Dating Thread 63- disappearers, wedding bells and dodgy eye candy, all are welcome

[hostesswithleastest]

Oops that title may have put off newcomers :D

Anyway.... the old thread is dead long live the new!

[unBant]

[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1873379-The-Dating-Thread-64 next thread]

[rubbishfamily333]

Broken - I wish I had the same issue of bring shy!

So what happened? The guy said you were too shy? I'm guessing you decided not to see him again?

[rubbishfamily333]

Stranger - yes I think it does help to remember that it's a chemical thing! And I am feeling extremely paranoid!

This thread is nearly finished, I hope someone starts a new one soon as I really need the support today.

This was bound to happen as I've been really really frustrated recently and even having naughty dreams for ages. I need to find someone to have regular sex with as its getting out if control!

God I'm so embarrassed

[ALittleStranger]

I get that, I find it helps to remember that it is chemical, rather than related to what you did or how you should feel about it. Alcohol is a depressant and it can bring on paranoia and guilt.

[rubbishfamily333]

Well I don't think I was too outrageous! I hope not anyway I think I just wanted a lot of action and would let him sleep and was maybe quite rough!

I'm really not sure if its been a while for him or not. I just wish I hadn't done it atall! I have that horrible guilty feeling now that I always get when I've been really drunk!

[ALittleStranger]

Well unless you did things that majorly crossed his boundaries, only an arse would try and make you feel silly for what you're like in bed. He's old, maybe he hasn't had it in a while and expects all women to lie back and think of England?

[rubbishfamily333]

Well I really can't remember much! But yes he told me some of the things I was doing which makes me feel like a crazy sex addict! And I wouldn't let him sleep!

God I'm so embarrassed! And yes he is an arse! I feel like I don't want to face him again ever!

This is what happens when I don't have someone I can regularly sleep with I get drunk and act like a nutcase

Now I want the ground to swallow me up!

[ALittleStranger]

What do you mean "by the sounds of it"? Did he give you an appraisal this morning? If so, he's an arse. I think you just have to chalk it up to experience, have a laugh about it and move on. If he's double your age hopefully he's mature enough to do so!

[rollermydisco]

Hello thread, another occasional poster here!

Superdooperpenguin - did you hear back from detective?

Flojo - what was the odd behaviour you picked U-Turn up man on?

Bant - your post on men and texting was very useful to me at the moment, but can I ask - if someone starts off texting you all the time, then it drops off after a matter of weeks, surely that's a bit of a concern? Or do most men make more effort at first, then relax a bit when they've "snared you"

[rubbishfamily333]

Hey thread

I'm feeling terrible today! I went out with my mums friend last night who is like double my age and who doesn't drink! Got drunk and slept with him! Ahhhh

I havnt had any action for ages and probably pounced on him! And by the sounds of it I was being completely crazy and aggressive in bed! Now I'm so embarrassed! Help

[ALittleStranger]

I'd love to do a kayaking date, but not for a first date. First dates from OD aren't dates IMO and you really just want a coffee/drink to see how you get on.

Wisey nothing to say messagers are so annoying. But then I have a minor gripe with people who put "I don't know what to write" on their profile. Really, do they also walk up to people in bars and announce they don't know what to say? (Although remembering the "plonkers", the answer is possibly yes).

[Flojobunny]

I agree movies are for when u feel comfortable together. But kayaking?! I think a preliminary quick coffee date is first just to decide if you want to date them.

So MrUTurn has decided he was mistaken and wants to see me again. I told him friends was an option, but dating? Nah. I was already taking a risk with him, but that's when I thought he was lovely now I know he can be a cock then I'm not interested.
Back to the drawing board.

[akaWisey]

Second date unbant. I sort of agree with you however.

Another something I'd like feedback on please? I had a very nice message from a guy I viewed last night. I find him very attractive in an unconventional kind of way. Good profile, good photo's which illustrate his lifestyle very well. He's looking for a relationship and has asked if the distance between us (55 miles) is too far for me.

He doesn't want an 'all bells and whistle's in your face' relationship - he likes the excitement that not seeing each other for a few days brings, although he says he's loyal in relationships. All that, to me, means he doesn't want 'commitment' and is probably very tied up in his own life and interests. So I've responded thus (but not literally):

I'm open minded about what a relationship would look like for me as I've also got my own life and interests and my own space is important. But I believe that dating is a way of discovering if each person's needs for love, care, respect and trust can be met or not. What a relationship looks like from the outside matters less if all these are present and felt.

