Totally agree with you tyedye and LW that emotional abuse is at least as damaging as physical. And I would imagine that often it is a precursor. By the time I left my 'D'H I was wishing he would hit me, simply because it would have been a concrete example of abuse, something which I could label as such and use to justify my decision to leave. However, I also knew in my heart that the sorts of behaviour he had exhibited towards me during our relationship were a form of abuse, and it was not the way I wanted to live my life.
In my head I remembered being a feisty young eighteen year old who had sworn that she would never be under anyone's thumb. And yet that was exactly where I found myself ten years later. I imagined being an old lady looking back on a wasted, unhappy life - and knew I had to do something to stop that happening.
After I left, I was able to take time to really reflect on what had happened, and how the pattern of abusive behaviour had been established fairly early on in the relationship. I think often there are alarm bells that ring faintly somewhere in these cases (although I have heard of a woman whose partner was sweetness and light before the wedding, but made her sleep on the floor on their wedding night ). Often we choose to give the person another chance because we have fallen in love, and I guess some people have fairly low self esteem because of other factors in their life. Others grew up watching their own parents be cruel to each other and think it's normal. For whatever reason a person chooses to stay in such a relationship, the abuse often worses. But each time it happens it wears away at your idea of what is acceptable.
Emotional abuse is insidious and hard to define, but you know what it's like when you feel physically sick in the pit of the stomach because you know your partner is going to go off on one because... well, usually because of the most mundane, normal events, e.g. a lost wallet, a prang in the car, a meal that has 'gone wrong'.
Keep strong LW. Try not to doubt your instincts. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Enjoy your Sunday.