Waves is determined to keep winning now that Acrobat has arrived.

[wavesandsmiles]

So, Acrobat did actually arrive (only just) on the last thread. And he is here and lovely!

Links to previous threads:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1670597-So-DH-said

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1745551-DH-said-DH-left-waves-is-still-being-sick-but-into-the-third-timester

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1801734-Waves-is-winning-Here-comes-the-Acrobat

Oh so relieved to hear you had a good night waves! Definitely the reason for you being all over the place - lack of sleep, that is. Nothing worse imo (has a think...). YAY that you've got some good chunks of sleep to get you back on the right track

It must be like a nightmare to see him being blase and uncaring. Yes, total NC is the way to go. You can do it (in fact I think zero contact is 'easier' than dribs and drabs, which keep you hooked in iyswim?).

Brighton looks like lots of fun! I think we will definitely aim for a day there. Still NO idea where to stay or whether to venture further afield for a few days. It is really nice to have something to focus on that is positive.

Good thing as my sister is very non committal about meeting up when we are over I know TB has spoken to her as she asked what happened. I'm a bit upset as I'd be booking a day off if it was the other way round. So I may well not see her at all which is a shame as had really hoped to introduce her to her new nephew. Ah well, learning each day more and more about family dynamics and where I fit in.

I still wish I had the family I thought I would have. I imagine that it will take some time to work through these stages of grief.

I am sure I speak for us on here when I say you have a MN family now .

Absolutely, we my not be close by, but we are here, were it counts.

Hear, hear, MissStrawberry!

A day out in Brighton sounds like fun. DS1 is at university there, but I've never really explored it properly.

thekitchenfairy send me a PM if you like!

Ooh I do like Brighton! I could drive down with kids for a or a and chuck some pebbles in the sea.

Someone pm me with suggested dates etc & i will try to sort something out.

waves - I thought I had a lovely, close, 'normal' family but since my DPs followed DH and me up North, my 'D'Bro hasn't spoken to any of us (an now the extended family on our side too) for a year (amongst other crap that's gone on from him and SIL). He's not even acknowledged DD's existence and she's 19wks now :(

We're heading to his neck of the woods this week for three days and I have emailed and texted to find out when our DCs can get together as it's been so long and DS misses his two but no response. I thought he wouldn't be so cruel to keep them apart as well even if he had ishoos with me and DPs but no. I'm really upset TBH and I can understand how you'd feel the same. Give your DSis the benefit of the doubt if you can as I've done with my Bro even though he's behaved atrociously this past year to all of us. Even if you say you'll go to hers for a couple of hours as your DCs really want to see her and push it.

You sound a fab mum and you have created all the family you need x

Thanks for all the support again , definitely makes things easier.

Wing I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your DBro. I will definitely push for meeting up with my DSis and keep my fingers crossed.

Well, I am still not entirely sure what to do, but accommodation in the Gatwick-ish area looks pretty reasonable, and the advantage is the mainline rail, buses etc. I can drive, but really don't fancy the stress of hiring a car and driving on big fast roads with lack of sleep....

I will PM you BIWI and thekitchenfairy - I would love to meet up with anyone who is around/free/willing - we arrive first thing on 26 August, and leave first thing on 1 September. May attempt a trip to Bristol during that time, but not sure it is doable in a day? My cousin, aunt and uncle live south of there, but it will depend on the practicalities of the journey etc.

However, a day in Brighton sounds good, as does general or and cake anywhere at all that is relatively reachable in not too long a time by train or bus from Gatwick!

I will be in Bournemouth 26-28th if you end up heading west!

Brighton is dead easy from Gatwick - and I second Wingdefence's idea of Horsham, I love it there too. A fab park, swimmming pool, great coffee shops

I live near gatwick and would love a meet up! PM me too if its on.

It sounds like your mainland trip will be a great one waves. Is your sister trying to win Brownie points with TB? If she wants to curry favour like that just let her. It is almost predictable that with a mother like that at least one child will feel a pressing need to stay in favour and not be the "naughty" independent one.

Surreptitious ((hug)) too for WingDefence.

I hope you do get to meet up with some mumsnetters and have a lovely time.

