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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Dating Thread - episode 61

999 replies

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 21:44

BOOM!

OP posts:
lurkinglorna · 19/08/2013 15:38

i'm convinced the guy trying to ask me out this week is using some sort of "game" thing on me, or some bizarre "guide to get women" Hmm

seems pretty thick to me? fact is he looks attractive and even though my life is going to be out of a suitcase very soon, i'd be happy to accept a "straight out i like you" date.

OP posts:
MsApprehension · 19/08/2013 16:43

Ha! Predictably, spontaneous date man has just realised we can't go out this weekend as he is actually based in another city at the moment. Amazing how you can forget which city you're in just like that Grin

No matter, I have many other fish to fry, and haikus to compose...

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 19/08/2013 17:24

Howdy folks Smile

It's all going on eh?

Woo!

KinNora · 19/08/2013 17:39

Spill, Twinny ...

JulietteMontague · 19/08/2013 18:11

Family kind and great in bed absolutely go together Wink. Anyway, why would you want to have sex with someone who isn't kind.

Bant bet she just wants to check out your bathroom cabinet. Are you going to have to get out one of the Tesco's Finest range?

Lorna I wouldn't be too concerned. Some people just are spontaneous, other have read the advice books that suggest 'I have two tickets for the game tonight would you like to come with me?' as a casual approach to dating. It could be a game but otoh, it's a champagne thing on a Tuesday. What's not to like? Smile

Hostess enjoy your evening. Is this the first time with him?

OhWesternWind · 19/08/2013 18:32

Family kind => thoughtful => considerate => generous, all great things for someone to be in bed. BUT I had fantastic sex with LM, who wasn't all those things, so on a purely physical level it can work brilliantly with a different set of qualities. Depends on what you're looking for.

Not long til D Day Juliette!

Ignore the ex if you can Kitty - sounds like a bit of a prat.

Bant sounds like you're on a promise with Derby. Hope things work out. Better stock up on your handcuffs and nipple clamps just in case Wink

Lorna move date sounds exciting. Is it soon?

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 19/08/2013 18:37

Okayyyy Twinny. But he hasn't texted me since we met yet...

So started chatting to chap on OKC, a 92% match. Met for lunch today. Didn't think I would fancy him. but perhaps we'd be nice friends.

But he was lovely Smile We laughed a lot, toured the (charity) shops and some delicious kissing at the end. Smile

He has a few canal boats (and a yacht), and a motorbike, lives 6 months in France, very bohemian...not my type in lots of way but I like him. Chemistry caught me by surprise, felt like coming home, very relaxed and easy.

Wow, wasn't expecting that to happen.

Early days...Hey dud, where's my text?

For the purposes of The Thread his name is: Cuthbert Grin

lurkinglorna · 19/08/2013 18:41

2 months OWW think i'm gonna be crashing on a friends sofa for a while Smile work is sorted though (although i'm looking at university brochures and dreaming, maybe next few years).

i think this is partially why i'm ok with lots of random liaisons rather than meeting someone really good right now. it would be too easy for me to think "follow my man" as i haven't really got a "career" as such but think long term i want the career more? (hmmm, i can prowl the campus seduce the academics if i become a mature student some point GrinHmm)

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 19/08/2013 18:41

Oooooh WFF excellent! The woo is well and truly wafting! He sounds great!

Bant · 19/08/2013 18:41

'check out my bathroom cabinet'? Is that a euphemism?

Strangely enough, I've only had one Hungarian woman stay over, and true to the stereotypes I'd heard, she woke up before me and cleaned the place - including rearranging my bathroom cabinet. The explanation I'd read is that Hungary is a very old fashioned place where men take flowers on a first date and pay for everything, including entering any establishment first to ensure it's safe (?) and a woman will play her role by tidying.

I'm not the neatest person in the world, it's one of my failings I accept. I do need to get a cleaner. But it just seems strange.

Wonder if Derby (named because she asked me questions about the Epsom Derby) will do the same?

She'll be over shortly in any case. Too late to buy nipple clamps, I'll have to forgo them.

lurkinglorna · 19/08/2013 18:42

WFF Cuthbert sounds LOVELY, glad you had an excellent date. I have Rosie and Jim fantasies about canal boats

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 19/08/2013 18:44

Bant Talking of nipple clamps (as we are), Derby sounds rather assertive for Hungaria. Hasn't she initiated your meeting?

