The Dating Thread - episode 61

[lurkinglorna]

BOOM!

Western - oops yes I name changed to talk about a family matter and I didnt change back again

Mr w defiantly isn't for me, I'm just very embarrassed at the message I sent him in the middle of the night when I was drunk, as I feel like I I really don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he has got to me. Well it's too late now I've sent it

I do feel that there is absolutely no reason for him to keep coming into my life just to keep trying for a chance then when I give him a chance he backs off. Typical me unavailable behaviour and I really need to finish my mr unavailable book.

I am also wary of the younger guy mentioning his foot fetish before having even one date. When he said that I basically said that I hope he doesn't think I would be sleeping with him anytime soon if atall which he said oh yes of course about. We will see.

Well the mystery man sent me some photos of him and asked me for one of me (just normal photos) and he is actually quite good looking. But he comes across as a bit rude but in a jokey way. He was saying I was begging him to take my numer (which I very much doubt as I wouldn't normally do anything like that) and I said if I was so desperate to speak to him again I would have been begging him to give me his number and not to take mine!

Anyway he hasn't text back since then

I've also gone back onto POF I'm not sure if I can be bothered with that. All I know for sure is I need to stay away from mr w as he is a real headfuck and if he contacts me again I need to be able to completely ignore him. Which is easier said then done!

Juliette - he is a complete messer! He's not worth it because actually I know I don't want to be with him anyway, I just get caught up in his games. And I guess because I have no one else around I just easily fall into it with him again. But it needs to stop

Hello all, I've lost track a little bit of what everyone's up to as the thread's moved quickly the last few days and I've been moving to a new flat so apologies that I don't have much to add to the conversation apart from at all those getting some dating/"pashing" action!

A somewhat hot guy (as far as I can tell) with a very minimal profile messaged me the other day to ask if I want to go out this Friday at 7. I'm well aware that he probably doesn't mean it but I spontaneously agreed so let's see if he comes through with any specifics.

Having read the discussion about messaging guys first and being proactive, I have now messaged 10 guys with (what I think) are decent messages. In fact I got a bit silly and sent some of them personally tailored haikus poems based on their profiles as a sort of experiment so I'm keen to see what the success rate is of normal vs. haiku-based messages . This morning I have had 1 response from a non-haiku messaged man who seems interesting and good-looking so fingers crossed for the rest!

Rubbish good attitude. I am also one for mr. unavailables. Decided to give em all the heave ho.

Cityboy is round tonight and I am SO going to get laid :D :D :D He's been texting like mad and the usual very odd mix of red-flag sexting with stuff about how much he is looking forward to watching geeky tv with me and how he has missed me etc!

Agree with others on the thread that he doesn't know what the hell he really wants. But heck... he is fun and nice and I'm gonna get laiiiiid :D

Is it too whorish to get the suspenders out? 3rd date and I feel like tarting it up a bit.

MsApprehension I get those random immediate invites too and always turn them down. Getting bored of fantasists/timewasters/ONS merchants and one thing OD has done for me is improved my radar for those people. Although by god it needed tweaking as my experience with 22 years younger sociopathic wanker proved

Ok I am considering texting mr w today to say that I know my drunken text may not have made sense, but what I wanted to say is that the way he treats me is totally disgraceful and there is no need for it! I don't chase after him, he chases after me then when I show a little interest back he messes me around and goes quiet again.

But I really feel that I shouldn't text him as he doesn't even deserve that! I think it's just that I feel so embarrassed about the text I sent that I feel I want to text again to explain the madness but like I say he doesn't deserve that. But I think that the reason I want to text is to get it off my chest and let him know his behaviour is unacceptable and from someone that says he loves me etc, there is no reason to treat me so crappy.

What should I do?

Online dating is weird,
Suddenly I'm popular,
When it rains, it pours

Long distance things and
Catnip to Hungarians,
I'm tempted to ask

Their viewpoint on the
Pedestrianisation
Of Norwich centre

Bant

rubbish, I don't think you should feel embarrassed sending the text. I think it's gone far enough for you to tell him how you feel about his behaviour and that it's not acceptable anymore.

