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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Dating Thread - episode 61

999 replies

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 21:44

BOOM!

OP posts:
lurkinglorna · 18/08/2013 23:10

(but yesterday i didn't have a hot 25 year old lad Sad)

OP posts:
Djangounhinged · 18/08/2013 23:14

Hello Lorna, hmmm thread WAG, not quite yet but I'm tempted to change my username anyway Grin. Loving the idea of you and Dr Pashing parking your skip outside European's flat, that'll give him something to moan about!!

Wine sounds like an interesting experience - amazing vagina, oh my! Maybe you could add that into your profile....

Bant and OWW thanks re red flag advice, torn between the two schools of thought but it's really early days so we'll see what date 2 brings.

Re. OD and confidence. At first I found POF mildly terrifying, would be pretty hacked off if nobody responded to my Meet Mes or would tail off almost instantly after a couple of messages, and it would get me down after a couple of weeks. A few months down the line and I actually feel it boosts my confidence - I know that I'm quite a catch, but I also know that there are lots of men who are looking for something different to me and that's fine, they're not right for me anyway. So if you're new to OD - stick at it! You get better at weeding out, and if at first you don't succeed.... NEXT!

Djangounhinged · 18/08/2013 23:16

Tories, what are they? We don't get them round these parts any more...

Glad you had a good holiday DFU :)

lurkinglorna · 18/08/2013 23:28

D yeah i feel you there, exactly the same experience with OD? Smile big confidence boost!

I mean in terms of "straight stats" I don't exactly think I'm top of the market (I have to put the time/work in, contact men first, get ignored lots etc)

but its somewhat reassuring knowing I can "access a fresh new pool of potential dates" regularly? and the process is actually quite fun (i've realised one of the benefits of POF being free is I can close my profile down and make a new one regularly, so going to the sofa is always an option!)

OP posts:
Pomegranatenoir · 18/08/2013 23:30

Omg 3 1/2 hours and we haven't finished chatting yet!!!

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 19/08/2013 00:57

Ok, so there's way too much for me to catch up on with my phone so this will be a wholly unashamed whoop! I've just had (well, an hour ago) a phone call from Mr RL telling me he wants me, he is very interested etc. This was preceeded and followed by delightfully cheeky texts Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

Did I mention I'm Grin ?

lurkinglorna · 19/08/2013 01:03

Grin Pom

Grin Title

OP posts:
TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 19/08/2013 01:14

I badly need to go to sleep but I can't, I'm too excited Grin

Pomegranatenoir · 19/08/2013 06:53

Oh god I drank 4 glasses of wine. I can't actually remember much of what I said but remember thinking he was lovely, funny and cool. I am an idiot!!

We are going to meet in next couple of days if I can get a sitter. After chatting we texted for ages. Neither of us could sleep!!

I am feeling anything but fresh this morning!!!

Djangounhinged · 19/08/2013 07:08

Pom and Title GrinGrinGrin!

Did either of you get any sleep in the end? Exciting times Smile

Morning all!

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 19/08/2013 08:23

4am I managed it! I look like something worse than death so its a good job he's not here! I'm still Grin In fact it is entirely possible that I slept like this Grin

The tragedy is I'm not seeing him until next week but I think being as I know him pretty well already it will be cool.

I'm so excited! Grin Grin

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 19/08/2013 08:26

In fact that was a stupid thing to say - I know him really well. I just meant that it will be easy to stay in touch and chat cos we do already so its not like I'm worried he'll go off the boil like with od people. Does that make sense?!

OhWesternWind · 19/08/2013 08:41

Great stuff Title and Pom! Really excited for you both.

kittykat10 · 19/08/2013 09:25

Not sure if this the place but I got dumped a few months back but thinking back I think it was the freedom he gave me more than him.
Any way I'd met some one on line last year we got on as mates but nothing else in Jan he tried to set me up with his best friend but he was wary and nothing came of it but Sat he said he'd been trying to ask me out I said meet me then and he did I had a great time and could have stayed all afternoon , he says he want to see me again and so do I.
But I'm worried about going to fast again and messing it up!
I think there is a spark there and well never kissed like that on a first date before any tips ladies

Flipper934 · 19/08/2013 09:53

Good stuff still happening, here, then? Carry on...

