Contrarian while I see what you mean I don't agree because pussyfooting around these sorts of things doesn't do any good.
By only using the word "rape" to signify a stranger dragging a blameless, preferably virginal, dressed head-to-toe in modest clothing, woman down an alley kicking and screaming and violently forcing her to have sex we (as a society) have allowed millions of rapists to get away with raping their partners sometimes for years and years on end. Because women in relationships who are actually being assaulted and raped by their partners are told "Oh it's not that bad," and they end up mistrusting their own feelings, persuading themselves that they're overreacting and putting up with things no human should have to put up with. They feel violated and angry but they are told they have no right to feel that way because "it's not as if he's raping you," and "he's so good in other ways, he doesn't mean it." So they are taught, by society, to ignore their own feelings and to forget about having control over their own body. They are taught that if they say yes to sex then everything else is fair game and starting to have sex means they lose the right to say no. That is NOT ACCEPTABLE.
Rape is rape is rape. And assault is assault is assault.
Rapists would like to muddy the waters by trying to distinguish between "legitimate rape" (ie virginal woman being dragged down the alley by a stranger) and...I don't know...something that is actually rape but that the rapist would prefer to be called something else so he can get away with it? Calling it by some sort of euphemism, framing it as "bad manners" WTAF?? only works in favour of rapists, not in favour of victims. It allows rapists to hide behind terminology, it allows them to force the victim to describe the "context" thus embarrassing and shaming her by requiring her to air her sex life so it can be analysed for ways in which she was "to blame" for her rape, ways in which she "sent the wrong signal" "didn't say 'no' loudly enough" "misunderstood" or some other bullshit.
The fact is, before you do anything to anyone's body the onus is on YOU, that is YOU Contrarian to find out if you have permission to do that thing, and if you don't have permission, you don't do it. If you have to ask to find out whether you have permission, then fucking well ASK! I always see people on these kinds of threads implying that actually talking during sex is somehow weird. Well I think if you can't talk to your sexual partner then that's bloody weird. If you can't say "Would you like me to suck it" before a BJ then why on god's green earth are you having sex?
Attitudes have to change, and fast. I am shit fucking sick of women having to justify why they don't want their bodies messed with. They don't want their bodies messed with because they are human fucking beings. They have an absolute right to dictate 100% (barring emergency medical treatment while unconscious) what happens to their bodies at all times. AT ALL TIMES. They have a right to be ASKED, WITH WORDS (yes that's directed to you Contrarian) if they want a certain thing done to their body. They should not have to remove fingers from their orifices or bat hands away from their genitals. Ever.