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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Another Thread (LoserNoMore...again)

435 replies

LoserNoMore · 10/07/2013 16:58

Hi, so on another thread but not really much further forward, in fact I feel worse. Anyway I've been to the doctors and have Anti D's and referred to a counsellor. Hopefully these will work.

Thanks to everyone for their support on previous threads and PMs too, it is all very much appreciated.

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 30/07/2013 18:32

well if nice guys can like messy cow packs like me cjel i'm sure there's one out there for you. pretty sure this guy would run for the hills if he saw the state of my house.

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 30/07/2013 19:29

Sometimes the least likely guy can be perfect.

I'm still knackered, girls are away to ex for the night in his new house. Wasn't planned but he has them during the day tomorrow when I'm working so it's easier all round and I only need to get myself ready in the morning which means an extra 30 minutes in bed, bonus.

Bubble bath running just now, wee glass of wine maybe and flop on the sofa.

OP posts:
cjel · 30/07/2013 19:33

thats reassuring although I suspect you are 'normal'! I have moved the washing pile to one corner of the sofa so I can sit down and just stuck to my kitchen floor as i made tea!! my daughter rang and asked me to have her girls tomorrow and i said i was going to housework and she said I haven't go it right she said if you have an allocated space for things its not a mess its tidy. Her allocated place for her ironing is the floor under the window in her bedroom, then people who go past can't see it but its tidy - its in its placeSmile I am having girls so won't be able to house work.

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 30/07/2013 22:26

Jus

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 31/07/2013 09:00

just say no?

hope you're ok - bit of a random post there.

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 31/07/2013 11:06

Morning! Washed, conditioned, combed, nit combed, re conditioned, rinsed dd hair and a few eggs, nothing major. Will do again today but not expecting any more of the horrid beasties

We BBQ last night and just as the coals were hot and food was cooking nicely the heavens opened. It was hilarious, fil put a tarp above BBQ, I was standing with golf brolly covering BBQ, kids in gazebo attached to tarp awning

Dh and I got soaked, my sis in law and bil were in charge of keeping our camp fire going. We looked like drowned rats, tinkers but we had lovely food, toasted marshmallows and cake!

Then about 9 it cleared up. We all sat around the fire, kids singing and having fun, adults having a few drinkies

The only downside is ds gf has cheated on him, twice. He is upset, understandably, but one of the boys is his good friend. Teenagers!

I'm more cross with his gf, she's spent time with us, had dinner etc at our house. Bloody ally cat!

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 31/07/2013 11:15

Apologies. Last post all about me! Blush

SAF you deserve a goog guy, and get reading that book! It helps

Cjel, feel better soon, there's someone for everyone.

Lnm keep on going, you are doing great. If this place we are staying in was mine I'd invite you up. But we just rent round corner from my fils place. I need my own space away from them all. Lets just say my bil is polar opposite to my dh in every way!

BrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewThanksThanksThanksThanksThanks For everyone.

swallowedAfly · 31/07/2013 11:58

thanks for the coffee and flowers. i need to find a deserted area and scream like a loon.

went down this morning to disgusting dog mess all over the kitchen floor and a wet patch on hall rug. did the whole wretching disgusting clean up identified which dog it was and gave them only some toast for breakfast and kept an eye out. came back upstairs with cup of coffee only for ds to announce that the other dog has made a big mess and to have to go through the whole thing again.

don't think i was wrong about the first mess but it seems it's both of them and i let the little one have a normal breakfast.

it is at times like this that i want to explode with the seeming amount of pressure on me which is utterly stupid. but suddenly it feels like, child, animals, house, job, money etc etc etc is all too much to deal with. 9 times out of ten it is cleaning up poo that is the straw that breaks this camel's back.

so there is my rant!!!!

i like animals and i really value ds being able to grow up around animals hence putting myself in this situation but at times like this i think i must be a bloody lunatic to take so much on.

have just had to do that really controlled anger thing of explaining to ds that i am not angry at him and no i'm not really angry at the dogs i'm just angry and frustrated and had enough. wonder if he'll ever realise how much better he has it than i did just from someone bothering to make that distinction clear? doubtful.

swallowedAfly · 31/07/2013 12:01

oh AND i've managed to forget tax credits and today is the deadline and you can bet the phonelines will be jammed with hour long queues.

do i bother ringing or do the paperwork and send it off today and hope for the best? sorry - i'm not a thread starter so you lot get all my angst and questions Blush

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 31/07/2013 12:36

Can you still do it online SAF? If not get on the phone pronto.

