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Original poster

Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

999 replies

Kirstywirsty · 20/08/2013 16:37

The Rules

  1. Develop a thick skin;
  2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  4. Trust your gut instinct;
  5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
  6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  7. If it's not fun, stop
  8. loo update is mandatory
OP posts:
MsApprehension · 04/09/2013 19:24

OK daters, though I would share this one. Have been messaged by a guy who has a decent profile, a bit pretentious but sounds interesting and is good-looking. I was scrolling down his profile thinking "yeah, ok, might message you back", but then...

"When i'm reading for my part-time studies, it might be a perfect time for you to shop for shoes or go with friends to spa."

Eh? Seriously? I think he might have messaged the wrong woman Grin

OhWesternWind · 04/09/2013 19:43

MsApp probably one of my least favourite things in the world is shopping for shoes. I do it strictly on a needs must basis. In fact, I would rather go to the dentist than go shoe shopping. Pah. Stereotyping twat.

Sorry, I just hate all this shoes and handbags and fluffy pink kittens shite that's peddled as What Laydeez Like.

superstarheartbreaker · 04/09/2013 20:17

I think I'm going to use my dating experiences to write a comedy/blog/play. I mean some of things that people come out with e.g:
"Have you got curves?"
" Lets go away for a weekend in October" (we had never even met when he suggested this)
" My friend is a single mum and she told everyone down the pub that she had a bucket fanny!"

Just comedy gold. All from handsome, professional men.

KinNora · 04/09/2013 20:18

DFU as far as I'm aware 'greeting' is used instead of 'crying' in Scotland, however I'm hoping it was an autocorrect as I fear the thought of a man posing for photos in 'crying' underwear may send me over the edge.

Moanranger · 04/09/2013 20:19

QWW Agree! I bought my current handbag in Ecuador in 2010 for equivalent of £30. I just bought Skechers shoes on line - flat & comfy. Dentist way more relaxing than shopping.

Moanranger · 04/09/2013 20:26

BTW, Meet Up guy & I may not be contemplating marriage, but he is about to put me on his RSPB membership card as his significant other! Ah, romance....

49howdidthathappen · 04/09/2013 20:34

My last shoe purchase was a pair of brand new Brasher walking boots, 50p from a charity shop in Scotland Grin

I doubt that is what he had in mind!

scrazy · 04/09/2013 20:36

Arggh! I've just downloaded Tinder on my phone out of curiosity. There was loads of profiles of boys less than half my age and I 'liked' one by mistake, because I don't know how to use it. Was trying to uninstall it and he 'liked' me back. Grin I don't even think they are near me tbh.

Anyone know how it works?

Ms23 · 04/09/2013 20:56

So I went on a date on Saturday night. Had a fun time and we chatted with no awkward silences. However I felt there was really no attraction and would only want to meet again if it was clear it was just as friends. I hadn't heard from him til last night so I thought he felt the same- but now he has text asking if I want to go out this Saturday. I told him I was busy (true) but I'm aware that was a bit of a cop-out and I should have been more clear. Help! What do I say if wants to meet again?

scrazy · 04/09/2013 21:14

Ms23, just be honest and then it's up to him if he still wants to meet up. Saying this, a few women on another thread said they didn't fancy their other halves when they first met them. I don't know if this is settling or whether attraction grows Hmm. This has happened to me in real life but I knew them purely as friends first rather than in a dating capacity.

I found out my tinder match is miles away from me, 22, very good looking and likes older women. I cannot find out how you uninstall the damned app but hope that I won't be out there unless I actually log onto the app. Anyone know?

OhWesternWind · 04/09/2013 21:17

Hi 23 - there's a pretty standard format for this type of text - lovely to meet you blah blah, unfortunately didnt feel there was a spark blah blah best of luck for the future.

It's always a bit awkward, I really dislike doing that kind of thing, but it's worse to let it drag on.

OhWesternWind · 04/09/2013 21:18

Sorry Scrazy haven't even heard of it! Bit odd that it won't uninstall.

Hamwidgeandcheps · 04/09/2013 21:29

I should have screen shot the greeting underwear.....

Now I've been messaged by aman who looks like Bruce Forsyth.

I might need profile wisdom!

scrazy · 04/09/2013 21:30

It probably will but I don't know how to do it. I think it's going to be the next thing in dating. You don't put a profile on, it takes your facebook profile pic and just puts your age and is supposed to link you up to others in your area. It's obviously becoming popular with the younger ones.

