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Original poster

The Dating Thread - episode 61

999 replies

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 21:44

BOOM!

OP posts:
JoylessFucker · 15/08/2013 15:45

Oh & Juliette sounds like your DS has got a great option there. Such a bloody pity that the system means you both had to go through the stress and strain to get to it.

How're things with you & yours Kin?

OhWesternWind · 15/08/2013 15:48

Brilliant news for your ds Juliette, really chuffed. Celebrating tonight I hope Grin

Bant · 15/08/2013 16:03

Well done to juliette's DS.

Original poster
lurkinglorna · 15/08/2013 16:07

many congratulations Juliette DS Smile

OP posts:
KinNora · 15/08/2013 16:09

I'm laughing as I imagine Juliette kicking ass on the other thread, I almost want to encourage you ...

DS1 has been remarkably pleasant due to getting the grades he needs to be a lawyer of the future (god help us all) and is playing a gig with his band tonight, I imagine it will be like The Pistols are playing The Free Trade Hall all over again.

Scrazy the photo of Spud and I mainly features him laughing at an obviously hilarious joke I'd just made and my breasts attempting to escape a corset you've not missed much.

Bant · 15/08/2013 16:13

I'm mistaken, the Nurse contacted me first I think and we had drunken pashing (love that word) on the first date and then the chemistry disappeared on the second.

But in my city there are maybe 80 active women on the 3 sites I've looked at in my age range (30-44). Some don't seem to speak English from their profile. Some I just don't fancy. Most of the ones I could fancy, I've contacted. I've had 5 dates out of the 30 or so I mailed, several second dates, a couple of third dates or more.

There are several who have winked at me who look ok but their profile is a bit meh. I've replied to them and the conversation was also meh.

One who mailed me first was married. A couple of them just weren't attractive. I've had next to no luck with being contacted by women here, but then it's a different culture and I've been dating here longer than I was before I left the uk, so maybe I'm just out of touch :)

I miss living in the UK. Lots.

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 15/08/2013 16:16

I don't know your back story bant. How long have you been there and how long will you be?

OhWesternWind · 15/08/2013 16:21

Excellent stuff Nora's ds too! Fabulous results. Is he more pleased about the exams or the gig?

Anyway, Bant, what are you complaining about? Thought you were off the sites and in with the Mermaid!

Llareggub · 15/08/2013 16:36

Just thought I'd join in. I was one of these threads ages ago, when I started a relationship with an ex-boyfriend and stopped OD. We're now just friends (again, it has been this way for three decades!) and I have a first date tomorrow night.

I hate first dates. We've been texting and chatting a lot on IM and we have a lot in common. We both have DCs so it has taken a while to get to this first date. I have been told by a previous date that I am hard work to flirt with. How can I better?!

Bant · 15/08/2013 16:38

Apparently it's all in the wrists. Ohwesternwind can give you more info

KinNora · 15/08/2013 16:39

Thank you OWW his band get quite a few gigs so he's pretty blasé about that, he's chuffed to little bits about the exam results.

Are you and Alpha feeling fairly relaxed about his results ?

Bant · 15/08/2013 16:41

I'm not complaining, oww :) I'm skyping and mailing the mermaid all the time. Just trying to give a mans perspective on dating, and how 'any luck?' isn't a court martial offence. Give them a chance if their profile seems ok, it's far better than 'hey babez' they just might not be the best at opening lines

Original poster
lurkinglorna · 15/08/2013 16:45

Llareggub

hi! Smile

gotta say, that previous date sounds like a bit of a plonker - "hard to flirt with" sounds like he was the socially inept one, not you.

its a meeting between two strangers, so just treat it like a chat and you're both sussing each other out, seeing how easily you spend time together. almost like colleagues or new friends?

it shouldn't be hard work, i think i'm mainly checking to see if the guy is polite and easy to talk to in as "natural" a way as possible (and i presume he's doing the same with me) not feeling like i've got to "act a certain way to impress" just because we've met on a dating site? if the guy has social skills and you have a connection it'll be easy to spot.

if he's peering at you going "you should be easier work" then i'd probably go Hmm and make an excuse...

Nora congratulations Nora DS!

OP posts:
Llareggub · 15/08/2013 16:53

I agree - in fairness the chap said that around date 4. I suspect I wasn't flirting really - just lonely! I am not lonely at all now but reflecting back on past dates. Suitable men are few and far between where I now live.

I've also had relationships with a certain type of man and I wish to avoid making the same mistake again, so I have done a lot of thinking through about what I what from a relationship.

Original poster
lurkinglorna · 15/08/2013 17:05

sounds good to me Llareggub, always good to have an idea of what you're after! Smile what's the plan for the meet/date?

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 15/08/2013 17:15

Agh Kin I just couldn't help myself. I won't be returning, I can hear Helen Mirren in the background shouting "leave it! she ain't wurf it" Grin

OhWesternWind · 15/08/2013 18:45

Bant that's lovely. Have you sorted out when you can meet up?

Nora I think we're both trying not to dwell on bad possibilities, consultant said signs were good, so it's just waiting now. A month is a long time to wait though. I'm just looking forward to him getting the all clear then we're away Grin. I've gone a bit daft over this bloke.

KinNora · 15/08/2013 19:05

OWW a month is a long time to wait, I find it slightly surprising.

It's lovely to go daft over someone though, isn't it ? It's what makes the world go round.

Llareggub · 15/08/2013 19:47

We are meeting for drinks tomorrow night. We live very close to each other so within stumbling distance of both our houses. We also have friends on common which makes me feel a little bit safer.

Original poster
lurkinglorna · 15/08/2013 19:49

sounds good Llareggub Smile good luck!

OP posts:
Overtheraenbow · 15/08/2013 20:09

Had a message from Jazz man today" I will meet you at 1409 onthursday at xx" now I'm thinking it could be a typo... and was going to make a joke about it " phew that's a bit specific what if I turn up at 1410 haha!" Kind of thing . But I did that once before and asked if it was a Freudian slip as rather rude word came up on typo and guy explained he was dyslexic and thanks for pointing it out as he tried really hard to spellcheck everything ... Cringe!! Blush

So any ideas how I answer that one ?? If he seriously expects me to be there at 1409 I'm not sure i wan to go , as I have a European attitude to time keeping developed from living abroad for many years am always late

Original poster
lurkinglorna · 15/08/2013 20:12

typo i think Smile remind me, is this first meet or second meet? was he ok the first meet?

OP posts:
48howdidthathappen · 15/08/2013 20:21

Raen Typo. Maybe reply '1409ish'.

KinNora · 15/08/2013 20:50

No Rae even as a fully paid up timekeeping fascist I would never ask to meet someone at 14.09, it must be a typo

Pomegranatenoir · 15/08/2013 20:52

1409ish! Hilarious!! Surely he has got to be kidding??

Glad that exam results have worked out well for our board's kids!! Must be super stressful times!!

Well the man took the text well - got a decent reply off him the next day. It definitely was the right thing to do.

Been messaging another man on Pof that I have been messaging on and off for a while. Turns out he has got 5 children! That's a lot isn't it!!

There doesn't seem to be any new men in there - same old sharks still swimming round! Need to find a new pond I think!!!