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Original poster

The Dating Thread - episode 61

999 replies

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 21:44

BOOM!

OP posts:
Flipper934 · 10/08/2013 11:20

Place marking with a Grin for all those experiencing good woo at the moment. Nora, yours is a very special kind of woo that cannot be rushed.

Date 4 last night. Smile. Not saying anymore because I've discovered he's a MNer .

Flipper934 · 10/08/2013 11:22

Whoops, forgotten to welcome the new folk! Welcome, it's lovely to see new people getting out there and dating. It really is fun and worth all the weird bits once you get into the swing of it.

Djangounhinged · 10/08/2013 11:43

Thanks OWW, I've PMd you...

Gin I'll come back to you with comments soon :)

KinNora · 10/08/2013 11:54

Oooooh at date 4 Flipper and double ooooh at him being an MNer - tricky , eh ?

( sad face at delayed woo, I could do with a bit now as I'm having a mopey day)

My profound sympathies to The and Gin dealing with intestinal disturbances - nasty.

justmeandmytwo · 10/08/2013 12:18

Hi again! Thank you for the replies yesterday, sorry I didn't get the chance to come on last night. He doesn't live too far away for a relationship to be possible, I used to travel there every day for work. It would purely be so that we could both enjoy a drink without worrying about public transport.

I took the plunge and said that I would, he's said that he will book the travelodge and a restaurant this weekend. However, I had a brain wave and suggested that maybe he could come to me and stay in a travelodge in my neck of the woods (I just think I'd feel more comfortable on home turf). But... he said maybe on the second date as he would like to take me to a specific restaurant. Does this still sound ok? Am I worrying about nothing?

I've been on blind dates before and also some from dating sites years ago, but never travelled further afield (well, out of my comfort zone anyway) and have never stayed overnight on a first date, albeit in a travelodge alone.

Any opinions/ advice/ tips greatly appreciated!

ps- absolutely loved Bant's scale of dates Grin

justmeandmytwo · 10/08/2013 12:36

Also, what is usual dating etiquette, we have only been texting, is it usual to actually speak on the phone prior to meeting? Wow, I really know nothing about modern day dating, and am only 30 Confused

OhWesternWind · 10/08/2013 12:37

Hello Just - hmm I'm not sure about this. The restaurant and stop over seems a lot for a first date. If he's going to be paying for it all, that might set up certain tensions, bit awkward if you don't like him.

I think your plan of him coming to your town, just for a couple of drinks, is a much better first date option. Save the restaurant for later if you get on and want to meet up again.

OhWesternWind · 10/08/2013 12:41

I wouldn't speak on the phone beforehand. I find it a bit awkward. But I know some people do, and/or Skype them. Purely up to you and what you feel comfortable with.

In fact, don't worry about etiquette, full stop. Just do what feels right and what you're comfortable with.

KinNora · 10/08/2013 12:46

Just I think I probably wouldn't be particularly keen on a man who appeared to be insisting on something, does he know that you're not entirely comfortable with staying in the Travelodge nearer his home ?

The texting is fine, I hate talking to what are effectively strangers on the phone and I seem to remember that several people on here feel similarly uncomfortable about it.

justmeandmytwo · 10/08/2013 12:47

I thought the same Western, he said he would pay for the travelodge but i would half the bill for restaurant I would imagine. I just don't know how to go about getting the arrangements changed now. When I suggested he came to me and stayed in a travelodge instead, he wasn't keen at all. Help!

Bant · 10/08/2013 12:48

Hi just, hmm tricky.
Personally I'd never offer to book (is he offering to pay too?) someone into a hotel when I've never met them. It has an uncomfortable implication that they'd owe me something more than the price of a coffee or wine, that I was planing on getting them trolleyed and the insistence on showing then a particular restaurant implies that I'm not willing to compromise. I just get a negative feeling, but I've been wrong before.

I got winked at by a woman with a photo that is so bad I had to check her profile to see why. She's not the most stunning woman anyway but she chose a main photo with shadows across her face turning her chin dark brown and giving her a brown nose. It's just a very weird picture. She looks like an Orc. So now of course she's messaged me in Hungarian, even though I said in my profile (in Hungarian) ' I don't speak Hungarian)

I skyped with mermaid for 3 hours last night. Met her dad as she was at her parents. Odd. We're planning how to see each other once a month at the moment.

Bant · 10/08/2013 12:49

Just - it really doesn't sound good. I'd cancel if I were you. There are plenty more men without all the red flags

justmeandmytwo · 10/08/2013 12:59

Thank you, I think I will. I can't see him budging on arrangements without a fight, even then it may be awkward after. It doesn't feel completely right but put it down to lack of experience and nerves.

Sounds fab with mermaid btw, reminds me of a romantic movie.

Ginocchio · 10/08/2013 12:59

Title no, I haven't. is it any good? Am currently drinking Brecon Gin - very nice!

Ginocchio · 10/08/2013 13:00

Wait, not currently - I can usually make it to at least mid-afternoon before the kids drive me to the bottle Grin

justmeandmytwo · 10/08/2013 13:01

How shall I do it? Lie and make something up, tell the truth and say I'm not comfortable with it? Does it even matter?

KinNora · 10/08/2013 13:08

Just you can say whatever is easiest for you but do not put up with any crap from him.

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 10/08/2013 13:09

It is loveliness of loveliness Smile I was a Bombay Sapphire girl through and through but I went to stay with friends recently and they had some. I'm not sure whether you have a Waitrose near you, it's been a few years since I lived that way, but it's worth tracking down.

So, do you mean currently as in right now or it's the bottle that's open? Even with my gin lurve, it's a bit early for me! Wink

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 10/08/2013 13:09

x post!

justmeandmytwo · 10/08/2013 13:16

Have said...
me- *Navy
Navy- yes
me- I'm not really comfortable staying over in your neck of the woods you know...
Navy- Ok, so why don't we meet for coffee or a drink for an hour or so near you?
Me- lets :)

Well, that was easier than I thought

KinNora · 10/08/2013 13:28

Blimey Just I'm impressed that went so well, perhaps he has potential after all

justmeandmytwo · 10/08/2013 13:30

I am too Kin, who knows eh? Coffee on Sunday afternoon instead. Now this is a first, a 'date' without a trusty vino for nerves...

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 10/08/2013 13:33

Gin for Gin

Bant · 10/08/2013 13:41

Yep, well dealt with just.

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 10/08/2013 13:52

Phew! [WFF wipes her brow] I've caught up at last, thank goodness!

Aw Bant it's looking like you're going to have something rather special there. Yay!

Morning All, big hugs and cheers for all the good news and people making good solid decisions... Just he's cool, how easy was that?Smile

Budge up vipers WFF is launching herself for a sofa dive!Grin