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Relationships

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The Dating Thread - episode 60

999 replies

Djangounhinged · 31/07/2013 17:21

If I may?

OP posts:
DadfromUncle · 09/08/2013 00:07

Er ... I work in IT - have done for cough years Smile

Bant · 09/08/2013 00:25

me too. I'm a ridiculous geek.

DadfromUncle · 09/08/2013 00:49

BTW lots of female profiles I've read claim the POF phone app shows you online whenever your phone is on - dunno if that's correct.

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 09/08/2013 05:07

May I be the first to wish the Thread collective Happy FridayGrin

Poor night's sleep, ended with cat, meowing to be let in due to rain...

I hope you all have a lovely day, full of good stuff, especially dating good stuff.

Bonne Chance

X

48howdidthathappen · 09/08/2013 07:39

Mr R&R is back tomorrow.

I have an itch Grin

scrazy · 09/08/2013 09:38

I had the POF app once, I've deleted it now because I was getting messages overnight so I asked one messenger if it said I was online and it did. Poor men thought I was sat at my PC at all night just looking for them Grin.

Also I don't think you can tell if they have the mobile app.

As for the spark, I honestly didn't think I would find it so easily but with the first POF date I had (after realising LT and I weren't going anywhere). I fancied his photos and pep talked my way to the café that I probably wouldn't fancy him in RL. Saw him from across the road and thought OMG he is hot and even hotter when we got chatting. However, he isn't local and I'm not sure we are having round 2.

Secretservice · 09/08/2013 10:02

Morning all!
So when's this woo going to hit me then, eh!
Mr Compliance cancelled last night's date - and very cagey about an alternative - I suspect I haven't been as impressed with his doggerel as I was supposed to be. Ah, well. I would say Next! But my cupboard is completely bare at the moment.
And how come I seem to be the only one not to have seen DFU's kitchen, let alone his silver foxiness?
Django and Ham hope everything becomes clearer for you both today.
Self-esteem is a funny bugger - I could possibly be accused of having too much professionally, emotionally... Well let's say more work is probably needed!

MsApprehension · 09/08/2013 10:08

Good morning all!

In a bid to improve my social life I went to my first Meet Up meeting last night and it was nice, I am an introvert so it always feels like an achievement to go up to a group of strangers in a bar and start chatting. Anyway, this morning I have had contact from two blokes who were there last night, one of which was directly asking me to go for a drink with him and giving me his number! There were quite a few people there and I hadn't even got round the group to speak to him all evening so I suspect he is deploying a "scatter-gun" approach to asking women out. Sadly I don't think I'm interested, but it was a nice confidence boost! Grin

scrazy · 09/08/2013 10:16

Secret. Hover of DFU name and you can click his profile on here.

Secretservice · 09/08/2013 10:17

MsApp every little helps!
I keep reading how good Meet Ups are but don't seem to find anything in my area when I google. Is there a specific site?

scrazy · 09/08/2013 10:18

'over' not of.

Secretservice · 09/08/2013 10:23

Thanks Scrazy - assumed you were all talking about dfu's PoF profile - duh! But have to go against the grain a little - how on earth do you keep that expanse of white so clean!

DadfromUncle · 09/08/2013 10:23

My ex-DP went to a speed dating night once - one bloke's had left his card on the table and she could see he'd ticked "would like to meet/date" for every one of the lines (i.e. before he'd even met anyone).
secret My MN profile has a pic now...
MsApprehension good on you - I would find that exceptionally difficult, although I have no idea why - I have done a lot of things that ought to be much more scary.

DadfromUncle · 09/08/2013 10:26

secret it's really easy keeping it clean - I don't mess it up. There's only me here (and DD alternate weekends). A quick wipe where grubby fingers have been is all it takes.

Secretservice · 09/08/2013 10:30

Ah, yes DFU I was forgetting not everyone has three slapdash teenagers and a huge dog!

JoAlone · 09/08/2013 10:31

MsApprehension Well done you! I have never had the guts to go to one of those. Very impressed. Let's hope you get more than just a confidence boost out of it.

Geeks can be as much of an ass as any other men, the common denominator here is the 'man' bit. (Apologies to Bant and DFU). Not saying all men are bad, just that there are many common denominators on reasoning skills. Still I tend to go for the geek, prefer the intellectual challenge to the footie challenge. But that could just be me.

