My marraige is over...

[Lemmingswife]

I know it is for the best, but I am hurting really bad atm & keep thinking of my poor babies.

Okay. Thanks for checking in on me.
Speak tomorrow.xx

Sleep well LW!

I will try, GF!

LW, glad that MN were so helpful so fast - I had the same experience when my Mum was interfering.
I think essbee raised some interesting points about your relationship with your parents. My Mum is like that - thinks she has the right to lecture me and tell me how to live my life (how she figures that when she walked out and left me and siblings with my Dad when I was 12, I dont know) and so I have cut contact with her until she can see some sense.
Sometimes I think parents are the hardest to deal with - you feel like you owe them something for bringing you up, but they shouldn't be able to interfere with the family you ave created and I think you are being immensely strong at doing what is best for you and your boys.
I dont know if it helps at all, but you and your family are in my prayers at the moment, and seriously, if you need a break I live in remote scotland and have a Granny flat - you would always be most welcome if things get too difficult.

Ahhh, thank you.

LW I am going to pay my subs so you can CAT me if you want - i do understand about the nutter mother syndrome, even if I have a great DH (who also thinks my Mum is weird, thank goodness!)

I have paid already, duuuhhhh
So CAT me if you want, or not, just whatever would help right now.

Thanks, harrisey.
H came home at 11.30pm last night very drunk.
He has arranged to go & stay at a friends house, but he says it may be a couple of weeks before he leaves.
Feeling very very tired. I haven't slept properly since the start of this, so may be a bit useless at work today!

Shame your husband can't leave now - he is just prolonging your agony and is maybe his way of controlling the situation, and you. Shame he can't go and stay with your Dad lol.

He is prolonging the agony for you LW but take each day at a time at the moment. I am a real planner and found it really hard to stop doing that! Everything I planned turned out differently anyway.

Hope you are ok today at work.

Glad to see your still staying strong.
Hope H is not putting any pressure on you and trying to manipulate things.
Arronsmummy had a great suggestion... Can't H go and live at your Dad's.
Lets hope H moves out quicker than "a few weeks", although if he doesnt just keep making plans for when he does go. Whatever happened to the house being put on the market... or was that just him trying to scare you. Whatever it was I'm so glad you stayed strong and stood your ground, he must be realising now that he cannot control you anymore.

Well, he is saying that he will go & stay at a friends on the condition that I put the house on the market.
HV seems to think we should put it on the market anyway, as it is too big for me to even begin to manage on my own.
I was okay at work today. Felt a bit churned this morning, but was fine this afternoon. I find work a great distraction!
Going to see a friend tonight, as I feel it is my turn to get out of the house & have a drink with a friend. H has been doing it pretty much every day since our big talk.
Think I may try & have a word with my line manager at work & let her know a little of the situation I am in, just incase it starts to affect my performance, or I need some time off.

I hope you have had legal advice LW with regards to the sale of the house. Make sure you know all your options. Enjoy youself tonight

I did get legal advice regarding the house & will be going back for more.

He's still game-playing, I see, LW, and using the house as a way of oppressing you. I don't see why you should put it on the market as a condition of him moving out, even if you do want to move long term to a place that's easier to manage, would it not be better for the boys not to have to endure a move and a separation at the same time? OTOH, maybe it gets it all over and done with, and there aren't the associations of living in the house where daddy used to live - I'm sure other MNers can advise.

Still haven't mentioned anything to the boys. That is going to be really hard.

you can just put it on the market to gt himout. that does not mean that it will sell straight away. You can stop it selling anyway if you want to

Very true, Beetroot. Our last house took 8 months to sell.

It is hard having him here, because in one way it is like all is normal, but of course everything is actually far from normal & it can get very upsetting having him around.

It must be awful, LW, a very peculiar situation. Glad you're out tonight, though.
Irrespective of what anyone else thinks or wants, what would you most like to do about the house right now?
Is the problem that H cannot afford to rent a temporary place until it is sold?

I have never felt happy in this house & feel I would be WAY out of my depth in here alone with the boys. There is no way I could afford to live here, as we have a high mortgage.
There are also too many memories here etc.

He just wants it all done & dusted I think, Blu.

I'd agree to putting it on the market to get him out - if he can't afford a flat, he could always go and stay with your parents as they think so highly of him . You can take your time over any sale, even refusing decent offers if you aren't ready to move forward at that point.

He would HATE to stay with my parents! My mum annoys him!
Yes, I think that putting the house on the market would maybe not be a bad idea. There are some houses round are street that have been on the market for months & months.

Round OUR streeet. Have to excuse my very bad typos atm. Lack of sleep for days on end is catching up with me!