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Original poster

"Stupid Shit Cheaters Say"

132 replies

Bogeyface · 17/09/2013 19:16

Inspired by reading this on Chumplady.....

Hows this…. “I never thought you trusted me, so I had an affair to prove you never trusted me. See! I was right!” This is the explanation I got.

Yup, there’s something about cheating that seems to bring on sudden mental retardation. How can someone even SAY that with a straight face?

My personal favourite from my cheater was “I am not in a place where I feel comfortable talking about this yet. You need to wait until I am ready, this has been so traumatic.” I posted it on CL, and I am still to this day amazed that he ever had the gall to say it.

OP posts:
farrowandbawl · 17/09/2013 21:33

Schooldays. That in itself is bad enough, but to use that excuse nearly 4 years LATER as part of a so called apology is taking the piss.

Ezio · 17/09/2013 21:37

Buckers, i hope you laughed in that fucknuggets face and told him to fuck right off.

I got the "I was confused" and "My exes never let me have female friends"

Well there was a good fucking reason for that, fuckface!!

3mum · 17/09/2013 21:38

I got "I felt I was entitled to have affairs because I was so successful at work" (we did exactly the same job for a long time - funny how I never saw it that way) and more recently (we are in the middle of our divorce) "you were always my soulmate you know" (I was too flabbergasted to reply to this one other than to say "I don't think so" when what I should have said was "you have a darn funny way of showing it" - he is living with his OW and he doesn't want to get back together, it's just a total headfuck). Why on earth did I ever think I loved this man?

Ezio · 17/09/2013 21:41

3, just live in the knowledge to say to yourself one day "Not surprised" When he treats OW that way.

Self-Entitled Shitwaffle!!!

SugarMouse1 · 18/09/2013 02:39

He said he always intended to cheat, because someone cheated on him once, so he just believed in cheating per se.

He only told me this AFTER we'd been in a relationship for 2 years.

Fucked up total loser.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/09/2013 04:49

My knight in shining armor had the gall to tell me, 5 months after our marriage broke up that it was too soon for me to be seeing someone else. Turns out he had been seeing his GF for two months BEFORE we broke up. Too soon? Just a little.

charitymum · 18/09/2013 06:07

sorry

akaWisey · 18/09/2013 06:43

"xxxxx is like a sister to me and you're trying to control me".

Then, after our divorce and he's into second OW (his soul mate):

"Finally got rid of xxxxx".

Offred · 18/09/2013 06:53

When he brought one OW to our home after being out drinking with her in a club while I was pregnant "her boyfriend has kicked her out and she has nowhere to go so I said she could stay here" yes, wonder why she was kicked out and where she will go now?

pinkbear82 · 18/09/2013 07:03

' I need to find myself'

Well, good luck with that. And next time, while your exploring, don't do it in our bed when I've been away over night and come home to the never used bolts on the front door and her car outside.... Course she was just passing. I believe you millions wouldn't

LovesPeace · 18/09/2013 07:15

My ex said that it wasn't his fault - he was a 'psychopath'.

I sat looking at him for a minute or two (in disbelief) then said 'No, you're just a twat' and laughed.

Cue instant door-slamming flounciness.

cuillereasoupe · 18/09/2013 08:03

I know just married the OW but it's a trial run and if it doesn't work out we can still get back together, and we'll still lend you the car when you need it Shock

Snugglepiggy · 18/09/2013 08:11

Not what DH said but OW - I know stupid of me to talk to her and expect to find peace of mind - 'when I sent a text to say how much I wanted to give him a BJ it was just a euphemism for see you tomorrow.'How I didn't slap her at that point after the other crap she came out with I will never know.

Ezio · 18/09/2013 08:24

Cull, that is amazing, a trial run indeed, getting married is a trial run, yeah ok, talk about trying to keep you dangling.

cuillereasoupe · 18/09/2013 08:28

He actually married her (abroad, she needed a visa) without telling me while we were still officially reconciling. His mum told me a couple of days later.

Ezio · 18/09/2013 08:35

Oh thats lovely of him Cull, bet your just devastated you lost such a lovely man.

What a wankbadger.

DownstairsMixUp · 18/09/2013 08:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

saferniche · 18/09/2013 08:40

After expressing my distaste/anguish:
'You are trying to control what I think and what I feel,'

BopsX3 · 18/09/2013 08:42

"You were always accusing me of cheating so I thought I might aswell go and do what I was actually being accused of" Hmm

First time, I found messages on his phone by accident, asked him about it but have him the benefit of the doubt (I'm an idiot!). Never really trusted him again properly so yes, I was accusing him of cheating.

Turns out he'd cheated on me with 9 different women and has a son who is only 4 months younger than my DS who is also his.

Fun times! Hmm

headsspinningforachange · 18/09/2013 08:44

Some most of these are astonishing Shock

SlangKing · 18/09/2013 08:47

"It was your fault. You were always indoors waiting for me to come home." - That's already made my day and it's not even 9am yet.

PuddingAndHotMilk · 18/09/2013 08:56

My XP corrected me on the pronunciation of her name when I challenged him and then denied any wrong doing cos they I only met twice a week and never fucked but she did sleep with him in our bed when I was away with work. No piv made it ok, apparently Confused

mrsspagbol · 18/09/2013 09:02

This one is the best:

"My ex said that it wasn't his fault - he was a 'psychopath'."

Oh ok then!!!!

Hmm
Ezio · 18/09/2013 09:03

It was your fault. You were always indoors waiting for me to come home

That has got to be the dumbest excuse ever!!!!

Ledkr · 18/09/2013 09:10

"Lots of men have affairs and their wives forgive them! You just want to be a single parent cos it's trendy"

HILARIOUS

"Can we meet up to talk?" Hmm

"You wouldn't let me smoke weed in the house"

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