Dating Thread 63- disappearers, wedding bells and dodgy eye candy, all are welcome

[hostesswithleastest]

Oops that title may have put off newcomers :D

Anyway.... the old thread is dead long live the new!

Well fireman just left, few hours chatting over coffee, he is genuine and lovely, felt comfortable.
He is clearly more nervous than me, and we did have a cheeky snog or two as he left, I think he could be a grower
I'd like to see him in more relaxed surroundings, doing something silly, or just afer a few pints!

wisely hope yours is going well!

I'm back home now. Well, he was exactly as his pic. Exactly as his conversation in messages. There were no awkward silences, he is quite an interesting bloke, we didn't see eye to eye on everything but that was ok somehow. I kept trying to imagine myself snogging his face off. I can't yet, but he's got a lovely jaw line and smooth skin. Keeps fit at the gym (I like that).

So he dropped me home and said he'd like to go out again, that he thought we had plenty we could talk about even though we have different views on some things. But value wise, I reckon we're probably going to be similar.

I've said yes to another date, he's texted me to thank me for a nice evening and wants to ring me tomorrow. He'll have had to stop the car to do that, he lives 20 miles away. I'm going to do what I haven't ever done before. I'm going to give this one a run and see if he's a grower. Meanwhile, however, I'm not going to put all my eggs in one basket.

Broken - don't fixate on him or try not to. It's hard I know

Well mr impatient big shot has gone all weird - clearly I am not worth the wait for a sitter so I will not be bothering him when I get one! Me patient hot scot is busily waiting around and texting me to see of o had a nice day etc. meanwhile I have also been chatting away and texting a farmer type who is quite interesting but has a bit of a strange way of talking. He's v keen but patient about a date but I'm v unsure about this one.

Broken I think if that's how it feels then it's a sign to let that particular one go. Establishing a relationship shouldn't feel like flogging a dead horse. Unfortunately there is a fair bit of duff advice around here (although not on this thread, obviously) telling women to give men a second chance if they've disappeared, not called etc.

But identifying that you have too much patience for problem cases is good. This gives you something to work on and you know to be less tolerant.

Broken, I'm sorry you've been hurting again, but there hasn't been a grand shift in dating.

This chap just isn't right for you, if he isn't doing the hand grabbing and trying to persuade you to be his. You've minimised the hurt he's caused you, you've justified his behaviour by blaming his ex, and now you're excusing him by blaming the whole of the dating scene. Please stop making excuses for him, how dare he treat you like this!

I'm certainly not waiting in the shadows for anyone to call or text - if someone wants to date me, they have to prove they are worthy of me.

I'm pleased to hear that you're thinking about why you chose a fixer-upper, and that you're back on the dating site - now go find a lovely man without issues that treats you the way you deserve!

Lovely to hear about all the happy dating also happening

Gaga hooray for cheeky snogs! Have you arranged a third date yet?

Wisey Fab news on the date, he sounds lovely. When you say you won't put all your eggs in one basket, do you mean you'll just keep talking to other guys or will you date others too? I'm interested to know as I never seem to get the early part of dating right!

Broken wish I had a magic wand to wave and make you feel better. I really add anything to the good advice the others have given you, I can only reiterate that he wasn't good enough for you, didn't treat your feelings with the respect they deserve and that you can do much better! Get chatting to some new guys and remind yourself that you have plenty of other options!

Detective has been sending me lots of flirty texts which I'm rather enjoying! I'm away all weekend and he works shifts so we're not going to see each other til next week some time but I think that's a good thing. I don't want to rush it and fall too hard and fast like I usually do! I will keep pinching myself and reminding myself of the rules! Not easy though, especially when he threatens to bring his handcuffs next time - I'm clearly a bit of a perv

Hello all - back again to ask for advice as I knew I would be.
Happy to see that action is being had :) at least by some.
But not here.
Haven't had any views, even, for two days. :( Have had one message from someone who looks (and sounds) a bit weird and a 'like' from someone who just sounds like a bit of a creepy player.
It is the Guardian (over 50s category)
I can see that the site is a bit slow - lots of profiles say 'last online weeks ago'
Or, I suppose that even men who say they are looking for women their own age are really looking for women 10/15/20 years younger?
Or it could be me ...?
... Photos are the best I could come up with (don't actually have that many recent photos and photo booth is very unforgiving!)
Any comments welcome.
And good times to everyone

Education how proactive are you being in looking for profiles and liking people? GSM is a bit slow and you can't just sit there and wait for men to view you.

