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Original poster

"Stupid Shit Cheaters Say"

132 replies

Bogeyface · 17/09/2013 19:16

Inspired by reading this on Chumplady.....

Hows this…. “I never thought you trusted me, so I had an affair to prove you never trusted me. See! I was right!” This is the explanation I got.

Yup, there’s something about cheating that seems to bring on sudden mental retardation. How can someone even SAY that with a straight face?

My personal favourite from my cheater was “I am not in a place where I feel comfortable talking about this yet. You need to wait until I am ready, this has been so traumatic.” I posted it on CL, and I am still to this day amazed that he ever had the gall to say it.

OP posts:
Offred · 18/09/2013 09:37

Some of these are ridiculous!

Offred · 18/09/2013 09:37

Idiots...

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/09/2013 13:18

When we had a crack at reconciliation I was told 'she's nowhere near as good at sex as you'... Hmm Have occasionally wondered, in a vindictive moment after a Wine or two, if I should pass this revelation on to the OW (now DW)...

ofmiceandmen · 18/09/2013 13:24

"I didn't even enjoy it, I was faked an orgasm" ... followed by
"he means nothing, he thought it was good sex he's nothing" Hmm

gotta love em

Footballaddict · 18/09/2013 14:31

Ezio - at least you got some sort of crap reason as to what exactly you had supposedly done to make it your fault!

I got at regularly told throughout our attempted reconciliation that

"it was your fault - you made me do it"
about his having contacted his ex, and starting an affair.

He never actually managed to give me a concrete fact about what exactly I did to "make" him do it.

In order to show that he fully understood the impact of what he had done and how he could work to improve things in future:

"I realise that I'll have to make sure I come straight home and don't go to the pub after work for a few months".

And, when that impressive sacrifice was failing to help us reconcile:

"You said that you wanted to make this work. You LIED to me/misled me/kept me with you under false pretences"

Ezio · 18/09/2013 14:40

Thing is Football i didnt mind im having female friends, i had no reason to be jealous, but i suspect his inappropriate behaviour with OW is why his exes didnt one that one particular friend hanging about.

Xales · 18/09/2013 14:54

Guy at work asked for compassionate leave as he was moving out of the family home and in with the tart he was seeing for 6 months or so that his wife and family still don't know about...

Not quite the same but Shock

flippingebay · 18/09/2013 14:56

I couldn't cum! Shock

Oh that's ok, makes it all alright then.. Fuckwhit

hellsbellsmelons · 18/09/2013 14:59

OMG at some of these. Some men really are unbelievable.

When trying to reconcile and him finishing with OW, I asked what he had told her and he had said 'I have duty to Melons and DD'

Well that ended it all for him and me that's for sure. Duty indeed - arsehole!

SvetlanaKirilenko · 18/09/2013 14:59

"This is really hard for me, I've been very upset too, it's not just about you!"

When my friends rallied round after I found out about ex's serial-shagging...

moonfacebaby · 18/09/2013 18:02

Such a bunch of twats...

My exH said "I didn't see it as an affair, just an extension of my other life in (town where he worked)'...

Whilst I was questioning whether he was having an affair, and he was denying anything other than doubting his feelings towards me, I posted on MN. The cheeky fucker actually posted on my thread, telling me not to listen to all the bitter women on here & gave lots of advice about what I should do.

I had - to begin with - I was bored etc....of course, eventually it was all my fault he'd had the affair. Even now, as the divorce is going on, it's still my fault...

During the whole hideous process, I kept pointing out that if he was so unhappy, why did he have another baby (she was 4 m

Hamwidgeandcheps · 18/09/2013 18:05

It didn't count because I took off my wedding ring. Yes really

moonfacebaby · 18/09/2013 18:09

Oops- wrong button...

Baby was 4 months old when he started the affair. Beautiful Xmas cards 6 weeks before he had the affair, amazing birthday gesture for me - all of his lovely stuff was because he was trying to boost our relationship, apparently!!

He really scraped the barrel at times - moaning about having to do some shopping at weekends. He worked away during the week - no responsibilities - whilst I looked after the house & our 2 kids (one a newborn).

He even had the audacity to say my face looked weird when I'd been depressed in the past (after a few miscarriages). His needs weren't being met - mine at times weren't either, but I didn't shag someone else. Oh, & he thought I'd been unfaithful years ago (I hadn't).

He did me a favour with his affair - made me realise what a twat he was & now his life is "very depressing" according to him. Diddums...

superdooperpenguin · 18/09/2013 18:34

This thread is funny, my heart just bleeds for these poor men!

I got cheated on because it wasn't fair that it took longer for me to orgasm than him, meaning I got more of the attention in bed. If only he could have lasted longer than 2 minutes perhaps we'd still be married Wink

str8tothepoint · 18/09/2013 19:04

this thread is so funny cos all the shit the cheaters tell their partners as above but still they choose to take them back and 'forgive'

Justconfused · 18/09/2013 20:15

I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. You weren't meant to find out

As I was recovering from cancer treatment at the time he used the excuse - you were over the cancer but I wasn't

Men are different to women .. I just used her

What a charmer eh ?!

Blondeorbrunette · 18/09/2013 20:40

Justconfused-i am speechless.

educationforlife · 18/09/2013 21:05

'How dare you read things which talk about 'victims' of betrayal! I am the victim here' Confused

Cjilly · 18/09/2013 21:07

when DH cheated on me when we were at uni "Who's xxxx? you slept with her didn't you?"
him: only because I missed you and you were so far away. I did call out your name!

moonfacebaby · 18/09/2013 21:27

It's amazing how many of these pathetic men blame the people they cheated on.....

Weak, spineless, entitled & lacking in any emotional intelligence at all.

Redflagcatcher · 18/09/2013 21:35

Found about xh affair 2 days after our wedding....we already had dc, house and been together 8 years......
"I wasn't going to cheat on you after we were married"
"It was cold feet" (after 8 years)
"I was depressed"

And when asked why he decided to have unprotected sex with ow....
"She just jumped on me.....I couldn't say no....I felt raped"
Twunt.

Ragusa · 18/09/2013 21:51

"ah you know, though, we're both flawed people, you and me". Knobber. Thankfully he lives on the other side of the world now :)

Ragusa · 18/09/2013 21:55

i.e., "you're not perfect and so I was entitled. And ydon't get any ideas about being upset - I'm the best you'll ever get".

Some of these on here though make me want to scream with laughter and cry at the same time Grin

Original poster
Bogeyface · 18/09/2013 21:55

Ragusa reply should have been "Yes, you thought you were great and so did I and we were both wrong"

OP posts:
BornToFolk · 18/09/2013 22:02

"We tried to stop but we just couldn't"

Yeah, well try harder, fuckwit. Hmm