The dreaded bloody 'spark'. It's a lie in my opinion. You can feel it, and he doesn't, he does and you don't like trying for a simultaneous orgasm . The best explanation (for me at any rate), is that we all have unmet needs from our parents (however small or gigantic) and when we meet someone who has similar characteristics our subconscious picks up on this, and tries to get that need met. But like our parents inability to meet that need, the 'target' is also unable (due to shared characteristics). IME I tried so hard to avoid marrying my dad that I ended up marrying a clone of my mother, even worse. Too much psychology for this time of the morning?

Wave to all thread readers, lurking and non-lurking. Next week will be so boring, am back at work, and won't have time to keep up unless I loose sleep, which I fear due to my new MN addiction might just happen.

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 09/08/2013 10:41

MsAppThe Meet Ups in my area are full of women.

It's always sensible to have the pep talk Scrazy I do this. And unfortunately I am usually right ie I don't fancy them.

HeyDFU How you doing?Wink I am not a fancy-er of kitchens, and very sadly mine looks like something out of 'Steptoe and Son' at the moment along with the rest of the house. I resume renovations shortly.

Yes Secret, where is that woo when you need some? Please waft a big dollop towards Secret and I.

Had an email from OKC last night telling me that I am popular, based on the number of rated highly! [Preens] Although the quality is not so great. I am reminded of the BS rule Hmm

Overtheraenbow · 09/08/2013 11:07

Awww now I feel I've offended IT/ geek types! Grin
I have nothing against them per se! I wouldnt judge someone by their career choice!

Like you jo can't think of anything worse than a boring bloke who can't hold a decent conversation together. One reason why I liked Woody was as he seemed to be able to talk about random deep stuff! Last night it was all a bit superficial ( maybe that was just first night nerves or maybe not ) also some other issues he is living with his parents 2 years after split !! Now maybe that's about finances but ...... 2 years -is that normal??
His ex also lives over the road!

I agree about the spark thing, I think that when ou have been hurt in the past you lock that part of your heart away for fear of being hurt. When you meet someone new the trust thing is important and I maybe won't let myself feel too much for someone until I feel I can trust them iykwim. Now I just need someone to find the key!

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 11:20

Jo to me personally that's a really interesting point on the "spark" thing,

wouldn't mind reading up more on it. is there some book or psychologist you know of who expands on that theory more?

OhWesternWind · 09/08/2013 11:27

The spark thing is not a lie Grin. But it's very rare - I've had it once straight away and once as a grower in twenty odd dates, and have ended up seeing both these men.

I have been lurking a bit recently, busy at work and things are moving very fast on here and I'm struggling to keep up. Lovely to see so many positive things happening for lots of people on here. On a different note, I know it can be a bit difficult if you're not one of those people and not having a lot of luck at the moment, but these things come round to us all and it's just a matter of perservering (maybe after a rest to regroup if that feels better).

Alpha is coming round tonight with curry, as my babysitting arrangements have gone to pot in the holiday season, three of them away at once, so will probably see at least the older dc. I'm not making a big thing of it, they're used to my friends coming round and have already seen him (and interrogated him) when he's come to pick me up and aren't remotely bothered. I really want to see him tonight as he's off down south this weekend in advance of his op on Monday, and will be away most of the week until he's okay to drive again.

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 11:31

yay for alpha men bearing curry! sounds very nice indeed oww Smile

scrazy · 09/08/2013 11:36

Oh gosh, the sparks I have felt have had nothing to do wanting to duplicate my parents, have they! (ponders).

I've only felt the spark from OD about 3 times. This is in about 20 dates over a long period. So not bad really, oh and the latest spark and I look set for round 2.

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 11:37

yeah 2 in 20 sounds about right for instant "wooo".

its not necessarily the best looking of the bunch, just something else.

lurkinglorna · 09/08/2013 11:38

round 2, excellent scrazy.

Secretservice · 09/08/2013 11:40

Sounds lovely OWW don't lurk too long, I for one miss you when you're not around Blush

I haven't quite given up hope yet - and have to keep logging on otherwise I would have absolutely nothing to do with my time - I have to regulate MN otherwise you'd all get fed up of me too!

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