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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So angry and upset with husband - he risked baby's life

173 replies

chuckster · 09/06/2006 19:37

Whenever it comes to reading instuctions for things & working out how things work, it's always dh who does it becaused i am famously hopeless at such things. I had always doubted that the way he'd told me to install the baby car seat was right and he assured me it was ok. Today i read the instructions myself and i could see that he must have misinterpreted them. Discussed it with him this evening and he had another look at the instructions and it turned out that my doubts were justified - for 6 weeks our baby has been travelling in a carseat which wasn't tightened properly. I feel sick at the thought of what could have happened and so angry with dh that i don't know what to do. he keeps saying sorry but i keep thinking of what could have happened because of his mistake and constant dismissal of my worries. where do i go from here - can see this spoiling things for a long time

OP posts:

notanotter · 09/06/2006 22:52

yeah wannabe!!!

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 22:53

"hi, I'm chucky! wanna play?"

Ooops I'll shut up and go to bed now honest, lol. seriously sad though chuckster you really need to get a life.

vitomum · 09/06/2006 22:57

mmmm 'get a life' - i often feel like saying that to those that are obsessed with outing trolls. why don't you just go find another thread?

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 09/06/2006 22:57

well I thought she was for real, just had a PFB, but the hand hit my mouth stuff....... Oh I don't know. Chuckster send him off to the pub tomorrow to watch England. If you are for real I'd really advise you to think about your behaviour as no-one would put up for this for long. -6 weeks after a birth, yes, 6 months, no way. Enjoy your baby and relax. You're stressing me out fgs, and nothing stresses me out these days!

Chandra · 09/06/2006 23:13

Well, I don't think she has to be necessarily a troll to wind us up. Mumsnet history has show that even regular posters can do some very convincing windups.

Tortington · 09/06/2006 23:33

for fecks sake - shes not a troll. honest to christ talk about over reaction begets over reaction.

her other half made a mistake. he said sorry.

handlemecarefully · 09/06/2006 23:56

Ahem, can I remind the adults here that there is a red exclaimation mark to click on to report a thread if you are in any doubt - which saves a lot of on line speculation and unpleasantness

Xavielli · 10/06/2006 00:03

To the harness being loose.....

Men are generally more nervous about handling newborns than us mums, even new ones. So, to be honest maybe he was worried that the straps might be too tight? DP always left the straps on everything too loose because he was afraid of hurting DS, when I explained to DP that more harm would be done having them loose than tight he was fine with it, but i had to tighten them! Maybe a bit of the same?

That said, you can't put all the blame on him... surely you have put your baby in this seat atleast once? If you were that worried about it you would have got the instructions out yourself.

If he was trying to hug you to make up for things, why were you pulling away after the advice you have been given on here.... ? Maybe you just don't want to be with him.....

Chandra · 10/06/2006 02:41

TBH I really don't care if she is a troll, so far I have not felt the urge to ask anybody to leave, trolls or not. Part of the tolerancy policy.

It is easier and kinder to parp away, although at some point in this thread the only thought I have had is "you are joking, right?"

I really don't know what else to say or how to help, so it's my turn to parp.

Good luck and hope you can forgive your husband some time in the near future. And hope he has the patience to wait until that happens.

Now that I remember well... I asked GF to leave .

Mytwopenceworth · 10/06/2006 07:03

I think you should go to your health visitor or your gp. You very much sound like you may have the baby blues or actually be at risk of PND. You are TOTALLY overreacting and being very irrational. Your uncontrolled rage over such a non-issue (NOTHING happened, it was a mistake but it is sorted!) is worrying too.

If you are for real, then you need some assistance i think.

also, re your dh - if he hit you, then you need to consider your options but - is it posible that you posted on here wanting us all to slag off your dh with you for, well, from your point of view, actually TRYING to kill your baby? then when we didnt, you posted something you hoped would make us angry with him?

I really think you should see hv / gp.

SoupDragon · 10/06/2006 07:56

You're overreacting. Everyone has said you're over reacting. Listen to us or don't but don't keep harping on about it. As for him hitting you, you pulled away from a hug and his hand hit your mouth whilst you were doing so. If he'd intentionally hit you, you would know about it.

Let it go or throw him out because if you won't let go of it there's no point. There will be plenty more of these accidental lapses in your baby's safety, believe me. You wish you could be happy - so BE happy and let it go!! What would you want your DH to do when you inevitably make a similar mistake? As things stand, I hope you never make a mistake because you're DH is going to have a field day.

SoupDragon · 10/06/2006 07:58

And I still maintain that you are equally to blame for the carseat straps because you were not happy with them but took 6 weeks to read the instructions to check.

Twiglett · 10/06/2006 07:58

PS Soupy "you're DH"

monkeytrousers · 10/06/2006 10:32

Chuckster, are you \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=7&threadid=178880\Chocklit?}

LIZS · 10/06/2006 10:46

or even \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=7&threadid=180171&stamp=060609162703\toastnjam} who seems in a similar tiz. Really the first few weeks with a new baby can be incredibly stressful and you won't get everything right first time every time, no matter how hard you try. It is trial and error, so give yourself and dh a break even over things you know you should be able to get right but for some reason just don't. Hope things are better today .

batters · 10/06/2006 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suzywong · 10/06/2006 11:13

If I had a pound for every time I 've been busted by DH for not putting ds2's car seat back properly I'd be wearing Gucci Jeans. It's very easily done.
Learned my lesson now and always kneel on the damn thing to make sure the belt is tight.
Can't wait til ds2 goes in a booster seat, bloody bane of my life kids' car seats. Tut.
Nice cup of tea anyone?

monkeytrousers · 10/06/2006 11:14

Ah, but would those be size 10 gucci's Suzy?

suzywong · 10/06/2006 11:16

well, no, probably 12's even though my bog standard ones are 10s
In fact I have won some New Armani's on ebay today and they are size 10/12 so I'm pretty confident they willl fit.

Anyway, back to the thread.

Mmmmmmmm...new jeans.

southeastastra · 10/06/2006 11:16

chuckster didn't come back then?

LIZS · 10/06/2006 11:16

Are you offering brownies with our tea ?

suzywong · 10/06/2006 11:20

oh Lord no, haven't made Brownies for an age...how the heck do you think I'm in size 10 jeans?

SoupDragon · 10/06/2006 11:30

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