckers · 17/09/2013 21:28

Yes Mamma he was serious! I had to get his parents to make him see how ridiculous the idea was.

schooldays · 17/09/2013 21:30

wow the one about "i made a wrong decision" must be just out of a text book liars handbook. my exh never said it about cheating but about lots of lies; like a gormless fool - like he was an innocent bystander... f8cing men!!!!!!!!