The Dating Thread - episode 61

[lurkinglorna]

BOOM!

No-one closer to home?

You're always welcome, Bill and I have a genuinely lovely single friend.
Though you'll have to get in quick, she's lovely and I predict she won't be single for long.

Loving the bromance on the thread. Bill and Bant in Budapest could be dangerous for the locals...

It is really quite difficult to not pull here, if you're reasonably attractive, British and have any idea how to talk to a woman. And a beard.

You'd love it bill. Only problem is if you're looking for something more serious than a bit of fun it's tough to find someone who's not potentially looking for a meal ticket. Weeding those out is the tough part

Oh for those of you who do ever go to Hungary. Tipping is annoying. I just had a meal, local food, not bad, and a couple of beers. Bill comes to about 12 quid roughly. The bill also adds a service charge of 10%, no problem, service wasn't great but fine. This is 4400 forints in the local currency

So I pay with a 10000 forint note, as I don't have any 5000 forint notes on me. The waiter said 'everything okay?' And I say yes, fine

It turns out 'everything okay' means ' I have to give you no change because you are foreign, okay?'

So that's 33 quid for a 12 quid meal, when they'd put a service charge on the tab.

I love arguing with Hungarians. They have a general negative self image anyway so I just need to say a few choice things to make them apologise and refund my meal. Which I refused but still. They will try and rip foreigners off but they do eventually feel guilty about it.

This is not strictly related to dating, I know. I'll try and pull my socks up. But not when wearing sandals

bant I'd just ask for my change .. And stay until they have me it on principle

Off out in half an hour - he's taking me for a romantic dinner . No action tonight though due to after effects, have promised I will behave myself. Not bothered well only a bit It will just be lovely to see him.

Good luck to anyone else who's out tonight - or, indeed, who's in

Sorry to butt in with another me me me post but could someone please help me phrase this without sounding like an idiot? So I met someone and have been seeing him for about 2 months, dates once a week or so. Been to his, he's been to mine (not when DS is here). I got the impression he might be after a casual arrangement which I'm not as I know I will become attached to him. He hasn't asked to do anything this week but have been swapping texts, just making small talk. He has text me asking if I want to do something next week and I responded saying yes sure, and that I had a feeling he was going off the whole idea. He's responded saying something along the lines of 'we have a laugh and a great time don't we? Why would I go off it?' Which leads me nicely into a response about 'I don't just want a casual arrangement as I do quite like you'. Obviously I'm not going to say that but...that is what I want to say in a less clumsy and needy way, please help! (I realise I sound about 12)

I think I would blow up in a stereotype Outraged Western Tourist style if a waiter tried to keep all my change.

thefox I think you just need to say it in a charming and non needy way eg that you really like him- or something couched in a positive appreciative way. I think what he said sounds promising.

Further up the thread someone mentioned pictures vs Pictures. I think we can safely say that Cityboy wants Pictures. He hasn't had any, and is still in touch. But I'm a bit :/

I wouldn't send Pictures under any circumstances. And anyone who asked more than once would be binned instantly. If you're not comfortable with it and you've made that clear it doesn't bode well.

The fox - ask what he's looking for in a relationship?

Yoga he didnt ask more than once and has been very nice in other respects. It's a bit odd but I do find it jarring.

hostess- well I agree I would find it jarring as well just to be asked. But if he's taken your no in good form and you like him maybe wait and see how things progress..but with caution?

Fox, the way he said about the fun is exactly what my ex, who never committed to me said. I think you are right to question it.

No Pictures from me either, I would be annoyed to be asked but be firm then hopefully they won't say anything again, or they are dumped.

I read the most depressing blog today, written by a man. It basically said that men fall in love quite quickly and if they haven't in say a month or two they never will. Apparently women take longer and weigh it up before they fall in love and hope that they catch up but waiting is futile.

Also, men are happy to have a casual thing with women in a lower league as it's hard to find someone who wants them in their league as these women get propositioned by better looking men. Also, if a man comes to chat you up brimming with confidence he doesn't like you that much as he would be nervous if he did.

Please guys on the thread, is this all true? Now I know where I've been going wrong .

Sorry to put a downer on the thread.

scrazy what blog was it? I love reading those things!!

fox I think you have every right to check you both want same things. Could you just be direct with him and ask by text. Least that way he will have chance to think about his reply and you will have chance to digest it.

hostess I'd hate the Picture request. That type of thing never really goes away either. If he is willing to show his cards to you this early on then maybe you need to listen to what he is saying to you. If you are happy with sending pictures then happy days but if not then you may want different things bedroom/ sexting wise. Disclaimer- I over think everything so feel free to ignore me!!!!

