Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So angry and upset with husband - he risked baby's life

173 replies

chuckster · 09/06/2006 19:37

Whenever it comes to reading instuctions for things & working out how things work, it's always dh who does it becaused i am famously hopeless at such things. I had always doubted that the way he'd told me to install the baby car seat was right and he assured me it was ok. Today i read the instructions myself and i could see that he must have misinterpreted them. Discussed it with him this evening and he had another look at the instructions and it turned out that my doubts were justified - for 6 weeks our baby has been travelling in a carseat which wasn't tightened properly. I feel sick at the thought of what could have happened and so angry with dh that i don't know what to do. he keeps saying sorry but i keep thinking of what could have happened because of his mistake and constant dismissal of my worries. where do i go from here - can see this spoiling things for a long time

OP posts:
monkeytrousers · 09/06/2006 21:25

is that like 'fight fight'?

monkeytrousers · 09/06/2006 21:26

..cos at this time you hardly need any encouragement.

Original poster
chuckster · 09/06/2006 21:59

Now we've just been screaming at eachother - he tried to hug me, i got away and his hand hit me in the mouth - he said it was an accident.Things are going from bad to worse

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 09/06/2006 22:00

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Original poster
chuckster · 09/06/2006 22:00

hhmmm??

OP posts:
JanH · 09/06/2006 22:06

chuckster, is there anything he could do right now that would make you feel better?

If not, give him a tenner and send him out to the pub, then he won't be getting underfoot and annoying you even more Smile

Original poster
chuckster · 09/06/2006 22:07

worried now that he may have intentionally hurt me

OP posts:
Moomin · 09/06/2006 22:09
morocco · 09/06/2006 22:12

ok, I don't know if you can do this, but just try to write off the first 6 months as just getting through things. Your hormones are all over the place and you're massively sleep deprived, your dh probably is being really annoying but hopefully if you can step back from it for that length of time and try not to be too horrible to each other, then once your baby is sleeping better and you are both more in the swing of things, then everything will settle back down again.
I remember posting on some real, overprotective mum stuff - my poor dh - he couldn't do anything right.
anyway, I'm off to start another thread about my dh and his annoying habits so I guess not everything has changed.

southeastastra · 09/06/2006 22:14

turn off the pc and go and talk to him!

Original poster
chuckster · 09/06/2006 22:19

Wish i could go back a few hours now then we might have had a good weekend, now there's no chance. it'll be separate rooms and rows or bickering. Wish we could be happy

OP posts:
Moomin · 09/06/2006 22:22

why don't you get off the computer and try and sort it out like adults. sorry but i think your dh has had a rough deal. you brought your ds into this world together and you need to sort this behaviour out for his sake. swallow your pride and anger and what ever else is festering away and go and give him a proper hug and put all this behind you.

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 22:23

Sorry but I'm really still not convinced this is for real, especially after the last post.

Seems very plausible initially but then as more people seem to be saying she should forgive her dh suddenly he's hit her?

hmmmm

think I should parp myself from this thread because imo it has troll written all over it.

Original poster
chuckster · 09/06/2006 22:25

I'm hoping he didn't hit me intentionally - he said it was an accident but doesn't seem paricularly sorry he hurt me

OP posts:
wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 22:26

well what would be the point in his apologising as you don't seem very open to accepting apologies ...

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 22:29

sorry but if you are for real and not a troll then imo you should be sorting this out with yor dh, not on a discussion forum on the internet. There are some lovely supportive people on here who have given you a lot of constructive advice, but you don't seem open to any of that, you appear to be so bitter that you're not open to anything right now, you should seriously be trying to save your relationship, imo sleeping in separate bedrooms because of a mistake your dh made and apologised for is a total overreaction.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/06/2006 22:30

Was somewhat amused yesterday - DP duly strapped DS in his car seat in the front seat to bring him home, and didnt realise until he got home that he hadnt strapped the seat to the car seat......

CHuckster, if you are for real, you need to get a grip. Kinda feel sorry for your DH, you seem really quite neurotic.

Sorry if thats harsh, but you seem blissfully ignorant to any other posts made.

sheepgomeep · 09/06/2006 22:40

put it down to bitter experience chuckster and move on.

My ex forgot to strap the baby seat to the car seat when ds was 6 weeks old. He'd made a big show of strapping him in then drove of unstrapped. I shouted at him for about an hour, then got over it.

I was reminded of this recently when I drove of with my 3yr old dd sitting in her booster seat at the back. I got to the end of the road and then had my dd screeching mumeeee you forgot to strap me in.

It happens

fattiemumma · 09/06/2006 22:44

i truely hope you are genuine as i would be incredibly angry to find that someone had used domestic violence in a way to gain some sympathy/entertainment.

anyway....to the OP i think if you were so concerned that the chair was not fitted properly then why has it taken you 6 weeks to look it up yourself?? and if you are too inept to fit the seat yourself then why should your DH be made to feel guilty because he hadn't read them correctly?

he has apologised for makeing a MISTAKE!! and yet you wont accept it...what do you ant him to do?
did you come on here in the hopes that we woudl say he is evil and you should leave him?

HMMMM...very very HMMMMMM

TheMammy · 09/06/2006 22:46

why would he hit you? And why are you arguing over something as bloody stupid as this?? FGS... there's some women on MN tonight who would give anything for their DH's to care enough to do this or be well enough to be able to share the childcare.

Wise up, go and be an adult and say sorry, even if it's not your fault. (I hate that word, fault makes me feel like I'm back at primary school)

edam · 09/06/2006 22:48

Oh, stop sulking FGS. Go and make up. You've had loads of reasonably sympathetic advice here and are, it seems, ignoring it all in order to pursue some incredibly childish competition for martyrdom. No-one is making you have a crap weekend, you are choosing to do that to yourself by prolonging this ridiculous and unnecesary row. Get over yourself.

Chandra · 09/06/2006 22:49

Surely this is a wind up, is it?

notanotter · 09/06/2006 22:51

sounds a bit like someone under a bridge......

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 22:51

trolls don't generally respond to other posters/advice and this is exactly what she's doing. shes a troll I'm sure of it!

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 22:52

cuckster must be short for chucky, as in that doll that went round killing people ... lol