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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My marraige is over...

1065 replies

Lemmingswife · 08/06/2006 22:56

I know it is for the best, but I am hurting really bad atm & keep thinking of my poor babies.Sad

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Blu · 24/06/2006 18:49

and LOL that you must remember that it was your decision to leave since he had made life impossible! And for your 5% blame (no doubt ascribed to your evil MN habit) you have to take 100% responsibility for leaving becuase he has become unlivable with? the maths on that really don't add up!

Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 18:53

Yes the 5% blame is linked to MN, Blu! He told me that himself!!

2 glasses, Tess?! Steady on!!
Don't know if the Haribo would work, but worth a try!

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Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 18:55

Hope they are large glasses after your day today!

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Tessiebear · 24/06/2006 18:55

btw LW - i wish YOUR dad was like Hannah Saunders dad - i bet he would be SOOOOO supportive in a crisis!!

Tessiebear · 24/06/2006 18:56

they are large glasses of a quite expensive sparkly wine!!!

Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 18:58

Good girl! Not 5% wine either I hope!!!
Yes, HS's Dad is such a sweetie, as is her Mum.

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Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 19:07

Have yourself another few glasses of wine & enjoy your evening, Tess. Remember, there is always ebay!

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Tessiebear · 24/06/2006 19:16

Yeah - sorry about 5% wine - but we were in charge of kids!!!
Am cooking Caujan chicken n noodles now!
Have a nice evening - did you mum ask anything today - when she took your kids??

Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 19:21

5% wine was great, Tess! Just hope you have something stronger after your nightmare morning!

My Mum is SO not accepting the situation, or not prepared to try.
She was still going on about me going with H tonight & then said that we should sell the house & move into the estate that we grew up in as children and all will be fine!
I actually found her so unbelievable that I laughed!

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Smellen · 24/06/2006 19:23

Hello LW. Sounds like you are having a hard time. Lots of people out here are wishing you well though.

From reading the posts here, you are not the only one to go through such a horrible experience. However, when it is happening to you, it is no consolation, is it? I remember feeling very alone one night, and the idea that hundreds of thousands of couples were going through a similar thing... well it just made me feel more miserable.

However, once I had physically separated from the X, life just got better and better - so hold on in there.

Regarding your selling the house before or shortly after your H moves out, I think he is being a tad unrealistic & naive. Either that or he realises that you have the right to stay there with the kids until they reach the age of majority - he may well be s**tting himself at having what he no doubt sees as "his" money tied up in the property for the foreseeable future.

Do get legal advice. And do ask your solicitor to act quickly - they can be very slow at times. Be careful though if you get into the habit of e-mail correspondence with them - they will still charge you a silly amount for reading your e-mails. To keep costs down, keep all contact with them short and to the point - make notes of what you need to ask in advance and read up as much as possible yourself. I know I sound really cold-hearted about this, but with a partner who is a game-player and manipulative, you have to get organised and be very business like when it comes to your divorce.

Disregard his cr*p comments about you making the final decision to leave - at the end of the day, you have stuck it out for a very long time, willing his behaviour to improve and trying to keep it all together for your kids and family (and for yourself too - it sounds like you really did care for him originally - and no one sets out to have a divorce ).

The reason you are leaving is because you can't go on living on egg shells and negating your own personality without risking your mental health. And you don't want your kids to grow up believing that it is normal for adults to throw temper tantrums, use coercion, etc.

Don't feel guilty about what is happening. I personally don't believe that it is healthy to cast yourself as a victim - but you have been wronged in this. By breaking out of the situation though you are being strong and taking control of your destiny. Lots of people on MN admire that. Keep strong .

Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 19:31

Thanks, smellen.
I did care an awful lot for him & still do to a point, but have accepted that the changes will not happen & I have to try & move on. It is hard though.
Your posts on my thread have been fantastic & really given me hope. Thank you.

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tyedye · 24/06/2006 19:33

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tyedye · 24/06/2006 19:39

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Smellen · 24/06/2006 19:39

No worries. I just really want you to know that it is possible to start afresh. Living with an abusive partner - whatever form of the abuse - really wears you down. They usually try to make you feel like you are the unreasonable one... and gradually you start to believe that. And it makes leaving so much harder. But, once you have removed yourself from that situation, life comes back in technicolour. You'll get there soon.

And of course part of you loves some parts of him. Something attracted you to the man in the first place, and part of reason you chose to stay for so long is because you see the good in him (no one can be 100% horrible 100% of the time!) But, when you've weighed it all up, you've decided that you simply can't live with things as they are.

I hope that one day - maybe a few years down the line, when you have had time to be your own woman again, and your kids have adjusted to the new set-up - that you will meet someone who shows you what it is not just to love, but to be loved.

In the meantime, life can be great as a single woman - hard at times, but exhilerating and fun. Good luck.

tyedye · 24/06/2006 19:41

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QueenBeety · 24/06/2006 19:42

hello darling. sorry been crap...

xxx

tyedye · 24/06/2006 19:42

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Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 19:51

Thanks, smellen. You are spot on when you describe how they make you feel like you are the unreasonable one & how you start to believe it - especially when it is reinfourced by your own parents.
My Mum obviously thinks it is acceptable to have a husband who scares you with their temper, so long as they don't hit you.
I say this because after my Dad threatening me & telling me he would have hit me if he was H, I asked her if Dad had ever hit her. To this she said "No, I would have left him if he did"
Emotional abuse is a very hard one to see & for some people to take seriously & as Dad is a controlling, angry man himself, who Mum has stuck with, she cannot bring herself to understand or support me.
I feel so low at the moment & there are times when I wonder how the heck I am going to get through all this & come out the other side, so it is reassuring for me to hear from those who have.

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Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 19:52

Hi, beety.
No worries, I have been out for last two nights.
Hope you are ok.

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Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 19:57

& you haven't been crap! You have been a great support to me.

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QueenBeety · 24/06/2006 21:25

yes fine apart form batterling with a 12 year old agagag

tyedye · 24/06/2006 21:27

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Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 21:33

Oh dear! I dread mine approaching the teen years. I can have battles with my 6 year old at times & refuse to move any higher than year 3 in the school I work in!
Are all children in bed now?
Hope you can relax & have yourself a large drink!

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QueenBeety · 24/06/2006 21:36

ds is still screaming adn shouting asnd telling me he hates me!!!

Lemmingswife · 24/06/2006 21:36

I learnt this from a Freedom training thing that I went on, tyedye. I felt a fraud for being there, as all the other women had been battered, but soon learned from them that the emotional abuse was the most damaging abuse that they had suffered.

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