My marraige is over...

[Lemmingswife]

I know it is for the best, but I am hurting really bad atm & keep thinking of my poor babies.

Ahem - some of us are typo-nightmares when we're on top form .

I can see why you would want to get yourself out of the house pretty smartly, then. But you need to know exactly what the financial situation is going to be so that you can buy somewhere smaller, don't you? Would you consider moving closer to the school - doesn't H give you a lift quite often atm?

Hiya LW

Just wanted to add my support as I am going through a similar thing atm - my dh moved out on sunday and I know how hard it is and how your head feels like its going to explode with all the emotions youre struggling with. CAT me if you ever want to chat

Love Tamba xxx

Yes he does often give me a lift, Blu. We live a 15 min walk from the school, which would be fine if I didn't have DS1 with me, as I stride quite quickly. DS1 on the other hand is the slowest walker in the world & the journey takes a lot longer than it should!
Occasionally (& it is occasionally) one of my parents give me a lift, but seen as neither of them like me anymore, I can't rely on them either!!
So yes, I guess a house nearer the school would be good. That or I learn to drive!

Tamba - sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation. It is horrible isn't it?
Thanks for your support & I hope you are ok.x

Do you have a thread on here Tamba?

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=9&threadid=181558&stamp=060613175844\here}

Oh, you poor thing. I haven't read whole thread, as I have to put DS2 to bed & then am going out, but will have a proper look tomorrow.
Sorry to have missed the thread originally.
Take care of yourself.xxx

How are you LW? Hope you are ok and having a bit of time to yourself.

she is out seeing a mate GF

LOL That is why I said hope she was having a bit of time to herself!

Oh god,not just me then!

Hope you are having a lovely time, LW. And I hope some nice man gives you a nice peck on the cheek after he walks you home.

No men walking me home!!
Have had a nice evening at a friends house though & did tell her a little of what is going on in my life atm!
Didn't spend whole evening depressing her though & was falling asleep at the end of the night, so best I get to bed now!

Glad you had a nice time!

night lw. i hope you sleep well and tomorrow is good day.:)

Hi lw - glad you had a good evening. Putting the house on the market straight away does sound like a good idea, doesn't it?

Yes, we will be putting the house on the market very soon.
Feeling very horrible again today. Had another mail from my mum feeling sorry for herself & saying how bad I am because I haven't been to see HER in the last couple of days.
She says that Dad has told her to back off & do even less for me!
She hasn't come to see me once since she found out that H & myself are seperating & hasn't once taken the boys to give me a break.
It is all about poor her. I don't want to go round so she can have more of a go & make me feel worse.

Asked my line manager if I could speak to her this week. I am meeting with her either tomorrow or Friday, as I feel she should know incase it starts to affect my work.

Your Mum picks her moments, doesn't she?
I suppose you can either ignore her, or reply pointing out that she is rather proving your point in your original complaint about her, since she has neitrher visited you nor had the boys at this ultra-stressful time, and therefore 'giving you even less help' will make no noticable difference to you at all!

On the other hand, rowing with your parents must be an emotionally exhausting process - have it out with her and tell her to leave you alone, or totally ignore her...but then you will get a barrage of emotional blackmail - which you will have to close yourself off from.

Pity she didn't go away with your Dad.

I think telling your manager is a v good idea - you need people who are in apractical position to be of constructive help - the more the better.

You've survived your parents your whole life - you'll survive them this time, too - and be all the stronger for doing so.

But I am furious with her on your behalf - just sorry my fury is of no practical use!

DS1 did a postcard at school today & wrote it out to his Daddy.
This is all so horrible.

I have just mailed her & given her it straight, Blu.

I've been reading your thread, nothing practical to say only I really feel for you.

Could the postcard DS1 made be probably only coz its Father Day on Sunday?

Its hard, my DDs were devastatated when I split from their Dad but we did get through it and are now all the better for it. I'm sure you will be too, chin up and keep going

Good on you LW,she needs to be told. She has no second thoughts for your feels when she sends you e-mails etc.

I think you need to tell your mum that she either supports you through this awful time in your life, whether by listening and empathising or whether by taking the boys to give you time to yourself, or she backs off completely. You do not have the time or energy to deal with her feelings about the situation. It's your marriage which is ending, not hers and she should be adult enough to appreciate that your feelings are far more important here than are hers.

She is still going on about how upset she is that I posted about a few things that irritated me about her on MN, as she somehow found my original MN name (which has now been deleted), but at the end of the day she shouldn't have been spying on me like that!
I have apologised & explained myself, but also told her that I felt my privacy had been invaded & that I didn't need this extra stress right now, as I had far huger things going on in my life.
I told her that I was not prepared to enter into an argument, as it was not the time, so it would be best if we just leave it.

The postcard was just something they were doing in class. His TA told me that it was written out to Daddy & she said "What about mummy?"
He told her it was just for Daddy.
This is going to be SO tough.

Good for you re the reply to your Mum, LW - excellent!

ohhh...re DS and his postcard. H will still be his Daddy, he will still see him, you know!

But I know it must hurt.