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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So angry and upset with husband - he risked baby's life

173 replies

chuckster · 09/06/2006 19:37

Whenever it comes to reading instuctions for things & working out how things work, it's always dh who does it becaused i am famously hopeless at such things. I had always doubted that the way he'd told me to install the baby car seat was right and he assured me it was ok. Today i read the instructions myself and i could see that he must have misinterpreted them. Discussed it with him this evening and he had another look at the instructions and it turned out that my doubts were justified - for 6 weeks our baby has been travelling in a carseat which wasn't tightened properly. I feel sick at the thought of what could have happened and so angry with dh that i don't know what to do. he keeps saying sorry but i keep thinking of what could have happened because of his mistake and constant dismissal of my worries. where do i go from here - can see this spoiling things for a long time

OP posts:

snowleopard · 09/06/2006 20:49

Chuckster, at our local supermarket once the police were there doing free checks on people's child car seats in the car park. Apparently 80% of car seats / harnesses are not properly fitted - that's why they do these supermarket checks to help people get it right. It is a hard thing to get right - forgive him.

FrannyandZooey · 09/06/2006 20:50

For what it's worth, I completely understand how oyu feel chuckster and would probably have been exactly the same myself.

These good ladies are no doubt right with their advice, but I just wanted you to know that you are not the only obsessive control freak on the planet. :)

(and go easy please everyone, I am betting you have all gone mad at your husbands for less than this at some time or another)

LadySherlockofLGJ · 09/06/2006 20:51

Chuckster

You are getting a lot of posts for a first post,you must be so proud.

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 20:59

how does him making a mistake mean that you and your baby aren't the most important things to your dh. He's a human, just like you, and we all make mistakes. When my ds was 6 weeks old I dropped him in the bath and his little head went under water and bobbed back up again ... oops. When he was 8 months old he rolled off the baby changer, I actually managed to catch him before he hit the ground, (bloody impressed with my reflexes that day lol), I'm sure there are more, I know dh put milk in unsterilised bottles on one occasion. I'd put them in the steriliser but forgot to switch it on, dh made up the bottles because he assumed that they were sterilieed, whose fault was it, mine for not sterilising? or dh's for not checking. DS is 3.5 now and none the worse.

Original poster

chuckster · 09/06/2006 21:01

No not proud, Just wishing he hadn't let me down again bit pleased i've discovered MN. Was so wishing for a lovely weekend - no hope of that now as he's sulking in one room and i'm here. We were supposed to be having a lovely day out with baby tomorrow - no don't feel like i want to be near him

OP posts:

joelalie · 09/06/2006 21:02

OK....if we're going to compare guilty baby moments.....

No, on second thoughts won't go there. Suffice to say that i've got three so the chances for guilt are multiplied .....but so are the chances for me to learn to let things go......

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 21:02

seriously grow up. if you're going to have a crap weekend the one to blame for that is you because you won't let it go. he's apologised, what else is it you want fgs.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 09/06/2006 21:03

Were the straps so long he could have TRIP TRAPPED over them ?

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 21:03

yeh think you're on to her now.

Original poster

chuckster · 09/06/2006 21:04

long enought that if we'd have been hit hard, he'd probably have come out of the seat

OP posts:

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 21:04

whose that trip trapping ...

foundintranslation · 09/06/2006 21:04

The other day, dh left 1yo ds in his pushchair by our (open) house front door (we live in a flat) to go up 2 floors to our flat to get something. (I wasn't at home). When he told me about it I went ballistic. For about 2 minutes. Then I told him in no uncertain terms he was not ever to do it again, gave ds a shaky hug and moved on. That's what you need to do too, chuckster.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 09/06/2006 21:05

what and fallen under the bridge, whilst eating a Yorkie bar ??

SoupDragon · 09/06/2006 21:05

Fine. Divorce him over this and be done with it.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 09/06/2006 21:06

Wonder where he parked his truck?

foundintranslation · 09/06/2006 21:06

(FWIW I don't think chuckster's a troll. I've had moments like this before. Anyone remember my thread a few months back on dh giving ds ice cream?)

monkeytrousers · 09/06/2006 21:06

Now just admit it, you want to leave him and this gives you a perfect excuse, isn't it? Hm?

Hands up how many of us wanted to leave our feckless floundering partners in those months of hormone induces insanity after the birth?

I think its part fear of abandonment so you think you'll get in early and being convinced no one cares as much as you do about everything ('It's my job to be paranoid!' was my mantra and just stir craziness. Giving birth makes you mad! You do get back to normal though.

joelalie · 09/06/2006 21:06

If you're so 'glad you've found mn' why don't you appear to be listening to a single word we've been saying?

hmmm....fol de rol...???

LadySherlockofLGJ · 09/06/2006 21:07

It was not your first FITranslation....

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 21:08

he's in a syber cafe in a service station somewhere ... lol

LIZS · 09/06/2006 21:08

She has asked a question re: a Maxi Cosi on another thread. Chuckster, did you establish if it was actually faulty or just too loose. fwiw I don't think your baby would have come to quite as much harm as you fear providede the seat was fixed into the car properly.

monkeytrousers · 09/06/2006 21:08

Please be careful girls, if it is a new mum she'll be very sensitive.

foundintranslation · 09/06/2006 21:09

True LGJ. Still not convinced of c's trolliness. However, I do think she needs a bit of perspective.

wannaBe1974 · 09/06/2006 21:10

maybe mt, but the constant refusal to hear any advice, plus the fact she's gone very quiet since the words trip trap were uttered still reaise suspician imo?

monkeytrousers · 09/06/2006 21:10

Don't we all after giving birth?? I was nuts. Nearly left too, nearly..

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