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Original poster

Diary of a commitment phobe

132 replies

fairyfly · 03/06/2006 19:55

I have not seen my boyfriend for 2 weeks.
He just picked me up.
I sat in his house and asked what was going on.
He said, why don't you just get the hint. You are a needy hassling nag. When i dont see you for two weeks it is because i dont want to be with you. Get out of my house. I began to cry, he said see........ you just fuck me off, go away.

OP posts:
Dior · 03/06/2006 19:58

Bloody hell! Is he really worth all the to-ing and fro-ing he's pout you through recently?

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/06/2006 20:01

Nope, but i looked at him and he makes me so sad, i adored him and now he is so so cruel.
I cannot believe his cold attitude.
It has to be over, i know it now, i just don't know what went wrong.
We got on so well and wer so in love two weeks ago, then his bottle went.
I no i have to walk away now as he is slowly killing me, but i am very very very upset.
I'm so scared of being alone again. I just wanted so much to be loved.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 03/06/2006 20:02

It sounds like he's been very clear ff, sorry.

Dior · 03/06/2006 20:03

Cruel to stop you loving him?

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/06/2006 20:05

Cruel in the way he speaks to me, cruel in the way he tells me he has never been so in love and then next minute treats me like a stranger.

I know www, he has been very clear.

OP posts:
Dior · 03/06/2006 20:10

No, what I meant was, is he being cruel kind of to make it easier for you, so that you tell him to piss off finally? I had a boyfriend who was a complete pig for a night, in front of all his friends. I think he hoped that I would tell him to get lost, so that he didn't have to do it!

ruty · 03/06/2006 20:28

Oh FF, life is too short. don't put up with this crap. Walk away and realise you deserve better.

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/06/2006 20:41

He has just told me he doesn't like anything about me but he doesn't want to finish it. Then he procceded to point out all my faults until i felt like a worthless piece of crap.Then he said he couldn't walk away though, then he told me who doesn't like me. I feel dreadful and i want to get away from all of these people.

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 03/06/2006 20:43

FF - take the advice you would give to someone else. He is a shit, even if you love him, a man who behaves like a shit is a shit - walk away.

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/06/2006 21:05

Well all i can feel at the moment is he is right, i have known him so long and he thinks so little of me.

OP posts:
mancmum · 03/06/2006 21:28

christ do you really want to be with someone who points out your faults and does not want to see you for 2 weeks... not quite sure what you are getting out of this you say you want to be loved you are not going to get that here better on your own for a while -- than accompanied and assassinated....

Sorry not sure if this is the same BF but is this the same one you have been seeing for a while and splitting up from ? You must know you have to walk and not look back... hell to do but this man is f*ing with your head... NOT WORTH IT

Dior · 03/06/2006 22:24

FF - Sad

ruty · 03/06/2006 22:25

He is TOXIC ff. Don't do it to yourself. How can it be worth it if he makes you feel so awful? I have been in a relationship with a man who made me feel so low, and I stayed for years. Waste of time, so much happier now, and there can be someone good out there for year. Please, just walk away from it, cut the line.

ruty · 03/06/2006 22:25

for you I mean!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 04/06/2006 08:26

FF

Such a person like this is toxic and will only damage you badly in an emotional sense. He is not worthy of being anyone's boyfriend!!.

This line of yours is very telling:-
"I'm so scared of being alone again. I just wanted so much to be loved".

Another way of looking at your situation - if a friend of yours was in such a mess what would you say to her?.

Here's another. What has happened in your past to get you to such a low point in you life whereby you let yourself be treated like rubbish by a man who turns out to be a turd?. BTW you don't have to answer that but you need to address this properly through counselling for your own self to start your own self loving you again and building up your own self esteem. Such patterns can become very destructive if not broken; you may have to unlearn some relationship patterns you have established. Women with very low self esteem and worth can attract men with such issues who will drag them down with them.

Why are you so scared to be alone again?. This is yet another issue that needs addressing.

You can dig your way out of the hole you find yourself in but you're going to have to put the emotional work in.

Original poster
fairyfly · 04/06/2006 16:36

I'm scared of being alone because i get lonely, basically.
I'm only human, i just like everyone else want to share my life with someone.
It is crap living alone sometimes. Thats about it.

I am gutted about us splitting up and that is quite simply because i have known him for fourteen years and my dreams have been smashed, again.

Yes, i have no self esteem, i lost that whn the father of my children spat in my face.
I was cautious though, i didn't jump into bed with the first man after he left.
I was desperate for anyone.
I went for my best mate as i trusted him. That just hurts.

OP posts:
blueteddy · 04/06/2006 16:37

Sad He sounds a real arse, FF. You deserve better.

Original poster
fairyfly · 04/06/2006 16:38

I wasn't desperate for anyone!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 04/06/2006 16:38

Good riddance. Get him OUT of your life! Been there, bought the tshirt, more than once.

People say I'm harsh, but I've been around and chose to learn from each experience.

And the overwhelming lesson I learned is that: 1) better to walk alone than badly accompanied 2) there are WAY too many men out there to put up w/bullshit like this.

In the words of Dan Savage: DTMFA. Dump the mutha f*&ka already.

expatinscotland · 04/06/2006 16:39

Let me ask you this, FF, b/c you sound like a nice person: would YOU treat a friend like this?

If the answer's no, then why put it up w/it from a 'friend'?

expatinscotland · 04/06/2006 16:40

Oh, and he's not a commitment phobe. I've gone out enough to know one of those. He's an asshole.

dinosaure · 04/06/2006 16:41

Sad for you fairyfly

To split up with a boyfriend is one thing but to be betrayed by an old friend you've known for 14 years is a different order or betrayal altogether. Very sorry.

Original poster
fairyfly · 04/06/2006 16:42

I would never sit in a room with a friend who was crying and tell them to go away they were a pathetic mess, nooooooo way.

I know, i know, i miss his good side, that all.

i shouldn't put up with it but im not ashamed of being scared to be alone again. It will take some getting used to.

Had a big rebound snog last night though.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 04/06/2006 16:45

Don't get me wrong, FF, it CAN very hard to be alone.

I did a lot of things I'm not proud of to avoid it. There were nights I couldn't bear to sleep alone so I had flings and got involved in some piss poor relationships w/gits or blokes who were absolutely no good for me, none of which turned out to be a good idea in the long run.

And you know, those things I did just made it worse than if I'd faced it head on to begin with.

But that was WAY hard so I can see where you're coming from.

But man, I feel old these days and I really, really hope my daughters don't go through what I did to get where I am now.

ruty · 04/06/2006 16:46

eh? You snogged him last night? Or was it someone else? Hope it was. Go girl.