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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

is there ever an excuse for pushing your wife when she ia holding your newborn...

149 replies

s0fedup · 14/07/2013 17:13

Just that really
huge row, pushing, shoving, hands round my throat, i threw the babies bottle at him which has cut his nose then the final push backwards onto the bed

OP posts:
VegPatchLurker · 14/07/2013 17:14

Call the police and get out.

What a shit.

Original poster
s0fedup · 14/07/2013 17:17

I was standing in front of the door and wouldnt move bexause he just says horrible things then walks out and it drives me mad. So i wanted to say my sentence and sort it out.
I should have just left it
he says its my fault for not letting him out
my ds1 saw him push me, he is upset
I dont know what to say to him

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 14/07/2013 17:18

is there ever an excuse for pushing your wife when she is holding your newborn...

No. Not ever. As VegPatch said, call the police.

Any friends or family or neighbours you can call? Is he still there? Are you safe?

SlimePrincess · 14/07/2013 17:19

It isn't your fault.

Please call the police.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 14/07/2013 17:20

Unless a car was heading straight for you then no. Get out and call police.

Original poster
s0fedup · 14/07/2013 17:21

Dont worry i am completly safe
he has a VERY stressful job and every now and then we have a huge blow out and he is awful
its always in anger so i am not worried just so sad

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 14/07/2013 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhondaJean · 14/07/2013 17:22

Well yeah if a train or car are coming and you are in the way...

Look he wanted to leave, you shouldn't have stopped him or thrown things at him either. There's no excuse for his behaviour though.

Original poster
s0fedup · 14/07/2013 17:23

I have called a friend, she is livid
I cant leave my family are 100miles away and the dcs have school
I just dont want him to do this
he says he doesnt love me, we have been living lime room mates for the last year

OP posts:
Secretswitch · 14/07/2013 17:24

Sofedup, you are not safe from a man who puts his hands around your throat. You are not safe from a man who pushes you whilst holding your newborn. This man is a threat to you and your children. If you won't get help for yourself, please do it for them.

NotAnotherPackedLunch · 14/07/2013 17:25

Does he do this to colleagues every so often too, or is it just you that it happens with?
Please get yourself and your children to somewhere safe and don't take any risks with your new born.

Secretswitch · 14/07/2013 17:26

The police will make him leave. You can remain in your home if you wish. This is not your fault. It's fine if he does not love you anymore, it is not fine for him to attack you.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 14/07/2013 17:27

Doesn't matter if he has a stressful job or not, that is no excuse for assaulting someone, regardless of whether they are holding a baby or not.

Original poster
s0fedup · 14/07/2013 17:27

I cant call the police, he would lose his job
i just want the horrible words he says and this happening again

OP posts:
Original poster
s0fedup · 14/07/2013 17:28

He says i am a drama queen and i throw myself on the floor

OP posts:
scoutfinch1 · 14/07/2013 17:29

This is in no way ok. Please don't put up with this. A stressful job is not an excuse, not even a little bit. This was done in front of your son which is really, really not ok. There are no excuses, your son should not be witnessing this. The fact that you were holding the baby whilst he pushed you etc is just unforgivable. If he can not control his temper whilst you're holding a newborn and your son is present then he is a danger to you and your children. This is not fair on them. If he is not there you should ring Women's Aid. To be honest you don't sound like you are going to leave him but you need to put your children first. This will get worse (trust me). You really need to get some help.

MissStrawberry · 14/07/2013 17:30

NO, never.

It wasn't your fault. He is being a twat blaming you.

Stop defending him. He could be about the deliver the Heir to the Throne in a car park, doesn't make it all right to assault his wife and baby because he has a stressful job.

Don't stay with someone you don't love. Life is too long to spend it unhappy and in an abusive relationship. Your children deserve better than this.

defineme · 14/07/2013 17:30

I'm sorry this has happened and sorry that this is what it's come to.
Report his violence and say you don't want him back in the house.
What example are you setting ds1 if he sees Daddy allowed back in?

Nanny0gg · 14/07/2013 17:30

I have to ask - how do you have a newborn if you're living like housemates?

Who's name is the house in? And losing his job isn't really your problem - but why would that happen?

MissStrawberry · 14/07/2013 17:31

Are you a drama queen? Do you throw yourself on the floor?

Even if yes to both you don't deserve to be assaulted.

He isn't going to stop so what are you going to do?

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 14/07/2013 17:32

Trust me s0, they don't ever stop Sad

defineme · 14/07/2013 17:32

So he loses his job?

Perhaps it will give him the wake up call he needs to stop being a violent abuser.

You will survive, but you need to cut him loose and think of your kids. They do not need to see this.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 14/07/2013 17:33

Please do not let him back in. He is a violent bully who then minimises his behaviour and blame you. He put his hands round your throat. He is a danger to you and to your children. Please call Women's Aid and the police. You are not safe. You really aren't.

Original poster
s0fedup · 14/07/2013 17:33

He has juat brought me up a bowl of dinner... I said thanks but wtf
I know I sound like an idiot, but its not all the time, the last huge blow out we had was when I found out i was pregnant. he didnt want any more, she was a surprise, he thinks i planned it...
I posted before about it

OP posts:
scoutfinch1 · 14/07/2013 17:34

Sorry x post. If you want to leave him could you go to your friends? Could she come round and be with you whilst you make him leave. I know it is hard but the safety of you and your children is the most important thing not his job or the DC's school.