I've left it to him to digest and respond to (or not).

Thoughts would be helpful

[ladygoingGaga]

unbant I tend to agree, I think movie dates are further down the line once you know each other, but Kayaking?!

Ironically I would love to do something fun like that, probably for a second date, once I have met them for drink and a chat. Maybe I will mention it next time and see the reaction.

[unBant]

I think anyone who suggests cinema for a first date isn't really a grown up yet.

Drinks and chat, fine. Kayaking, fine. A walk in the countryside, boring but fine. Sitting next to each other in plastic seats while looking at a screen and either ignoring or being ignored by the other person? Weird.

[ladygoingGaga]

wisely that looks like a list to me!

Had third date with fireman, walk and coffee, no spark at all, when he kissed me it was just meh. So I text him after the date, wishing him luck and saying thanks but no thanks, how very adult of me

May have a date with supermarket buyer man on Sunday, after my initial reservations of him declaring his large salary, we have been chatting happily online.

I very of dinner and movie dates! I can't get past coffee

[akaWisey]

mr fancy bank job does he do hold up's in ever such a nice way?

[akaWisey]

Ham you have a LIST

I have:

text from phd guy checking we're on for tomorrows dinner and movie

text from Whitehall man checking we're on for sunday lunch

message from guy-with-no-name-yet asking if I'd possibly consider meeting up for a drink

Have been favourited by a fit bloke who's profile i really like. but nothing else

I want a list.

[Hamwidgeandcheps]

Evening all

So I have new list of possibles;

Mr fancy bank job - lots of encouraging contact and understanding about lp pressures. If this goes nowhere I'm very encouraged that there are adult makes available for dating
Mr electrical engineer - quite interesting banter but weeny but keen for my liking. Might out him on the back burner.
Mr posh farmer has turned up again but I fear he's way too preachy for me! I'd meet up with him anyway.
Mr secret crush. So I have kindled a friendship with a bloke local
To me through non od means. Might end up being a good mate but he's fit fit can't describe as of all the men I know he's very likely to be a mner

[akaWisey]

splish me too, even though he says he's been single and living alone for two years. And his photo is still missing. So that's a no then.

This week's minor irritation for me is guys who initiate message contact and then have bugger all to say - like no conversation other than 'just got in from work' . Ok pal, not much to go on there then.

[splishsplosh]

Wisey - I think it's a bit suspicious, I'd suspect he's possibly not single.

Gaga - I think that talking / meeting to a few potentials helps to not get too carried away too soon.

I've got a lunch date next week, I'm not quite sure why as we haven't even messaged that much, but I'm seizing the day. Just hope this one turns out to be single!

Also chatting to an interesting sounding guy but he's on the other side of London so I'm not sure there's much potential there.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Niceguy (who my friend is calling ''dimples'') texted back! First date rearranged for next weekend. Yays. Other first date is next tues with jokerguy, who I sent my number to tonight as I'll be away and therefore not accessing dating site over wkend for him to send details of where we're going. Slight test there!

Luis - none of those bad points would be a dealbreaker for me but he ''could fall in love'' on date 2? That'd be a bit intense for me, unless I was love-at-first-sight-A-over-T myself (unlikely). Would be thinking either over-emotional weirdo, or trying to get into pants rather unsubtley. What was the context? Are you going for a 3rd date?

Love having found this thread by the way :-)

[ladygoingGaga]

wisely essex man's comments seem a bit vague and non-committal.

luis sounds promising, I can forgive the bathroom, as he can learn, but thee height thing may bother me, I do love a tall man, one with presence who can literally sweep me off my feet

I'm glad you all share the same thoughts as my instincts, but that said he has asked me out on a date, but I have no one to have DS until next weekend, so we have pencilled in next Sunday.

Still seeing fireman tomorrow for lunch and a stroll.
That will be the third date, and I'm really hoping things are a little more relaxed, and more of a spark, after all how long should I give it!

I feel like a complete tart but I've toughened up so much in the last year, and I'm following the rules just about