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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't know what to make of this.

127 replies

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 20:49

DP always told me he hadn't done something.

I discovered today that he had.

It's not a bad thing, but it's really weird that he never told me.

I don't even know why I'm posting. I feel odd and rather unsettled. Like I don't know him.

OP posts:
Catnap26 · 16/08/2013 21:23

Ask his sister???

LemonPeculiarJones · 16/08/2013 21:24

No, that is very strange.

Why on earth lie?

Could there be any reason why he'd be in a possibly mocked-up graduation photo, when actually he didn't graduate?

Confused
mindyourownbusiness · 16/08/2013 21:24

Surely you are as outed as an outed thing anyway by saying you have just driven to his sisters house , he is on his future b-I-ls stag night (who happens to have a piano with a pic of your DH doing something on top).

I am sure your s-I-l would recognise you anyway if she was on here,

Teeb · 16/08/2013 21:25

Did you think he had gone to uni and not graduated, or you didn't know anything of uni? I know some people who will say they haven't graduated if they got a 2.2 say, because they don't believe it's actually worth much (just their opinion) could it be something like that?

Twinklestein · 16/08/2013 21:26

I can't believe you thought he could be identified for having a degree!

There's no point us speculating, just ask him.

LEMisdisappointed · 16/08/2013 21:26

it is a bit odd isn't it - is it soemthing that he just hasn't mentioned, or has he categorically denied ever having been to university? did he do an OU degree? Does what he does for a living require a degree?

CinnabarRed · 16/08/2013 21:26

My first boyfriend at uni didn't ever actually graduate because he still owed money to the college for hall fees, so they withheld his degree.

But he didn't get to go to graduation or have a formal photo taken either.

MacaYoniandCheese · 16/08/2013 21:27

Any chance he could be a spy?

FishfingersAreOK · 16/08/2013 21:27

There are some vocational/old nVq courses that may have graduation ceremonies. The board and gown do not necessarily mean Uni course. Talk to him.

mindyourownbusiness · 16/08/2013 21:30

Ahh sorry - x posted - I see. Yes I would definitely just ask him. It's not as if you have been prying so he cant really get cross about it. You just innocently walked in a family members home and saw a picture on display. I would just very casually ask.

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:30

I think he would need a degree for what he does. But I'm not sure.

I'm just going to have to talk to him when he gets back.

OP posts:
TallulahTT · 16/08/2013 21:32

Another one saying may not be a degree for the appearance of the photo, could be HNC or other more vocational course what did you think he was doing at that age?

garlicagain · 16/08/2013 21:32

It's nowhere near as easy as you'd think to be outed on Mumsnet :) That's one advantage of being on such a popular forum. Somebody thought they'd outed me - it wouldn't surprise me, as I pour my sorry old heart out here - but it was another regular with a similar history. She's wittier than me, though, so I let 'em think I'm the other poster.

OP, do you have a degree? Might he have lied at a time when he was concerned about seeming to put you down?

Ask him ...

Redcliff · 16/08/2013 21:32

I know what you mean - I have been with my bf for 13 years, have a house and a kid together and thought I know all there was to know and the other day I found out he believed in aliens - really threw me.

I have not been to uni but have a cap and gown picture due to a vocational course.

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:35

I do have a degree. But it isn't like I'd say I don't have one, you know? Oh blast.

OP posts:
SinisterSal · 16/08/2013 21:36

Maybe it is a short course type thing.
What did you think he did when he left school?

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:38

I thought he went to Uni, dropped out, got a job and worked his way up.

I didn't know him then and it was years ago. So not as if I was quizzing him on what he did year by year Confused

OP posts:
CinnabarRed · 16/08/2013 21:39

How long have you been together?

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:39

Just over a year, CinnabarRed.

OP posts:
SinisterSal · 16/08/2013 21:40

Maybe it's one of those courses - Yr 1 Cert, Yr 2 Diploma, Yr 3 Degree - sort of thing?

CinnabarRed · 16/08/2013 21:40

And how old is he in the photo compared to his age now? Just thinking it was harder to fake photos a decade ago before electronic cameras were everywhere....

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:42

He definitely looks young. Photo about 20 years ago-ish?

OP posts:
WhoNickedMyName · 16/08/2013 21:42

I think there's going to be a perfectly rational explanation. My DH did his HND while 'working his way up' and like I said before, he has a cap and gown photo, but if anyone asked or it came up in conversation he would say he "didn't do uni".

I think you need to stop with the "I feel like I don't know him" until you've spoken to him, or you're going to work yourself up into a state over what could be nothing.

YoniBottsBumgina · 16/08/2013 21:43

I think I would find it weird too. Okay fair enough if he'd never mentioned it, but to have specifically said no, I never went to uni and then to find out he did is bizarre.

He doesn't have a secret identical twin does he? Grin

Catnap26 · 16/08/2013 21:43

Does he have a twin?