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Original poster

So angry and upset with husband - he risked baby's life

173 replies

chuckster · 09/06/2006 19:37

Whenever it comes to reading instuctions for things & working out how things work, it's always dh who does it becaused i am famously hopeless at such things. I had always doubted that the way he'd told me to install the baby car seat was right and he assured me it was ok. Today i read the instructions myself and i could see that he must have misinterpreted them. Discussed it with him this evening and he had another look at the instructions and it turned out that my doubts were justified - for 6 weeks our baby has been travelling in a carseat which wasn't tightened properly. I feel sick at the thought of what could have happened and so angry with dh that i don't know what to do. he keeps saying sorry but i keep thinking of what could have happened because of his mistake and constant dismissal of my worries. where do i go from here - can see this spoiling things for a long time

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 09/06/2006 20:35

Chuckster, if you don't let it go, you'll be holding onto an awful lot of things by the time your Precious First Born is 18 :o

tissy · 09/06/2006 20:35

and anyway, the car seat was probably fitted well enough even so, to be better than no car seat at all, which is how parents-who-don't-give-a-toss deal with the problem.

I've driven off without strapping my baby's seat into the car, I've dropped her, whacked her head on the corner of the bedside table while trying to b/feed in the middle of the night, cut off the end of her finger with nail clippers, fed her peanut butter before she was ayear old.......she's still alive, and appears to love me !

SoupDragon · 09/06/2006 20:37

Recently I put DD in her carseat in the MPV taxi and off we went. DH spent the whole journey facing her without notising that she wasn't strapped into the seat. Whose fault was it? Mine for not strapping her in or DHs for not noticing?

Original poster
chuckster · 09/06/2006 20:38

the carseat was fitted ok, it was the harness inside it which was completey loose so our baby would just have fallen out of it if anything had happened

OP posts:
Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 09/06/2006 20:38

chuckster he's not going to be thankful if you're going on like this at him! He's said he's sorry.

FioFio · 09/06/2006 20:38

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expatinscotland · 09/06/2006 20:39

we all make mistakes w/our kids. when dd2 was newborn, and i needed some fennel tea, we got about 4 miles before we realised she wasn't fastened into the seat belt.

it happens once. not again, usually.

WideWebWitch · 09/06/2006 20:39

pmsl at your dh being 'thankful that you discovered he was wrong' ! Yes, lots of men like that I find :)

FioFio · 09/06/2006 20:39

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Dior · 09/06/2006 20:39

Chuckster - go on to some of the fun threads on here. You need to stop thinking about it. I'm parping myself now because I have said all I can. I hope you have a lovely weekend together. x

LIZS · 09/06/2006 20:40

Then surely you have had an opportunity to tighten it each time you put her in ! On most infant seats it is just a quick tug. Seriously, it isn't worth the angst now.

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 09/06/2006 20:40

Wait until your baby's letting himself out of the car seat. (ds3's latest trick).

tissy · 09/06/2006 20:41

yes, agree, if the straps weren't tightened, you're both to blame

FioFio · 09/06/2006 20:42

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Original poster
chuckster · 09/06/2006 20:42

Feel so stupid for believing him when he said the harness was supposed to be loose - he said that's what the instructions said - won't trust him with them again

OP posts:
Dior · 09/06/2006 20:43

This is surely a wind up now?

Oh yes, I forgot PARP... I'm off.

FioFio · 09/06/2006 20:43

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WideWebWitch · 09/06/2006 20:44

ha ha fio. Chuckster, are you winding us up now? :)

LIZS · 09/06/2006 20:44

Do you think that may be the problem here , not that you specifically blame him ? tbh it sounds as if he got the hard part right !

joelalie · 09/06/2006 20:45

I shouldn't think he is thankful! With you tearing big lumnps out of him...Grin

Next time he might be really really careful (and could still make mistakes - it happens!) or more than likely will refuse to do anything that might have an impact on the baby's safety and leave it all to you.

If I was your DH I'd be feeling horribly guilty but thanks to your reaction, also seriously fed up right now and probably just as bl**dy angry.

Sorry if that was unsympathetic as well but I've also had a glass or two Wink

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 09/06/2006 20:45

I'm feeling very sorry for your dh now, give the poor man a break.

madmarchhare · 09/06/2006 20:46

DS, when he was about 8 months old, ended up upside down in a lake because I had not put the brake on the pushchair properly.

I cried, I felt angry, I felt guilty, then I forgot about it and every now and then I shudder at what might have been (thats just human nature when our babies are concerned).

My point is, is that you feel really shit now but it wont be on your mind as much tomorrow and even less the day after that. You know he didnt do it deliberately so relax a little, I can promise you he will be feeling bad enough without you having snipes at him as well.

FioFio · 09/06/2006 20:46

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WideWebWitch · 09/06/2006 20:47

fio you are funny tonight

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 09/06/2006 20:47

now now fio :o