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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Another Thread (LoserNoMore...again)

435 replies

LoserNoMore · 10/07/2013 16:58

Hi, so on another thread but not really much further forward, in fact I feel worse. Anyway I've been to the doctors and have Anti D's and referred to a counsellor. Hopefully these will work.

Thanks to everyone for their support on previous threads and PMs too, it is all very much appreciated.

OP posts:
superstarheartbreaker · 04/08/2013 00:31

Can I join? Just been on POF and ex is on there. I miss him although he dumped me in the most horrid way (ignored me then messaged me on Facebook. ) Pah; he cares not one jot for me!

HollyuponPoppy · 04/08/2013 02:34

I'm a total lurker, LMN, but here I am to cheer you on through your tough time. You are amazing. I bet there are many folks following your journey and supporting you even if, like me, they don't say much. I'm on the left coast USA so I miss most of the active discussion times, but I check on you every day. Your posts shine with wit and honesty, and sincerity, even when you are obviously totally blue. I can't add much here, but know that you've made positive impressions on people like me, who admire you.

HollyuponPoppy · 04/08/2013 02:42

Also, I know your name is really LNM. Not LMN. I don't know who THAT is! (If I knew how to insert an eye-rolling emoticon I'd do that here now)

pmgkt · 04/08/2013 03:10

There are lots of us still here, just not sure what to say as have had no experience to help you. I would say that you recognising that you are struggling and having a 'breakdown' of any sort is actually really good, it would be far harder for you and your friend if you couldn't see this

JollyGolightly · 04/08/2013 06:37

Hey, I'm lurking. Can't post.much.on this crappy phone - see all the random fullstops? That's just one of its little ways. I bet.I'm just one of many who check on you quietly, willing things to improve for you. I'm sorry things are so shitty. I have faith that you'll come out the.other side and that the future holds better, but its probably hard.to feel that when you're in the middle of it. Can you get to a beach today?

ktef · 04/08/2013 06:37

I'm here lurking too. I think you've handled this so well and are doing a brilliant job at showing your daughters how to live with self respect. I imagine you are feeling a lot worse at times than you are expressing on here. Maybe try telling us all the bad stuff too? You have been admired on your threads for your strength, but don't let that stop you showing and expressing your weakness/sadness etc on here as we will all still support you and admire you. Back to lurking.

themidwife · 04/08/2013 06:44

Hi LNM - I was around on your first thread & have just lurked since. So sorry to hear you've been unwell & things have got on top of you. You've had so much on your plate the last few weeks so it's no surprise you've had a breakdown. I'm glad your friend is looking after you. Thinking of you ThanksThanks

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 04/08/2013 08:10

I'm still here too. BrewBrewBrewBrewBrewThanks

So sorry you aren't in a good place. What have the hospital done to help you? Do you have any mental health care plans in place?

Feel free to pm me anytime.
It will get better, the old cliche of time.

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2013 09:02

sorry to hear this LNM but glad you're staying with a friend and taking a break from home and the girls, much as you miss them.

how come you ended up staying in hospital? and yes as jax has i'm wondering what support they've left in place now you've been discharged.

cjel · 04/08/2013 09:20

Morning LNM, So glad you are back , love the joke about getting more rest!!! Trouble is there is activity and activity!! I think its a good idea now to almost do some sort of occupationally therapy type stuff. I don't know what you like (after me and ex split someone asked me what I did for fun and I burst into tears because I had no idea what I did for funSad) It really is the things like art, writing, baking, walking, listening to music etc. do you have any of those things? I can remember sitting on a beach with my sister, she wrote and I had oil paints result was rubbish but we laughed at what we were doing, results don't matter its what you get from doing it that counts.
Hope you are feeling bit better today and also echo about you don't always have to be bright on here, this is a place where you can be open - we can take it!!Flowers

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 04/08/2013 10:39

Oh thank you, it's nice to wake up to such kind messages Flowers

I have a counselling session this week which was arranged by my GP a few weeks ago. I also have a CPN who will contact me too. I do feel like a total failure. If it was anyone else I'd tell them it was far from being a failure and I know it's not. Taking help in times like this is the right thing to do. I just hate that things have spiralled out of my control. I feel terribly guilty that I don't feel I can provide emotional stability for the girls right now. I need to get better, fast.

