Hi. Been reading your postings. Fattiemumma - think you should rename yourself GirlWithABigHeart. Sounds like you have been through the mill, but still kind enough to post your support to LW. It is good to see people supporting each other - the horrid X's haven't won in the end .
Can only agree with what others have said about manipulation through the courts. Disentangling myself from the X was relatively uncomplicated - but he still managed to make it drag on for a good couple of years, and I remember being horrified at some of the solicitors' bills!! However, keep strong and you will get through it eventually.
LW, you will find your H will use every ruse available to 'win' you back - eliciting pity from your parents, ranting, declaring undying love, threatening etc. Remember you have done the thing that will most wind him up - you have removed yourself from his control. He isn't going to make it easy for you.
Regarding the guilt you feel over the impact this is going to have on your boys, I'm not particularly qualified to comment, as I was lucky enough not to be a mum when I left the X. However, I guess you will have to be bigger that your 'D'H in all this and try not to let any bitterness or anger that you will feel for him get in the way of agreeing suitable access arrangements. I have friends who have split from their partners and the kids still manage to see both parents regularly.
Anyway, gotta go - keep strong!!