OWW Grin at D Day. He mentioned pulling the plug on his fridge, maybe he is trying to tell me something.

lurkinglorna · 19/08/2013 18:50

I actually like my men more dominant than average in the bedroom. I'm not Hungarian.

I mean if the European finished off every one of his shouting sessions with "now get to the bedroom and lets $£$%£$"%$£%£"$" I'd actually consider breaking my embargo on remarrying. Sadly it was just moaning though.

OP posts:
AWarmFuzzyFuture · 19/08/2013 18:50

But as I've not had a 'thank you' text I may be being a bit premature here...

I am glad I did something different.

It may come to nowt but it was nice.

lurkinglorna · 19/08/2013 18:50

(am I the only one who secretly liked Malcolm Tucker? Blush)

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 19/08/2013 18:53

Bant it is both a euphemism and reality. Can tell a lot by a man's bathroom cabinet not that I would ever snoop so hide that pile cream it doesn't bode well for either your diet or personality I so do snoop.

WFF woohoo we can be Boat Bitches together Grin

lurkinglorna · 19/08/2013 18:53

WFF I couldn't agree more, in the dating process just having a good date, a lovely day, meeting someone I connect to, and feeling SOME chemistry is a good enough result for me Smile

It doesn't have to end up in a progressive connection to be worth it, I've had some amazingly memorable conversations or sweet moments or sleazy moments with men who I've never seen again, its all good Smile

OP posts:
KinNora · 19/08/2013 18:56

(No, Lorna I'd have done him, even though he was too skinny)

He clearly has no taste if he doesn't text Twinny

I continue to press my face up against the Woo Window like a starving child outside a Macdonalds...

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 19/08/2013 19:01

Kin Grin your words do paint such a vivid picture.

Bant · 19/08/2013 19:01

Juliette - no, I met Derby in person from an expat evening a few weeks ago. I got chatting to her, we had a quick snog, I gave her my number (business card, I always forget to take a pen and it's just easier that way) and forgot about her after a few days. She got back in touch last week. These things happen.

There was lots of chemistry back then but I was focused on CheshireCat. There was even more chemistry when I saw her the other night. As I said, she seems to give off a vibe of wanting to be dominated.

And on that topic, I got into a flame war on a FB post yesterday with a bloke who is a Game Player - as in, Pick up artist, has read all the books about how to assert his natural dominance over women, accused me of being an emasculated male for not thinking men were inherently superior. It was really weird, the stuff he was quoting was actually sounding a bit like Mein Kampf, or Nietzche, trying to persuade the man who bought the book that they were now superior to other normal men because they had the tricks to pick up women, and of course superior to women because they were men.

He was incredibly patronising, and when I pointed out the logical errors in his posts, and the signs he was obviously a deeply unhappy individual who needed to feel superior because of his numerous failings, he went back and edited all his posts to remove the errors and tried to make out I was a lunatic. Odd man. Ah well.

Bant · 19/08/2013 19:04

Personally I've got no problem with a bit of domination, but I personally like a little bit of reciprocation at times. It just gets a bit boring if I have to decide everything, nice to have someone else want to do something specific occasionally.

lurkinglorna · 19/08/2013 19:05

I feel a bit "anti Woo" at the moment. I think I don't want to have romantic Woo, I'm a bit Wooed out this year

but I want Woo in other parts of my life - was more excited looking at possible student funding options and thinking "this may actually be doable sooner than i think" than the text I got this evening from the guy I had a good first meet with (cute Italian architect) asking for a spontaneous park cycle ride.

Some cock would be ok though.

OP posts:
AWarmFuzzyFuture · 19/08/2013 19:05

Not wanting to out myself, but I am literally walking distance from a canal. He knew my 'lock'Wink.

Where's my bloody text? Can you see how much insouciance I am demonstrating?

I am now cleaning the oven people so as not to text him...Patience thy name is WFF.Grin

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 19/08/2013 19:06

Lorna some cock is always okay in my view.

Hamwidgeandcheps · 19/08/2013 19:11

I agree with grinchie plus kind me. Don't show off about it and arnt all talk and no action Grin unkind and shit in bed have been common themes in my exes Grin