I got rid of mine by seeing other men and making sure he knew about it.

Bant I agree that on line dating is a strange world in last 2 years or so there has been Mr I want to be called sir, the one called me fat on the date, plus the do you want to ....... and that is the first message lol

Bant are you from Norwich? I am v much looking forward to seeing Alpha Papa.

My strangest OD experience was the guy who turned up to a first date with a RING. I ran a fucking mile.

Agreed rubbish you don't want to give this twat any more energy.

From abusive ex I have learned that however painful it is to hold back on what you want to say, in the end it's better not to make contact if in the end you don't want this person in your life. It's just expending energy on someone who doesn't deserve it.

oh god and 'what's your filthiest fantasy' as the first message

Also the ones who decide you are the One For Them and then get increasingly angry as you fail to respond. They then send 2 or 3 annoyed messages finishing with (a recent example) 'you are clearly not as intelligent as you think you are, either intellectually or emotionally' (this because I am an academic and say so on profile. LOL)

Well my filthiest fantasy is stripping to my underwear and standing in the wheelie bin whilst rubbing body vigorously with bin sludge and singing Land Of Hope And Glory.

Afternoon everyone

grinchie I love it. I'm going to nick it for future pervs to enjoy :D

Surely tho should be singing a truly filthy song. Such as 'my old man's a dustman'

my hideous letch of an (ex) next door neighbour once asked "so whats the filthiest thing you've ever done?" I told him about when I went to bed on a Meditteranean Beach and when I woke up I realised that part of the beach was particularly soft because as I'd been lying on a heap of discarded fish heads.

hahahahaa Juliette

now that was a rude awakening eh, nudge wink etc

Nasty man. He moved out a few months ago and only now after 9 years of living here do I feel happy putting my washing out. Viagra plus Sky adult channels have a lot answer for.

Kitty - well I once met a girl who wanted to know if I was okay with her calling me Sir. I firmly told her No, which she seemed to enjoy.

Hostess - I agree that no more time should be wasted on him but I feel that I want to get it off my chest! Not that it would do any good as he won't give a shit but I just feel like I need to do it

Bant

The funny thing is he is a lecturer now so I'm presume he gets called sir a lot !

MsApp and Bant I love the haiku thing. Genius.

Online dating?s weird.
Willy shots and men with odd
Chat-ups and hang-ups.

Too many first dates,
With no spark and no snogging.
Then suddenly one

Short message gets sent.
Two lives change, just because of
Strokes on a keyboard.

Family - don't want to call you Rubbish! - was your message rude in the sense of insulting or in the sense of sexting? Whichever way, I think I might be tempted to leave it. It can be quite cathartic to write a ranting e-mail or letter and then delete it/tear it up. Sorry, I'm not really impressed with any of this trio - maybe you should chuck 'em all back and try again!

Kitty have you never met then? Probably best to meet up asap otherwise things can easily get out of all proportion in your mind and it all comes to nothing when you actually meet.

Lla attitude sounds spot on.

And Hostess what else can I say apart from ? Have a bloody fantastic night with him. I am a big fan of Underwear with a capital U btw so I'll say go for it with the full rig.

Lovely messaging with Alpha today, not doing very well at concentrating at work. I don't think he is either. The good thing about this is that he is at least as bad as me, which is very reassuring. He's coming over for tea on Wednesday, can't wait.

Rubbish you know the best thing you could do is simply delete him from your phone and life and ignore. If you have to send a text how about something really cold and clinical?

Bant will you see Derby again over the long weekend?

Urgh Juliette... pervy Viagra-charged neighbour sounds grim!!
OWW that is a very poetic and touching haiku. No need for you to be you have the whole deal going on with Alpha by the looks of it!!
Yep I need to dig out the suspenders and buy a pair of stockings which have not been shredded/motheaten

kittykat I don't think lecturers get called sir... no one ever called me Madam LOL and I am one. You get the odd 'miss' from first years but it wears off.