Think we all have those moments when it's all just too much. Put dogs outside if its nice and air the house. Then only do what you have to do today. And lastly, yes I think it's important to explain the difference of being angry at a situation as opposed to a person. He will get it. Thanks

swallowedAfly · 31/07/2013 12:38

i've filled it all out and it's in an envelope. have decided posting it today should be fine as realistically they can't instantly sort whose is in and whose isn't at midnight tonight iyswim.

yes definite too much moment. dogs are outside and access to back passage (no pun intended). house is airing.

yes i think it's important too - i just remember the constant knot in my stomach as a kid from people's generalised anger and shouting. anger is unavoidable sometimes but owning it and pointing it in a construction direction is important.

swallowedAfly · 31/07/2013 12:38

and thank you!

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 01/08/2013 10:22

Hi. BrewBrewBrewBrewBrew

Peeing down here so we are off to do some inside things today. En masse 3 cars of our clan. It's hilarious, we communicate with mobile phones used by kids, sort of ends up like Chinese whispers

Grin
swallowedAfly · 01/08/2013 10:59

sounds lovely jax Smile you will be a mass descending upon whatever unsuspecting place you invade Grin

no poo or drama here today. dogs had toast yesterday and slept in the passage and have had plain rice this morning. if tummies still ok i'll give them rice and scrambled eggs for tea. which reminds me i collected my first eggs from my hens that were cockerels that were hens again yesterday Smile

lnm i hope you're ok - very quiet sweets?

cjel · 01/08/2013 11:22

Morning LNM, Thinking of you this morning.

swallowedAfly · 01/08/2013 13:38

don't want to detract (as usual) from lnm's thread but to the ladies on here who have been so lovely to me please read and comment here

cjel · 01/08/2013 22:18

LMN, you are quiet my lovely are you OK?x

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 02/08/2013 10:33

Morning everyone. YBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewBrewThanks. Hope everyone's ok

Lnm you're very quiet. How are you?

We had fun yesterday, went to crannogs and made fire, played at being olden days. Then a walk around loch Tay, then into aberfeldy. Then home, dinner, fire, few drinks and brought my nephew back for sleepover. I'm loving toasted marshmallows! Very tasty, but naughty. I won a bottle of lambrini at a bottle stall at a fundraiser the other day so my sil and I drank that too

Weather hasn't been the best, but we've made the most of it.

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 03/08/2013 13:32

Where's everyone gone? BrewBrewBrewBrewWineWineWineWineWine

cjel · 03/08/2013 13:47

Jax thanks for drinks.SAF has been around on her other thread, but haven't heard from anyone else!! Summer Hols perhaps?

swallowedAfly · 03/08/2013 13:57

lambrini - you classy girl jax Grin

i'm around but no word from lnm.

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 03/08/2013 22:26

Hi, I've had the week from hell. I'm staying with my friend for a bit, the girls are with ex. I think I had some sort of breakdown. Sounds so dramatic and don't really like saying that but it's the only way I can describe it. I felt like just ending it all on Tuesday. I couldn't cope. Everything just got on top of me, I think trying to put on a brave face backfired. Asking ex to take the girls absolutely killed me but its just temporary. I miss them so much.

I had a 2 night stay in hospital and had my anti d's changed. I still feel pretty low. I have so much stuff going on in my head I can't see the end of it all. I just want to leave here go and pick the girls up and go home but its not fair on them.

Thank you for thinking of me .

OP posts:
cjel · 04/08/2013 00:02

LNM so sorry to hear that. I've had several breakdowns, but none since i left ex so i'm the other way to you.take a little time to get yourself straight , don't rush back to life. do whatever you need to take care of yourself for a little while. Glad you had a friend you could go to.Flowers

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 04/08/2013 00:21

Thank you. On the plus side I'm not tired any more, I've done nothing but sleep. If my friend tells me to get some rest one more time I may scream. Bless her, she does mean well. I've just watched Paranormal Activity and I think I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight.

I know there's only 2 or 3 of you left on the thread but thank you, it means a lot that you've stuck with me offering support.

OP posts:
mumat39 · 04/08/2013 00:29

Oh LNM, I'm still here. So pleased you have you're friend. Those dark thoughts can occur sometimes with AD's so fingers crossed the new ones are better.

Sleeping in good. Especially when you haven't been sleeping so well lately.

Sending you big hugs. Xxx

I'm going back to lurking now, but I am here. Xxx