Bant · 05/09/2013 01:03

Evening all.

I went to my semiregular expat night to catch up with some friends. I saw the Translator for the first time in ages, and chatted to CheshireCat a bit, although she really was quite dull, which was vaguely amusing for some reason.

I spent most of the evening chatting to an English friend, a woman of about 22 or so who I've known for a while and we get on. She introduced me to some other people she knew and we chatted for a couple of hours.

The most amusing though was her friend the DramaQueen, a dancing/drama teacher, British and waaaaay too young for me, who was a very touchy feely person, stroking my pecs and stuff, a little bit invading-personal-space type of thing, but I could forgive it because she was quite frankly stunning. Still too young though at 21. That would be horribly wrong.

However I found as the evening went on and we moved to another place she was all link-arms-with-Bant, smile winsomely, persuade her friend to come to the place I'm going with my mate, 'let's go with bant, it'll be fun' - and after she has several drinks she ended up really coming on to me, the up-front-in-your-face waiting for me to kiss her thing. And even though she would possibly be the most attractive woman I've ever kissed it was just .. Not going to happen.

I was bemused though by the fact that a remarkably good looking woman of 21 would be up for a kiss with a man of my advancing years though. Possible father issues, which made me feel weird.

I put her in the tram home, hugged my friend goodnight and had a laugh with her about it then headed in the other direction.

Strange evening

KinNora · 05/09/2013 06:38

Good morning everyone,

Bant were you doing your various small mammal/cartoon character impressions ? That kind of thing drives the laydeeeeez wild.

What's going on on here - it's like You and Your Wedding magazine, I suspect I'm much happier vicariously enjoying nuptials.

I'm slightly cheered to wake up to a message from Gay Paree who I thought had fallen by the wayside. I quite fancy him, which is an OD novelty.

Have a lovely day.

notyesterdaythankyou · 05/09/2013 06:40

Can you give me guidance on the first phone call, after a few messages have been exchanged? Feel rather pathetic asking about this as use the phone constantly at work, but not sure how OD dating calls go.

Words of wisdom please. Maybe a few useful phrases to use or a whole script Grin

KinNora · 05/09/2013 07:05

Hello Not , I'm hardly a great deal of use to you as I avoid talking to a man on the phone before I've met him but I'm sure other people will pop along will constructive advice. Good luck though.

MirandaWest · 05/09/2013 07:58

I am useless at phoning people as well and would never do before meeting. But as Nora says other people will be more use :)

I have been sent my Forearm of the Day picture [grin[

MirandaWest · 05/09/2013 07:59

Or even Grin

OhWesternWind · 05/09/2013 08:48

Not I never talk on the phone either, hate it. Don't even chat on the phone with Alpha now but we do a lot of texting and e-mailing. I find it a lot less awkward to meet in person than to talk on the phone. If you're not comfortable with doing it, then don't.

Bant have you been on the botox again??

Nora ooh la la for Gay Paree! Glad he's popped back up again . . .

Morning everyone else

KinNora · 05/09/2013 11:50

Forearm of the day, how very lovely Miranda.

OWW - worrying moment of distraction as I thought about Gay Paree popping up.

Winefiend · 05/09/2013 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoylessFucker · 05/09/2013 12:06

not if you do agree to go ahead with the call, don't worry as most people just want the briefest of chats as their purpose is to establish that you're real. Yes, some want to hear the voice in case its squeeky or incomprehensible (I have an aversion to anyone who sounds like David Beckham for instance), but only a few are seeking a really good chat. To avoid the latter, I'd say before the call (via text or email) that you're not comfortable with a lengthy phone call until you've met in person and if they don't accept, then they're displaying their unwillingness to compromise which might have a bearing on whether you want to meet them.

Prepare yourself with one or two topics from his profile to ask him about as most people are happy to talk about themselves their interests, but also have a get-out ready prepared in case it turns out to be torture (emergency phone call, kids bleeding, cat thrown up, doorbell etc.) Personally, I find it far easier to duck out on the phone than in person as its much quicker.

Good luck with the call, although you might discover the voice really does it for you such that you want to shag the arse off him just based on that I've never felt that, oh no Grin

ALittleStranger · 05/09/2013 13:16

Not I've never called, I can't see what the benefit is as that first meet in person is crucial for me, and I'm not a phone chatter.

23 if you didn't find him attractive but liked him I'd meet again. You can't go through life expecting punch in the gut attraction every time. Chemistry also seems to correlate weirdly with initial attraction.