I don't know what to make of this.

[Spottypurse]

DP always told me he hadn't done something.

I discovered today that he had.

It's not a bad thing, but it's really weird that he never told me.

I don't even know why I'm posting. I feel odd and rather unsettled. Like I don't know him.

Can you say what the thing is? It's hard to gauge without knowing that but I can understand you feeling unsettled.

Is it the sort of thing that he wouldn't want to think about himself, even?

I can't say what it is as I'm afraid it'll out me.

It's something that if you were asked you'd say if you had done it. He always said he didn't. But he did.

So it would be a good thing to do?

Yes it would be. (I know his sister is on here so I don't want to say)

Then I'd call him on it. I could understand if it was something slightly distasteful that he might not want to admit to himself that he'd done - and then just knee-jerked a response on it. But otherwise? (I'm just slightly wary of falsehoods being uttered when there seems to be no need. Even little ones.)

Just ask him - but keep it fairly lighthearted - and see what he says.

That's it cozietosie - it's a stupid thing for him to have lied about.

Would he have had a reason to claim not to have done it, or was it a pointless lie? I understand why you don't want to say what it is, but the context is probably important here.
Not nice to find out you've been lied to anyway.

You don't know his reasoning. Ask him about it?

It's a pointless lie.

I feel sick.

Surely whatever it is can't be so unique that revealing it would 'out' you - there are few activities that only a handful of people have done! Climbed Everest without oxygen? Won an Olympic gold medal? Or are we talking more 'done a bungee jump' or 'smoked dope'. It's hard for us to comment on the significance of the deception without more information...

I can't ask him right now. I found out in front of other people. It is such a weird thing to lie about.

It's a totally normal thing. I don't understand why he lied.

Then talk to him about it and resolve the matter one way or the other - otherwise, it will poison your relationship even though it's not a bad thing. No point in just sitting there and feeling bad.

Is he home this evening?

It's really impossibly to judge without knowing what it is.

There's few things that only one person in the world has ever done.

x post.

Have it out with him as soon as you can, then - within reason. (Not when he's doing 80 in the outside lane.)

He's away on a stag do for his future BIL this weekend.

We were at his sisters earlier (I was dropping him off). I saw a photo. It was on top of the piano. It's a totally normal thing. No unusual in the slightest.

If its something good, I don't really understand. Ok, you are upset because he has lied but unfortunately, without knowing what it is, we can't really say.

Is it really that unique?

If it's that normal then surely you can tell us what it is without outing yourself

I knew it - he was a prefect at school!

I thought it was wanking. But the photo has thrown me.

Is it a major thing? I wouldn't forget I'd broken a world record but may forget I've been to years if it doesn't stick out in any memories.

Is it possible he has forgotten he did it? I.e no I have never ridden a motorbike, forgetting he'd actually gone on the back of his mates 20 years ago?

Is it possible he wasn't listening when you asked him as in Darling have you ever been skiing. Er.... No never darling, as he checks the football scores on his phone?

Is it something he could have forgotten he's done? In that it wasn't such a deal as to be worth remembering?

He couldn't have forgotten. It's a formal photo.

Oh damn. I don't really know him at all do I?