I won't be able to go but will be with you in spirit!

It's a shame we don't live back down south as we were just a tram & train ride away from Gatwick.

Thanks Donkeys. Many a time I have drafted a MN Relationships or AIBU thread in my head about the situation but I think the OP would be way too long!

HOrsham is very nice. And if you feel the need to have any of your body straightened out, I know an EXCELLENT osteopath who works there.

Wingdefence - does anyone in your family actually know why your brother isn't speaking to you all? or is it literally because you all moved up north? (which is a bit odd)

Well I don't want to hijack wave's thread but yes, it's all because my DPs have always done tons for him (and me, they're very generous with their time) and when they retired and decided they'd rather live in a nice rural town than crappy SE London, he has flounced.

We think there must be more to it than that but it always ends up being that which is stated. He's 40 in 2 weeks time and is acting like a toddler. I can understand that he is upset but the reaction (heavily influenced by my odd SIL) is heartbreakingly ridiculous and has affected all our side of the family.

Right, let's leave it there

I should qualify that: imo sibling rivalry never ends, regardless what age you are. I am the youngest in my family and the eldest are in their 60s. There's 5 of us, and my siblings still complain that my cards get displayed longer/more prominantly than theirs. Tosh: I usually send photo-cards that are carefully chosen to hit the exact spot, which is why the pictures are kept - photos of things that I know will remind them of the olden days when they was young etc [hate to say it but the others don't usually send photo-cards]. My poor mum has taken to cutting off the handwritten bit so no-one knows who the card was from.

morning everyone

I am tired today. Puppy slept all night, but I was awake 5ish wide awake, so got up, could do with going back to bed now!

Hope everyone has fun stuff planned for today. I will be on coffee and cake duty, also going to make some chilli/bolognaise as I feel like I havent baked or batch cooked properly for a while.

Morning all - hope you're okay waves :)

We're on the M1 heading darn sarf. Still haven't heard from the Bro so we will be paying them an unannounced visit and hoping that DS and we can see their DCs and that it doesn't turn into WW3 (they have form of starting screaming matches in front of the DCs :( ).

I was wondering how the lodgers were doing waves?

sooo jealous of your puppy Jax

waves where are you, girl? Hope you're ok.

Good luck with the unplanned visit Wing - perhaps best to strike unexpectedly and then take off before he gets chance to draw breath and let you have it . But then again, he may be outraged at sudden visit and .... well, let's hope not eh

Hi all, so appreciated. I forgot that one can sort of redefine "night" when a newborn arrives. So little C only woke once last night, given that night now runs from 11.30 to 5.....

Busy day so far, the 4 of us walked to town with C in the wrap. I met a recruitment consultant to find out about what opportunities there may be, we went and got school shoes with new lodgers discount, got nappies and wipes and paid some money into the bank. Let the older 2 have a run in the park on the way home too! They were very helpful with carrying bags of shopping

Yesterday afternoon we went to the beach with my doula and her children which was great. I spent the whole time pretty much sat feeding C in the little sun shade tent though.

DS1 had another deep chat with me. He is very upset about twunt and the fact it means I have to do everything, have far less time for him and DD but also he is genuinely sad. He is so desperate for a dad, and feels sad that twunt went as he thought he'd be his dad. Poor little man, he is 9 now and can barely remember his old daddy, as he calls him. It has made me even more cross with twunt though. He has caused so much upset and disappointment. And I feel like I have let my DCs down too.

Twunt is horrible. He proclaims himself a nice, good person, a great dad. Yet he is ok to cause my children to suffer pain. My heart is breaking for the older 2 especially. I hate seeing them cry.

However, now looking forward to our holiday. Think the final plan is 2 nights in Bristol, then 2 in Brighton then the final 2 in a gatwick hotel. Hoping to meet some of you

Remember Waves friends are the family we chose for ourselves..so you have lots of "family" all over the world.

Oh gosh, and the lodger situation is beyond pear shaped....

Lodger 2 is moving out to a flat next month. New lodger has issue with license to live/work here and may have to leave, Bedsit couple split up and man moving out so just the original girl left. And all this happened in the past 3 days.