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Original poster

The Dating Thread - episode 61

999 replies

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 21:44

BOOM!

OP posts:
48howdidthathappen · 12/08/2013 21:52

Ham Do not mention the C word Shock

Are you really ok waiting that long?

OhWesternWind · 12/08/2013 22:06

Ham Christmas is a long time off, and the longer things go on the harder it can be to end them. Did you know him already before you started dating?

Castro just see how it goes. Chances are there won't be a spark so no need to have the conversation. If there is, no need to get into anything any sooner than you feel comfortable with and if he's worth it, he'll wait.

Hamwidgeandcheps · 12/08/2013 22:11

Yeh. Wish I could elaborate more but cannot risk outing him to stalker exh. I have just decided that this person/relationship could be worth the wait/patience and that actually my massive paranoia aside things have actually been really good. Mr h and c quite firm that we are to take things slowly. I think I had to accept what that means - in terms of relationship not just physical stuff.
I am v preoccupied by it. In a good way Wink

Djangounhinged · 12/08/2013 22:58

Oh that was quite beautiful OWW, now that's firmly stuck in my head Grin . He is trouble with a capital T, but I can definitely feel a snog coming on - first one in ages!

48 my word, you really did have a good weekend - hope you have time to recover!

Castro I don't tend to see guys again if I know there's no potential for them to be the one - I just think I'd come across as insincere. But it's each to their own really.

Djangounhinged · 12/08/2013 23:00

charlottesmum5 I hope you got some PMs, I don't use match.... But if you ever set up with POF or OKC give me a shout :)

48howdidthathappen · 12/08/2013 23:35

Django have recovered sufficiently for tomorrow night. While you are admiring a hamstring, I will be ......

grinchie · 12/08/2013 23:38

48 hamming an admire string?
Oh no, wait......... Blush

grinchie · 12/08/2013 23:40

Charlotte I've PMd you.

I've been out meteor spotting with Ironman & the blessing (my DC) this evening Smile

48howdidthathappen · 12/08/2013 23:41

I will whatever you are on Grinchie Grin

Kirstywirsty · 13/08/2013 09:36

OWW when does alpha get his results

grinchie meteor spotting sounds great

OhWesternWind · 13/08/2013 10:37

Not for another month Kirstie which is a bit of a long wait (both for the results and then fingers crossed to finally get him to bed - not sure if he'll hold out that long though Grin )

Grinchie all sounds lovely, you too Kirstie

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 13/08/2013 12:39

Morning AllSmile

Bit quiet on The Thread... as long as all is well, it's okay.

WFF resumes ripping up carpets...

X

Original poster
lurkinglorna · 13/08/2013 12:48

I think bant uses match.com charlottesmum Smile BANT!

OP posts:
Original poster
lurkinglorna · 13/08/2013 12:57

OWW sending good vibes for alpha!

yay on Django and sexy (but trouble) footballers Smile YOLO!

OP posts:
PlotTwist · 13/08/2013 13:23

I keep losing this thread, so I'm commenting to bookmark it :D

Three messages this week on okc. I haven't replied to any of them. (too old, too young, and too weird) sigh

TheTitleSaysItAllReally · 13/08/2013 15:22

Been a bit quiet here dating-wise because my real life has been on a collision course with a barrel load of shit and a fan. It's times like this I laugh hollowly at me thinking I was ready to move on, that I have something to offer someone else.

But I want someone else Sad If the interlude with Mr Unlovely has taught me anything, its that I am happier when in a partnership.

Oh well. Less wallowing. More positive thinking.

Good vibes to all Smile

Pomegranatenoir · 13/08/2013 16:11

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since I've been on so apologies!! My life has been crazy and i have been lovkng my social life, time with kids and work. I haven't been able to catch up on everything but I will try over next few days

Oww - looks like you are still with alpha and happy! Yay!! Really pleased

48, snape, grinchie - yay for you too. Lovely to hear you are all still residents of happyland!!

