Dating Thread 63- disappearers, wedding bells and dodgy eye candy, all are welcome

[hostesswithleastest]

Oops that title may have put off newcomers :D

Anyway.... the old thread is dead long live the new!

[Flojobunny]

I broke all the rules especially the isn't real unless it happens and don't invest too soon. Why do I get lied too? What is it about me that seems to attract men that don't have a single sincere bone in their body?
Given up on dating, not thick skinned enough.

[OhWesternWind]

No, Internet dating isn't rubbish and unlikely to work Broken. There are a lot of success stories on this thread, but we've all been through some ups and downs, had some disappointments and let downs and just plain odd dates to get where we are now.

I dated around twenty men before finding the lovely Alpha, and out of them I had a six/seven month relationship and two short flings. These men weren't right for me, and I wasn't right for them, but it's just a question of carrying on, enjoying getting out there on dates and sooner or later someone right will come along.

Having said that, if you're feeling low and might take any disappointing dates to heart, it's not the right time to be doing OD as it can be a bit wearing to meet man after man who's not quite right.

[akaWisey]

I think it's a fine line between remembering that it's more important that WE like THEM before we worry about whether THEY like US, and throwing caution to the wind.

I don't think OD is no better or worse than meeting someone in a bar or through friends. It's different, that's for sure but I'd say it's never a good idea to invest too much too soon. Of course if we fall for someone who doesn't feel the same or who does initially then changes their mind it's hard and it hurts. But dating should not be the be all and end all, should it? It should be one aspect of our lives that we're following. That way there's something else to fall back on when disappointment strikes and equally if someone nice comes along who clicks for real then dating enriches what we already have.

For me there are days when I can't be arsed with it and days when I can. Broken maybe as OWW suggests, the time isn't right for you. Maybe the time will be better when you don't feel so rejected.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Have second date today with Chef. He is cooking

Lots of lovely chats in between, he seems really normal which I'm not used to. Have googled, checked Facebook etc. he is keen but not overpowering.

Too good to be true? And I am checking in with friends for safety, they have the address and so on.

How's everyone getting on?

[Hamwidgeandcheps]

Aww od isn't rubbish. The hot scot wasn't right for me but he was very nice and gentlemanly and quite genuine as far as I could see

[akaWisey]

Luis has he cooked for you yet?

Ham I love a man with an accent. It's all in the voice for me (well and other stuff obvs).

I've still got a Sat evening dinner and cinema date (Woody Allen's new film after an Indian) with phd man and Sunday lunch with Whitehall man. I've been in message contact with essex man today who has suggested coffee. I fancy him from his photo and profile so he's prob a wrong 'un!!!!

[Flojobunny]

Broken I am glad its not just me then. I think I'll give dating a swerve for now and focus on me and the kids.
Thought I met someone special. He seemed very full on and at first I was wary but then I let the barrier down and dared to dream that he could be different and special then the cracks started to show and odd behaviours started to happen and when I challenged him on something not adding up, he text me saying he didn't want to see me again and when I went to reply that he was over reacting, my text bounced back, he blocked me. Totally out the blue. So cross cos he saw the kids, and told them he'd see them tomorrow. So I will be left explaining. From now on no more dating til they are adults.

[akaWisey]

Yep, he was a wrong 'un - disappeared as quickly as he appeared!! I'm well impressed with my spidey senses, I am .

[Hamwidgeandcheps]

Wisey I am jel about the woody Allen/curry date that's what I want!

[akaWisey]

I shall submit a full and frank review of both food and film. Oh and the guy of course!

[ladygoingGaga]

luis do we get a loo update hopefully the food and company is great.
I have arranged a third date with fireman on Friday, lunch and a walk. We exchange texts every evening and he seems very normal. Might just be a grower, will see!

Been chatting to another on match businessman, on his profile he has put his earnings down as £75k plus. Generally the profiles I have read don't put this kind of information on there, and I certainly don't.

What are your thoughts?? Would you?

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Who puts their salary on a dating profile? Def tick in the negative column surely!

What kind of timescale do people think is acceptable for chatting to turn into a date....I'm feeling a bit odd, as I have 2 first-dates lined up but because of other commitments I'm now not free to see anyone for nearly 2 weeks....so I shouldn't really start chatting with anyone else right, because if they say do I fancy going for a drink, yes how about 2 weeks on Thursday really is a bit of an odd response?