Feeling rubbish about od tonight. Been messaging couple of men but 5 kids man isn't right. I was messaging out of boredom. Then another man I was messaging is ridiculously overprotective about his life (due to his job, I semi understand this!) and has failed to reply to my last message. All I asked was if he was originally from the city where we both live!!! Feeling very meh about od tonight.... I need a boost!!!

Scrazy, no. Apparently not true. Nameless said 'I love you' six months, two weeks after we met. I would personally mistrust anyone who said that they loved you within a month. This blog is one man. He does not speak for all men, just as I do not speak for all women.

Nameless away back to nameless towers. Had glorious day, where we managed to drag ourselves from bed to sofa, but ended up back in bed. Then back on sofa. Then decided that the sofa is actually a bed, so engaged in bed related activities not sleeping on the sofa. There has been a lot more L-wording not 'lesbian'.

Fucking hell, I'm so ridiculously happy. Have job interview on Wednesday for £20k hike Hoping my general glow will ride me through.

I think what I am trying to say here, is OD is really fucking difficult at times. It's really hard to filter out a bunch of 'hi babez u lok sexi' nonsense, or meet disappearers, or fuck and runs... But this thread is full of lovely, genuine people (thank you all for your well-wishes!) we all are or were all OD, to varying degrees of success. It can be extremely wearing. (Been there) and without wishing to sound gloaty, keep on. Filter, keep your standards and try to have faith.

I'll post occasionally. I'll still read, because I like to keep up with you all, but I'm going to sail off into the sunset as I am at risk of being really fucking annoying now.

I am a lurker on this thread but have to add my experience from this week :)

Had a date on Wednesday, we were then going to agree to meet later on, agreed to meet tomorrow but the guy stopped communicating what in my book means - he chickened out

I am an experienced "dater" and know that behaviour from the past. Is it only me who (if I wasn't interested) would send a text back saying - sorry but not interested

are ALL men from internet dating that rude still not to cancel dates and just stop communicating?

the funny thing is - you meet them, they are all polite and courteous and when it comes to saying - no, thanks they are unable to do it?

even though I am familiar with this behaviour I still can't believe that they behave this way :)

luckily he wasn't really my type but thought I would give it one more date to decide either way and I don't think I was giving off vibes that I was uninterested

it was actually me who suggested the time and what I would like to do - it does work against me but I don't play games and because I like to know what's going on - I ask

Snape, but did he feel it quickly and just not say it? I know what you mean about being cautious with early declarations but the guy might be holding off saying it.

I don't know which blog it was, sorry, I don't have history on this laptop. I guess the guy was a shag merchant who was at the same time trying to find 'the one'.

But you can tell. Maybe. How someone looks at you, how they treat you, how they sign off texts with a kiss, ask how you are, text you because they see something that reminds them of you... We all have different expectations and standards & those aren't necessarily universal, but...

I think you kind of know before someone says 'it' it's just good to hear it.

I've had a few men tell me they love me quickly, and maybe they did, so there might be some truth in it. I've also been fooled quite recently before that I get the vibes a man does when he didn't ever say it.

It was the out of her league stuff that I found depressing. Just watching The Ugly Truth film which is saying the same stuff, oh dear!

I really don't like mashed potato, its claggy and makes me gag.

I think it's true about men being nervous if they really like you. Exh used to stand on the door step and do this funny nervous dance. Mr hot and cold glares at me if I look nice. If I didn't know better it would make me v uncomfortable bit he confessed once it was sheer terror the first time that he's bitten off more than he could chew with me he he

Then there was two.
One date who I didn't fancy but seemed lovely apart from going out on the lash way too much for my liking.
The other I fancied but he talked too much about himself.
Maybe neither are right. How fussy are you at dating?
Do you make a decision quickly? Or continue seeing someone a few times and risk getting caught in the trap of being in a relationship with someone you never really liked?

Somehow I feel you "know" after your firs date. Is it pheromones or some vibes - but that actually works for me every time :)

I have managed to survive a day with XH without any bloodshed which is good. Just been reminded of the many little reasons why he is XH

He goes at some point tomorrow, hopefully sooner rather than later...