I'm after a bit of advice please. I've been seeing someone for a little while. I use 'seeing' lightly because there has been 2 dates, no action but lots of calls and texting. Thing is I want to break things off because I just don't fancy him but he appears to be massively into me. He talks about our relationship (eh!?) and future and how comfortable he is with me. He tells me that I have my guard up because I've been hurt and that he wants to help me take it down. He is just toooooooo much. I can't deal with it and more importantly I don't want to deal with it from him. I think my guard is up because I don't fancy him not because I'm still hurt. It has made me feel a bit like I am incapable of feeling anything for anyone though and that doesn't feel all that great!!

Have you lovely lot got any tips on how i could call it a day with him?

Bant · 13/08/2013 16:21

Pom - "My guard is up because I've had to learn not to get involved with people when I think it's not right. This (you and me) doesn't feel right, sorry. Good luck for the future, you're a lovely guy but.. it's just not right for me"

Djangounhinged · 13/08/2013 16:29

Hi Pom, sounds like he has decided he wants a relationship with you whether you want one or not, which is a red flag in itself, surely Angry. If he's not listening to you, might be best just to end it and break contact? Not unusual to do that after just 2 dates, even if he has read more into it. Kinder to yourself, and to him, to be firm and final with him.

Well I am just about to walk my dog, then get myself ready for my date.... Plenty messages back and forth today, I get the impression he's nervous! Which is making me kinda nervous too...

Won't manage a loo update, but will check in later this eve...

Good luck to any other daters out there tonight! Smile

Pomegranatenoir · 13/08/2013 17:02

Thanks. He has decided he wants a relationship with me regardless of what I think. He doesn't get the whole playing it cool at all. He asks me all the time if I've been back on website and if I'm seeing other men. He keeps on asking why I say I don't need anyone. My explanation of saying I have got a happy life and can survive on my own means that I don't need anyone but that I would quite like to have someone to spend nice times with. I have made him sound like a bit of a loon. I don't think he is just maybe but inexperienced in dating as he is out of 20 year relationship.

He is showing lots of red flags. I have him too many chances already so I don't feel guilty about finishing it, I jut don't want to hurt him. He isn't a bad person just not for me.

Pomegranatenoir · 13/08/2013 17:03

dj good luck!!!! Hope it goes really well

ALittleStranger · 13/08/2013 17:37

Pom he isn't a bad person but he is acting poorly. Step away in the way that you feel is right/polite but don't feel you have to justify anything. It's been two dates, you don't fancy him, don't let his inappropriate behaviour distract you from the routineness of this.

MsApprehension · 13/08/2013 18:21

Pom good luck letting him down gently!

I am preparing for first date with Scientist at 8. Going to a cool bar. Not sure how to pitch dress code, bedroom looks like a jumble sale Grin

Moanranger · 13/08/2013 18:23

48, shape, Grinchie, OWW hooray!
Pom what stranger said. Looks like someone totally lacking in social skills & needs to be dealt with clearly & firmly. Block if need be. Kinder in the long run.
I think I am coming to terms with Meet Up guys time-keeping. Overall, he is such a sweetie; at the moment I await him, but there is no particular deadline & I have masses to do. ( Don't know if I mentioned that due to my split, I have moved MASSIVE houses & furniture twice in 6 months, plus a complete office move & IT system re-boot. Why am I not dead yet?)

OhWesternWind · 13/08/2013 19:38

Title really sorry life's a bit shit at the moment. Forgive me, though - I think you're wrong. You have an awful lot to offer someone - just from seeing you on here I know that you're a wonderful warm, funny, articulate woman who I'm sure many men would be proud to be with.

Pom oh dear, oh dear. Like everyone else says, you just have to bite the bullet and tell him firmly but kindly. He sounds far too intense and over-invested. Next! for you too.

Good luck Django and MsApp!

Moan glad you're feeling better about his timekeeping. I really like the sound of this one Smile - he sounds like one of the good 'uns.