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Oh and I texted the nice guy yesterday.....no reply so far :-(

[MsBlouseyBrown]

Luis, hope it's going well.
I cancelled the camp builder and gave him the choice of an alternative evening to show me how he'd make someone a lovely bitch. And he flaming well disappeared!! Oh well. Clearly, he wasn't relationship material but it was an entertaining flirtation nonetheless.
The reason I cancelled was because I went out for a nosh-up with one of very best friends who I love dearly. He's my ex who I went out with for 2 years. We met on Match so I am can vouch for the fact that online dating is definitely not rubbish.
I'm currently messaging 2 or 3 others, the most promising of which is a solicitor. Makes a change from builders. ID sites seem awash with builders IMO.

[MsBlouseyBrown]

Yes. I agree about the salary thing as it smacks of bragging.
I wish texting had never been invented. I'd put it in Rm 101.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Just got home! Fabulous meal had a lovely time.
Good points: good cook, gentleman, complimentary, easygoing and definite chemistry. No dysfunctional family relationships as far as I can see

Bad points: lives over an hour away, his dog tried to hump me, a little shorter than I like. Bathroom a bit minging.

Told me he could fall in love with me so where does that one fit?

Flojo - what were the odd behaviours?

[akaWisey]

Advertising one's salary is naff IMO. I just think it's a bit vulgar.

Oneday I'd say it's fine to be arranging a date two weeks hence, life gets in the way sometimes and your potential date should be able to acknowledge that. Plus if you get cancellations, you can always bring it forward .

Luis sounds great except for the randy hound and the minging bathroom . How many dates in is this? He could fall in love with you is something I've had said before and it's one of those vague statements which can get you betting on potential if you're not careful. How do you feel about him?

I spent some of the evening chatting to phd guy number two and a chap whose photo has mysteriously disappeared this morning after he has asked to meet up. So he'll be after some fishy malarky then.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Second date Wisey. I like him a lot but I'm being quite detached at the moment.

Some sites ask for a salary bracket don't they? Although stating an actual amount seems off.

Chef told me his first date was with a woman who whipped out a list of questions such as how much do you earn? How much is your house worth, are you willing to be the sole earner so that I can stay at home.

[akaWisey]

essex man is back saying he'll come down my neck of the woods for coffee next week . With my sceptical head on I think he may be doing that window shopping thing.

Have messaged mystery photo disappearance man and asked outright if he's attached.

Luis that's the way to do it, holding something back until you're more certain. at date who asked about salaries etc. I don't think it's rude to (politely) enquire about a chap's circs because you kind of need to know they're self supporting- but a list of questions!!!

[Takingnoprisoners]

Been lurking and reading with interest and thought I would join in. The thing is as a woman in my 40s I don't have any other single friends so don't really have anyone to share all this with - so finding this is really great.
I have been online dating a little while, had a relationship that lasted 15 months that started online - this ended in the summer. When I went back to the sites I had used before there were quite a few of the same blokes on there which surprised me, are they players, not very nice or just very unlucky?!
Anyway chatting to a couple of guys on POF and one wants to meet but isn't very local and doesn't have a job and so not got a car at the moment and wants to postpone which Iam a bit meh about. The other also wants to meetup so we will I think - he seems nice but not sure as his messages have been very brief!

[akaWisey]

Probably some of each taking. I've seen the same ones pop up too.

No answer from disappearing photo man

Anyway from the current crop I've decided I'll retreat to the sofa if I don't meet someone who I both LIKE and have at least a spark of chemistry with, by the end of this month.

[akaWisey]

What do we think of disappearing photo man's explanation for taking his photo down - "I take it down when I go offline, the photo's a sort of flag-flying thing". is what I think.

[ladygoingGaga]

wisely essex man's comments seem a bit vague and non-committal.

luis sounds promising, I can forgive the bathroom, as he can learn, but thee height thing may bother me, I do love a tall man, one with presence who can literally sweep me off my feet

I'm glad you all share the same thoughts as my instincts, but that said he has asked me out on a date, but I have no one to have DS until next weekend, so we have pencilled in next Sunday.

Still seeing fireman tomorrow for lunch and a stroll.
That will be the third date, and I'm really hoping things are a little more relaxed, and more of a spark, after all how long should I give it!

I feel like a complete tart but I've toughened up so much in the last year, and I'm following the rules just about