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Original poster

Is valentines day making anyone miserable :(

154 replies

Festivefly · 10/02/2004 12:39

I know i know i shouldn't even be going there but this week is making me really depressed. I can't get the thought of my x and his new love having a fantastic first valentines day. He was so great on valentines day and it is making me sick thinking of them having a wonderful night and then making love. Why do these horrible thoughts come to you. I am so jealous i hate her (and him)

OP posts:
turnupthebass · 10/02/2004 13:37

what are the deepest fears ff? (good to see you back by the way!)

iota · 10/02/2004 13:37

FF you are too young to have met Mr Right - I was 32 when I met mine...but he was worth the wait.....is that a small enough crumb of comfort?

Original poster
Festivefly · 10/02/2004 13:40

Helsbels, that was great you are right, and by the way he had no confidence when i met him, he needed building up a lot. I couldn't deal with it after a while, fresh blood is now massaging his ego. It is a shame that i still fancy men pretty gutted about that
I think i might take my boys out for dinner, just the three of us, afterall i am in love with them Everyone has been out with someone and get laid, i will do something he is missing out on. \Something more memorable and rewarding

Hi tutb

OP posts:
Original poster
Festivefly · 10/02/2004 13:43

My deepest fear is that he can't see what he has done and never will, i want him to realise one day what he lost the day he walked out. He thinks i am overreacting and its no big deal. I want his coscience to come back. If it doesn't he will always be a shit dad, and my boys don't deserve that.
Iota three more years of celebacy nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
oliveoil · 10/02/2004 13:43

FF - I split up with an ex on valentines day about 10 years ago (feel old now!) and I then found out he was seeing a so called friend of mine. We had been together for about 5 years, first love as well so it HURT when we split (no kids however). I felt down for about a year but then bounced back and had THE most fantastic 18 months of my life being single and enjoying myself, wasn't looking for a man /relationship. Met my dh and realised how cr**py my other relationship had been and regretted all those tears.

It WILL get better .

You WILL meet someone better who deserves you .

I will STOP using these CAPITALS .

ps - I still think valentines is a load of TOSH.

iota · 10/02/2004 13:45

No not 3 years of celibacy - 3 years of having fun, behaving badly, getting chatted up by 19 yr olds and two-timing - or was that just me??

Galaxy · 10/02/2004 13:46

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Original poster
Festivefly · 10/02/2004 13:47

5 things i hate about my x

He's disloyal, to everyone, not just me.
He can't keep friends.
He has started to wear crappy student clothes overnight, completley changing his image, including a badge that says my dick hurts.
He has no insight into how the rest of the world feel, just himself, if you are upset he will just say get a grip.
He is bad tempered and aggresive when he doesn't get his own way

OP posts:
Helsbels · 10/02/2004 13:47

That's the spirit FF. You have your boys and that's something he will never have. Their cuddles are worth a lot more than a meaningless sh*g off some scrote that will be gone in the morning. Save yourself until someone worthy of you comes along. I thank goodness every day that I did 'cos you sure as hell feel better about yourself and the world when you're in the right situation.

Galaxy · 10/02/2004 13:48

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turnupthebass · 10/02/2004 13:48

FF I'm pretty sure his conscience will still be there under the surface. Just at the moment you're the last person he would admit it to.
Unfortunately some men have that stupid bravado.

Gloating may make him feel good now but in the end everyone gets whats due to them.

It will come back on him.

nutcracker · 10/02/2004 13:49

Valentines day is banned in my flat. Dp never gets me anything and i don't want to get him anything this year so i'm not going to.

Original poster
Festivefly · 10/02/2004 13:51

So the moral of the story is;
enjoy being single, you will look back and wish you had.
there is someone out there that is better.
have lots of fun
Valentines day is TOSH

OP posts:
Helsbels · 10/02/2004 13:52

Yeah, that's about it. All these old wives tales about fish and sea and pebbles and beaches have survived all these years because they are true ! Good luck, sweetie, don't let them grind you down.

Original poster
Festivefly · 10/02/2004 13:52

And his time will come HA HA HA HA (evil dracula laugh)

OP posts:
Galaxy · 10/02/2004 13:53

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Galaxy · 10/02/2004 13:54

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iota · 10/02/2004 13:55

I'd recommend the meaningless sh*gs (in moderation) nothing like getting a bit of attention to cheer you up when your self esteem has been battered - you can regret them later

Original poster
Festivefly · 10/02/2004 13:56

I never no about all these sayings, don't the horrible selfish people just get what they want.

I like the one that goes, if its for you it won't pass you, or something along those lines

OP posts:
iota · 10/02/2004 13:56

and best to have them with wildly unsuitable men so that you're not tempted into thinking that you might be getting into something meaningful.....

oliveoil · 10/02/2004 13:57

....and scrote is such an apt word for some people.

nutcracker · 10/02/2004 13:57

Have to say that i'd rather be on my own than spending the day with someone who i don't love or want to be with anymore. Hope that doesn't offend, just a bit p**d off today

GeorginaA · 10/02/2004 13:57

FF what a tosser your ex is - hopefully his new woman will soon realise what a smug, unreliable wanker she has for a boyfriend.

I don't know if this helps at all, but I always grew up with Valentines day being a day to do things special for/with the people you love. The emphasis on it being a day for partners wasn't really there for me as a kid (although obviously the commercialism was there when I got older and started longing for cards etc). DH thinks this is odd - so maybe my mother was just weird in her Valentine's Day emphasis but I think it was a nice way to be brought up

I agree with others who have suggested a girly time with friends, or maybe even just a day to take stock of how much you love your boys and treat them a little on the day. Far better to turn the crass commercialism into something positive than trying to ignore it, imo.

hugs

Or just open a bottle of bubbly and celebrate being shot of your ex

Original poster
Festivefly · 10/02/2004 13:58

One night stands worry me a bit with children, i don't want people to tell them there mother is the village bike

OP posts:
Galaxy · 10/02/2004 13:58

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