Would you be happy with your son / daughter dating a single parent ?

[Bigbadticklemonster]

Just the title really would you care if your adult kids dated single parents ?

Yes I would be fine with it.

I'm a single parent I hope to "date" one day.

No.

But then I am one & was raised by one (a coincidence, not a trend).

I'd think it was a bit much if that DC of mine was was a young adult though, i.e under 23 or so as it's a very different ball game to dating a non-parent.

Would be more than happy.

Yes.

I'd want reassurance about a large age gap or if there was a difference in whether or not they both wanted children together, but I'd have those concerns in some situations regardless of whether they were dating a single parent!

I suppose it depends how old the adult kid was, at 18 I'd much rather they kept away from other people's baggage, but in their 30s it's to be expected really.

I would think that once you get over a certain age, there'd be more single parents in the dating scene than people without children?

My single friend is 32 and most of the men she has been on dates with recently have children ranging from 3 to 15 in age.

Also, if it was my DD getting together with a LP I'd feel differently, as most LP dads tend not to have the kid(s) as much as LP mums. Not always the case but more often than not from experience.

Depends on how old my son/daughter was, and how serious the relationship was.

depends on which single parent it was.

I WAS a single parent when I met my now husband. He's a lot younger than me too. We have no children together, but my son has an 8 month old, and my husband is the most hands-on grandpa you'll ever meet! In fact, my son thinks so highly of his stepfather the baby is named after him in entirety. A real honour and cements a great relationship.

I wouldn't worry. Many relationships have baggage these days, and who's to say it won't just fritter out anyway?

If your child can handle the responsibility of being somewhat responsible/considerate for his/her partner's child, then it will hopefully show a measure of maturity. A real learning curve anyway.

Don't fret the small stuff. And it has nothing to do with you anyway. I don't know how old your child is, but if you say no, are they more likely to say yes? I know my son would have done between the ages of 16 and 20. But it all worked out fine in the end.

Teeny

To be actually happy about it is a difficult one, I think I would be happy if I was sure they would be happy but I have no doubts at all that it would mean a much more difficult time for them than if they dated (and settled with) someone without children.

I've seen many friends in second relationships where children are involved and as well as the the balance of immediate needs there it also the conflict between treating the children as if they were your own but also being aware you have no legal rights and that your partner can prevent you being a part of their life. It is such a vulnerable role and it would be hard as a parent to see my child so vulnerable.

I know it is perfectly possible for it all to work out and if it does I would be over the moon for them but certainly to start with it would seem a big gamble.

Thank's for the replies . I'm a single parent in my 20's ,and after a recent experience I've just been worried that no parent would accept me as a sons choice of partner .

It would depend whether they were divorced/widowed/single and age of the child and exPs involvement.

In an ideal world I would prefer my children to have relationships without baggage but I wouldnt voice my opinion or interfere with their choice of partner.

It depends on the single parent in question, surely. I think the days of our 18 year olds aspiring to hang bloodied sheets out of the windows of fresh and innocent young stags are long gone.

Bigbad I was about to reply indignantly but saw your second post

I wouldn't worry about that at all. Dismissing someone as a viable partner or potential SIL/DIL because they are a single parent says a lot more about the dismisser than it does about the dismissee.

Oh dear.

Please don't worry

I'm almost 23 and have been with DP for almost a year (he's 26).

His parents have been lovely and his mum's brilliant with DS and has been nothing but welcoming. It came as quite a surprise when I first met them and was expecting all sorts of judgement and 20 questions!

Not everyone would be that fussed. It sounds like you just had a bad experience and are maybe feeling that way because of some of the judgements some people hold?

Bigbad - don't worry, I'd say there are plenty of parents out there that can be accepting of your situation.

Bigbad I'm in the same position as you. In 20s and a single parent.

(though tbf his mum was an LP when she met his dad and they went on to have 2 more, so I suppose she would've been pretty hypocritical to judge)!

after a recent experience I've just been worried that no parent would accept me as a sons choice of partner

Bigbad I've just seen your second post. Sorry for being flippant. Straight answer... no: I'd have no objection.

I am a single parent in my late 30s and I am dating. I would much prefer to meet a man without children, as I am reluctant to make my personal situation anymore complicated than it is already. That said, I would prefer people to be non-judgemental about my own situation.

I have a friend (a very good friend) who I have dated for some time. He struggles with the idea of "taking on" another man's children and although he likes mine a lot, I don't ever see a future for us. I would prefer him in my life than not and I have actually decided that while my children are so young I'd prefer not to have a man living with us.

As for the future, whether or not I would want my own boys dating a single parent would depend on the maturity of my own sons. It is a big commitment to make and I would want to be reassured that my sons had thought about the consequences of becoming involved in a child's life. It can do so much damage to have men in and out of their lives. But if they were willing to make a life time commitment, then I would be happy.

See, I assumed you were the parent worrying about your child!

While it's nice to get on with your in-laws, it's not the crux of the matter. It's your relationship that counts. Take it slowly and see what happens. Fun first, then see about commitment and relationships.

Teeny

I'd be unhappy about them being in a situation where they couldn't achieve their goals or do the things they've always dreamed about. My (young adult) children want to travel and to work abroad. I would prefer them not to be tied down until they were ready for that.

I'd also be worried about the ex partner/spouse and would hope there was an amicable break up.

Once they're in a position to settle down, though, it wouldn't worry me, but to be honest, I would be happier if they had their first experience of children together.

^ also, some people who've had no previous knowledge of LPs may have some funny ideas about what you want (I dated a guy whose parents thought i was looking for a daddy replacement that had money...lovely ) and it may sometimes be a case of ignorance that can be undone by watching the relationship unfold and getting to know you.