It's hard to judge without seeing your photos, but if you know they're not good and don't reflect your true magnificence it might be worth asking a friend to take some that you're happy with.

Broken have you had any therapy since the break up with your ex?

Thanks, Stranger :)
Have looked at lots of profiles and sent out about 15 likes
Will get someone to look at the photos - haven't got any more, so will have to get someone to take them - and them photoshop them for magnificence (is there a magic wand for that )

souper I'm going to keep accepting dates until I've been dating someone long enough to want to go exclusive - IF THEY'RE WORTH IT. . Last nights date didn't ask, but if/when he does I'll be straight with him, I'm fully expecting him to keep dating too.

broken keep your pecker up, I know it's tough. tbh if there wasn't such a desert of single, available, attractive types where I live in RL I wouldn't be OD at all. You just have to hold back a bit and let them show you who they are.

Oh I've a question.

I've been contacted twice this week by two guys who in their profile's say they are Phd educated. One (says he) has the same profession as me which I'm really surprised about because it's pretty unusual. And I don't recognise him, he also hasn't said where he trained even though I did.

The other can't seem to spell properly . I've messaged him and asked him what he's doing on a site like POF. So, I'm suspicious. Fake profiles is what i'm thinking. How do you do that thing where you check the photo against google images? Anyone know?

@akaWisey

Try here...

images.google.com/imghp?hl=en

You can either post the url of the photo - right click it and copy paste from the image details into the search box of the Google site.

Or.

Right click the image and save a copy to your desktop and then upload it.

When the search is completed, it will bring up all of the images that are an exact or near match of the one you entered.

You can also search his profile name (some players are lazy and only ever use one name).

Also do a keyword search of the text of his profile. Fake profiles (text) are normally taken from parts/or whole of other peoples.

Sometimes you will also find that fakes just copy/paste examples of a profile templates given out on dating advice/bragging/player sites such as Hunter Killers, which is a site populated by sexual predators who prey on new OD'rs and share contact information like daters mobile numbers/saucy photos sent to them and scores out of ten for success of sex on the first date etc!

HK is a closed site and very hard to get membership too, but there are a few others out there that are not & reasonbly easy to get into if you do your research....

Best of luck & hope you find what you are looking for!

:)

wisely sounds sensible to go on another date, yet keep your options open, think I will do the same.

super handcuffs make sure he doesn't forget the key! Trying not to fall head over heels is easier said then done.

I should be on the phone arranging a date with hot scot. However dd2 will not allow it.

Can't believe it, I've got a 'cake and coffee date' tomorrow with someone local who's seen my profile, date last night is taking me to the cinema next week and one of the Phd guys (who is genuine it turns out) has asked me out for coffee this weekend but I can't go because I'm too busy!

The other one wants to talk on the phone over the weekend - where the feck am I going to fit them in? .

Oh godi got the phone call. The accent made me a bit wibbley!i am so bloody ill but I'm going on the date tonight

Hamwidge good luck - what's up with the accent?

It is date day for me, meeting for lunch. He sounds lovely but texts are a bit forward although not in a coarse way. He's definitely chasing which I like but am paranoid about red flags.

Any thoughts?

Hello. Can I join you? I could do with some advice about which sites are best for my situation:

I'm 49 and split from exP 3 years ago - he had an affair and broke my heart. We were together 15 years and have a ds age 12. Six months later I met a guy on Match and we were an item for two years but it was too soon and we were both on the rebound. Still very good friends though. Immediately, i went back on od and met another guy on Match Affinity and invested way too much in him but he was very complicated and totally unsuitable. He is still a friend though. I settle for too little, too soon I think.

I seem quite adept at making friends but unable to pick a decent guy for a relationship. So...... my plan is to be really strict, not settle for second best and have lots of dates in the hope of eventually finding a keeper. I seriously need to have some fun along the way too. I've dabbled with POF with some dubious results but now I'm tempted to go back on Match. What do you reckon?