Sorry, waffling on. No plans today, weather isn't great. Just going to find a book to read and lose myself for a few hours.

OP posts:
cjel · 04/08/2013 10:56

Don't think you 'need to get better fast' Get better properly how ever long it takes, do it once and for all not quick fix that won't last. takeyour time to care for yuorself for a bit . dds are fine.x

swallowedAfly · 04/08/2013 11:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lazarusb · 04/08/2013 11:21

Hi LNM. Sorry to hear things haven't been so good. I've been lurking for a few days as you were quiet, but I have been thinking about you. I spent Thursday on the beach with the dcs and thought about you a lot, I know you like beaches. The crashing waves and the smell of chips. No sand here though - just bloody great pebbles.

I had a breakdown in 1999 related to bereavement. Don't feel guilty about it. I've said it very often and it bears repeating - there's no shame in asking for and receiving help. I'd go so far as to say that there is great strength in doing so. You are being very hard on yourself - give yourself a bit of time and love. You are not a failure by any means, you are a great mum and a lovely person. Don't worry about 'losing control', sometimes we have to, however difficult it is. Reaching rock bottom means we start moving back up. You aren't alone LNM, we are all here. PM me any time, I'm always checking e-mails! Smile & Flowers - I'm guessing you're not really a flowers woman but have some anyway! ((((hugs))))!

Original poster
LoserNoMore · 04/08/2013 11:26

Wow saf, I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm not going into every last detail of my life on here. I was told I would have a visit at home from a CPN. If you are doubting the credibility of things I have said I can't prove otherwise.

Anyway I'm out of here also. Thanks for all the support the past few months, I'd have been lost without it.

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 04/08/2013 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wooly31 · 04/08/2013 13:19

Saf-I am delurking to say i work in a general hospital and in certain situations/circumstances what lmn describes is very likely. Lmn that is very sad and i hope you get well soon. Take all support you can. Re-lurkingx

VulvaVoom · 04/08/2013 14:06

Delurking to say I'm sorry you're so low LNM and to wish you all the best.

SAF I think whatever your feelings are/were you should have kept quiet, I can see you've given lots of support over the past few months and I imagine what you've said was a bit hurtful, especially at the moment.

I'm not trying to have a dig at you but feel someone had to say it.

JollyGolightly · 04/08/2013 15:00

Public services are indeed very different in Scotland, I can understand that Southerners might find that surprising. Still no grounds for openly questioning a poster's veracity, SAF.

ArtemisFoul · 04/08/2013 15:09

I always change a few minor details online as I'm terrified of being found out, anyone with sense does the same. I've been called out due to this in the past.

Hope you're feeling better LNM.

bleedingheart · 04/08/2013 16:28

I check this thread often to see how you are LNM, I'm sorry you are having a tough time of it but I'm glad your friend has come through for you and I hope you have time to start healing so you can be reunited with your lovely girls soon.
Take good care.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 04/08/2013 16:37

I'm a frequent lurker. You are a brave, strong, witty woman LNM. Things will get better. You have done all the right things to help yourself. There are many here who hope you will come back to the thread. But only if it's helpful to you.

lazarusb · 04/08/2013 17:13

Have PMed you LNM.

AndMiffyWentToSleep · 04/08/2013 18:33

Hey LNM, I'm still here and and noted and worried as you've not been around. I just got busy moving country and trying to deal with an unsettled toddler (among other things). But I'm glad things are moving in terms of counselling etc. i hope you find it helpful.
Rubbish weather and losing yourself in a book sounds lovely - it's been 35+ degrees here and I can't take it! My first day here was spent completely indoors with the shutters closed. Still, at least it was cooler today.

cjel · 04/08/2013 20:29

LNM. Hope you will be ok. love to be in touch again when you feel up to it. Look after yourself.x

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