Title and Pom, good starts...

Nora, love, the woo will get you when it's ready.

Lorna, sounds far too complicated for me!

Wine, go you (and your amazing vagina)!

As for looks in OD, I'm certainly no 10, but I think I'm passably attractive. I don't, however, take a good picture, so I struggled to find ones for my OD profile. We were assembling a scrap book of pictures of our team at work recently for a colleague's retirement, and I laughed about the fact that I always look like I'm pulling a face. I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or not when someone piped up "but that's how we always see you".

Some good looking men (and I'd guess women, too) are knobs, and use their looks, while others know that looks aren't everything. I think people can fall into the same trap when 'judging' others - for some people looks override personality, and for others an ugly personality is a massive turn off, however attractive the person is. Having said that, the most stunningly good looking men I've met have turned out to be people that I'd rather just look at than have anything else to do with.

I agree with Bant about confidence being attractive. I particularly liked what you said about talking to someone, knowing that by doing so you'll improve their evening. That, dear Thread, is how we should all feel.

Flipper934 · 19/08/2013 09:55

Hello, Kitty. What do you want to happen? Have you made plans to see him again?

OhWesternWind · 19/08/2013 10:02

Hi Kitty - I'm just wondering how things have changed since January when you were just friends. Do you think he's a bit of a grower? If you both want to see each other, then why not? You can take it as slowly as you want to, and if he's a decent guy he will respect that. Are you worried you will get a bit carried away or that he will pressure you for more?

kittykat10 · 19/08/2013 10:09

I was dating some one else but liked him .we'd been texting and I said I was seeing some one he'd obviously said something to his mate who then told me that this bloke was disappointed I was with someone.
Since June with have tested most days and last few weeks it's been getting rather flirty .

kittykat10 · 19/08/2013 10:11

No plans made yet but both said like to see each other again

rubbishfamily333 · 19/08/2013 10:13

Hey everyone well I havnt been on the thread for a while (again) mrworkaholic had been around again and now he has gone quiet again! Well on the weekend I got very drunk and sent him an embarrassing and rude message Confused now I feel very embarrassed.

Also when I was out I met a few guys and gave my number out. One guy I was chatting to seems quite sweet but decided to tell me he has a foot fetish by text. He said he would like to take me out when he comes back from holiday so I'll see how that goes.

Also another guy text me who I don't even remember speaking to and I defiantly don't remember giving him my number. But I dont remember giving the other guy my number either Confused

And both guys are 25 and I'm 28. It's seems everywhere I go there dad the guys are younger.

kittykat10 · 19/08/2013 10:24

Younger can be good tho !

OhWesternWind · 19/08/2013 10:26

Hello Family I am thinking you are a name changer! I don't know that MrW is right for you - he seems very hot and cold and it's not really what you seem to need or want.

I would be wary of anyone sending texts about fetishes before you've even been on a date! But it could be worth going out with him after his hols to see how it goes, but keep your eyes wide open here. What are you going to do about the mystery man?

I don't think that three years' age difference is a big deal really unless it's bothering you. Things will look up, just remember to hold out for what you want and don't settle for the crumbs.

Kitty go for it and meet up with him, sounds fine.

Llareggub · 19/08/2013 10:36

Hello! After my disgraceful behaviour on our first date, I have had lots of lovely texts about date number 2. I'm off on hols for a few days and I have had a very sweet text about how weird he feels about missing someone he has only met once.

He seems very lovely, but after a lifetime of fuckwits bad relationships I have a big cynical side. I am trying to suppress it whilst also listening to it.

kittykat10 · 19/08/2013 10:44

I guess I'm just wary. But on the plus side he seems attracted to me physically as well talking to me , he'd not seen a proper pic of me till Friday night !

JulietteMontague · 19/08/2013 11:00

Family I think I recognize you from a while back. Agree W seems like hard work, is he really worth it to you?