My marraige is over...

[Lemmingswife]

I know it is for the best, but I am hurting really bad atm & keep thinking of my poor babies.

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He is wrong if you have residency you will get more than half, please dont listen to him. It is he that is looking at having problems not you lw honestly. I think that is why he is trying to rush things. THursday seems a long time off but hopefully it will zip past.

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Totally agree tyedye! But it is amazing how often men have it! My X has not given me a penny since he left in October!

Yes, Thursday does suddenly seem a very long way off!

I am on my way to the blimmin nut house, I really am!

Will take a notepad & pen with me on Thursday & ask direct questions.
Feel things may get difficult here & still feel a sense of fear around H, which I shouldn't.

It is quite natural to feel fear he has bullied and abused you for so long! He is still doing it and facing a bully is always scarey!

Hello LW. Sounds like you are going through a nightmare at the moment. Please, please, please talk to your solicitor regarding your right to reside in the family home with your children. There is no way your husband should be pressurising you to sell the house - his moving out is a separate issue and should not depend upon you making a major financial decision!

Have been following your thread. From what you say, re. his comments and general behaviour to you, you will be soooo much better off on your own.

It is so hard to deal with someone like this; they know which buttons to press to wind you up, and will have a go whenever they can. Now in your mind you have decided that this relationship is not for you, try to "zen" out when he says something designed to hurt you or stress you out. He also sounds like he is being pretty self-pitying at times, and playing on your guilt at being the 'instigator' in your split. However, remember, had he treated you with respect and love, you would not have come to this painful decision.

Just want to reiterate - you are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of people out here who have walked out of abusive relationships. Many go on to lead fulfilling and happy lives. You will too. All the best.

Thank you, smellen. I intend to discuss all of this with the solicitor on Thursday.

Oh he is too snobbish to go down that road, FOTM. This is a bloke who refuses to shop in Woolworths!
He will want top quality & nothing less.

I know I am going to have a real battle here.

Well that's his decision then LW. Let him get on with it. Whatever he does, wherever he goes to live - you must try not to get sucked into feeling guilty for it.

Take care.

I am worried that he will turn nasty and even more difficult when he realises that you will be entitled to far more than 50%. (It's typical, of course, that he thinks HE will be in charge of saying what you get)...espcially as it will leave him more in the lurch as far as snob-value housing goes.

That's one reason why I think the sooner he is out of the house the better.

Have you actually told him you want him to move out?

Yes, Blu, I have said that I want him out, as I am finding it so hard having him around in the circumstances.
He assured me that he would be out by next w/e.
He is now playing games IMO & I am getting very frustrated with it all.

He says that his friend is going away on Thursday for 10 days, so we are talking a good 2 weeks here at best.

There will be no end to this, will there?
I know I am going to end up with a battle on my hands.

I think it is unfortunate that these men only yeild to legal pressure although my X also ignores the courts but I think it is the only way in the LW.

I think you are right, GF.

I am quite suprised that my later posts made any sense last night, as by that stage I had consumed far too much red wine!
Have had a very sleepless night worrying about things.
He assured me that he is definitely going to be moving out, so not to worry, but that it will not be until his friend returns from his holiday. They leave on Thursday & are away for 10 days, so we are talking another couple of weeks yet.
This is all getting beyond a joke now.

yep time to get tough!

If he can't move into his friend's place for another 2 weeks, could he not stay with someone else? His parents? Your parents, who clearly adore him?

Just tell him that you're not prepared to wait another 2 weeks only for him to come up with another excuse and that he has to go now. Pack him a bag and ask for his keys.

His mothers and buy a set-top box....